text | un: Sasaki

[ex_adept136]

Like a few others here, I'm among those who met the goddess Nalanni. And like others there are things I learned from having a conversation with her. First and foremost, I'd like to request some help in conveying a message she intended for her people.

She wanted them to know that she loves them, and that she knows they can go on without her.

At the time, I was struck with the thought that she'd considered her own passing a possibility. And now that I've seen mentions of slaying gods here, it seems she wasn't wrong. Maybe some of you know more than me, but I'm not convinced it's the only way. Having said that, I'm not blind to the reality that those are our orders, and that there are those who will follow them.

I'm more interested in helping the Nalawi. I gave my word that I would do whatever I could, and so... To those who are already making efforts to ensure the Nalawi are able to sustain themselves, whatever may come, I'd like to volunteer any help I can provide.

If anyone wants further information on the conversation I had with Nalanni, please let me know. I'm unsure how much would be redundant, since admittedly, I've picked up on recent developments here and there.

Comments

[ex_adept136]

[He folds his arms as he tries to imagine that...

And ultimately a frown is only appropriate]

Although...theatrical... I have to believe there are better methods.

[Here they are trying to help and that's what they got...?]

I'm sorry you were put through something like that.

[grunehexe]

I would agree with you, but out input is not as valued in these matters. It was all what you might call a test.

[Her own expression has grown somewhat dark, but. There isn't much anything good that came of it, to her mind.]

It is nothing- despite my handicaps, I fared as well as most.

[ex_adept136]

I see...

[He hopes it's not typical, as it seems to him that imposing hardships isn't effective training... Although his earliest days of training in the CCG, while less flashy, weren't really better]

If you don't mind my asking, what is your impression of ALASTAIR, as an organization?

[grunehexe]

Perhaps that is simply their way. I have only been on three missions, so perhaps I cannot speak to it.

[Her impression of the organization...]

They seem to fancy themselves mysterious... voices from on high, who know better than we on what is "right"... I do not approve of it.

[ex_adept136]

[He doesn't interrupt, but even those three missions surely say something.

After all, this mission is his first. Perhaps someone else is more experienced in this organization, but she certainly knows more than he does]

That was starting to seem the case, from what I'd been hearing from others. I wasn't sure if it was this mission in particular or not... The organization I worked for previously [and assumes he'll return to-] had its secrets, but there was far more structure.

[grunehexe]

I am not one who relishes in secrets, so I cannot say I find this arrangement to my liking, even if I might understand the need for certain discreetness in some matters.

[But.]

In this case, their secrets seem to inhibit the actual work that needs to be done.

[ex_adept136]

That...really is unfortunate. Do you suppose they don't realize that it's detrimental to their own cause?

[He can't help but wonder, considering she isn't the first person to mention this sort of issue with the organization's operations]

[grunehexe]

They are supposedly omnipotent enough to know what goes on in other worlds and how to "fix" them... so unless they are truly that inwardly blind...

[Not ALASTAIR's biggest fan, even if she was grateful for certain things they had done for her.]

[ex_adept136]

Point taken. Whichever the case is, it doesn't seem particularly encouraging.

[Either they're ignorant of the harm they do to their stated purpose, or they intend it to be this way. Neither would be a very good thing.

And yet the more he hears the more these seem like the two standing possibilities]

[grunehexe]

No, it is not. We serve, and they occasionally grant us motivations or gifts to serve, but not because of fealty... most of us, as I understand it, are simply... waiting to go home.

[ex_adept136]

It does seem a problem when people aren't here of their own choosing...

[Granted, most CCG operatives were orphans taken in and raised by them after losing their family to ghouls, but even then, it was much more a choice than ALASTAIR seems to have given them]

I'm happy to help where I may, but... I've heard some were torn from very important matters they needed to settle.

[grunehexe]

Indeed.

[She bites her bottom lip, looking away briefly.]

I have pressing matters of my own- and with all that happens... my field of study is not time. Will we return the exact moment we departed? Or will it be like a faerie ring, where it seems to be days but when we make our homecoming years and years have passed?

[ex_adept136]

[That...he hadn't actually considered himself, and there's a flicker of unguarded concern before he catches himself.

The flow of time may indeed be different, especially considering their travels take them to different planets entirely. What's brief for them really may not be at all for their homes]

Safe to surmise they've never clarified this either... No wonder people are so concerned.

[grunehexe]

Perhaps to others... but not to me. Not in a way I trust.

[She's sort of used to being lied to.]

[ex_adept136]

[That introduction to their circumstances is something of a blur now, but, thinking back in it...]

It's true they haven't offered us proof, though I'd hope our contributions would be valued enough when we were pressed in to service this way.

[grunehexe]

Providing they prove to be magnanimous in nature, yes. I hope so as well.

[Being only able to hope, though-]

[ex_adept136]

Being faced with uncertainty is like looking into a void, I know...

[Those words aren't a simple platitude, either. They're borne of raw experience, though he wouldn't admit to just what that experience is.

He's spoken so little of it, back home]

[grunehexe]

We survive until then, teetering on the void. I apologize to greet you with such darkness, but I am afraid that is all there is to it.

[As much as she hates it... she has to accept it. They all do- maybe. She can lose herself in her studies, in the joy she can take from others... but it all returns to this.]

[ex_adept136]

[He shakes his head.

A void's been looking back at him for as long as he can recall - this void is simply of a different nature]

No, if anything, I appreciate your frankness on these matters. I'd rather know the reality than otherwise. And, if nothing else, none of us are alone.

[grunehexe]

That is true- there are those worth making into comrades here among our number.

[Some... not as much, but.]

It is for the best to speak frankly, I find.

[ex_adept136]

Agreed. I'd rather difficult truths over pretty lies.

[Those truths tend to surface, no matter how one might bury them]

Better to understand things for what they are.

[grunehexe]

[Once you find out your whole life is a lie, you tend to start hating lies in general.]

Well, it is good to see another recruit with a decent head on their shoulders. We could use that in all this turmoil.

[ex_adept136]

[Sounds about right. Replace hate with manpain at and he can +1]

I'll hope not to disappoint. Honestly...I think if my associates were here, they'd have similar sentiments about the lack of disclosure, among other things.

[grunehexe]

[Let's get some +1'ing up in here]

What sort of work do you do, you and your associates?

[ex_adept136]

[+1 for more fun]

Investigation and enforcement, if I were to use the most succinct terms.