futurology | VIDEO; UN: HAWKEYE

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VIDEO; UN: HAWKEYE

[Instead of any person, the scene presently on the screen is of a backpack lying in the snow, overflowing with child leashes in a variety of different colors and patterns. The voice that pipes up has about as much warmth as the chill tundra wind and is just loud enough to cut through the continued wailing of infant squidges nearby.]

It appears that some of our superiors question our ability to properly watch over these small creatures.

[Though if the delivery was sent in earnest rather than as a practical joke, she can't say she disagrees with the assessment, at least not with regards to a certain subsection of Team Audentes. (Fortune might favor the bold, but it certainly won't favor anyone lacking basic common sense as far as she's concerned.)

Regardless, she presses on.]

While I should hope that none of you will need one at the moment [judging u if you put a leash on ur infant squidge tbh] some of you may find them necessary at a later point in this mission. There seem to be enough for each recruit to have one.

[Unfortunately.

A brief pause follows, enough time for a resigned sigh.]

With that said, if you are concerned about caring for a living being, I'm sure there are several of us willing to provide advice.

(ooc: i bought a bunch of child leashes as an ac reward as i was completely out of ideas, feel free to handwave your character grabbed one.)

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[Well....]

Ah, pretty easily? I figure I could probably just tear the leash bits off.

[Yes.]

[..................Huh. She remembers meeting him in person, definitely doesn't remember seeing bulging muscles under rolled up sleeves. (But then, Ramir hadn't been in possession of any either and she'd certainly had inhuman strength.)

Regardless, it's kind enough of him to make the offer in the first place.]

If you wouldn't mind. There don't seem to be too many of them here.

[It's true, he honestly looks like somebody you could knock over with a solid punch. Which is where most people trying to get him in a fight make their first (and generally last) crucial mistake...but really, the strength's all just. You know. Very, very condensed.

And more than enough to peel a few leashes from their cute animal harnesses, Shizuo figures.]

Yeah, it wouldn't be a problem. Doubt I'm going to have anything better to do for awhile. [He shrugs.] Want me to take care of them now, even? Unless you want to wait for people who want leashes first?

[At that, she shakes here head.]

There are plenty left, even discounting the ones with animals attached.

[Plus, she's still hoping to god that not everyone on the team is in need of one.]

I'd appreciate it though. If you let me know where you are, I'll bring them over.

Right, that's fine then. Ah...

[Where he is?? That's a good question, actually...city life woes: you're a lot more used to identifying your whereabouts by street and building names. Out here in the middle of nowhere though...]

You know, I'm not sure exactly where I am right now? It's in the general camp area, but...here, maybe I can just show you on this thing, would that help? [And he...holds the jewelry up over his head, rotating it a few times for a wide general sweep of the area. Helpful y/n?!]

[Y!!

His uncertainty's enough to bring a quick smile to her lips, here and gone like the tundra winds.]

I can use the map to find you. [And the handy dandy location pins on them that's saved her ass more than once.] As long as you don't move around too much, it shouldn't be difficult.

Oh, okay. [Lowers the jewelry!! Very faintly but visibly glad that it was at least a little helpful, anyway.] We'll just stay put here, in that case. Take however long you need, huh?

[And by 'we' he means himself and his squidge, of course, still tucked just below the feed and quietly staring at the proceedings with wide eyes. Shizuo nods, sitting back wherever he is as if for emphasis.]

[ . . . ]

Yeah?? I think so?

[ She sounds so unsure of that, but at least she's pulled it from underneath her jacket, and now it's trying to climb her arm. ]

I mean it's alive, isn't it?

Yes!

I might actually need two!!

I guess that's true. I haven't actually looked after a baby before.

[But really, given her age, most probably don't expect her to have done so. She's still a bit young yet even for babysitting, let alone such young infants as newborns.]

[?????????????????? She's so flabbergasted she can only echo his words.]

'Two'?

[Ooooooooh boy.]

Has it been sleeping and eating well?

[He gets a nod in reply before her end goes dark. The camp isn't all too large but with a squidge, two backpacks, and a dog in two (who, thankfully, is capable of walking himself at a reasonable speed) the journey still ends up taking a good fifteen minutes. When she does finally arrive, Shizuo gets a quick nod of greeting.]

Thank you for offering to do this.

[It's a better use of these things (in her mind) than their actual purpose.]

[The feed cuts, and Shizuo settles to wait; he and his squidge have ended up sitting near one of the larger fires in the camp, which probably goes a long way to helping Riza locate them now. It's also warm right here, at the very least, so the fifteen minute wait is hardly an issue.

Spotting a familiar face approaching at length, Shizuo pulls himself to his feet to greet her properly. He's layered a couple pieces of the ALASTAIR uniform over his bartender's suit (and it honestly probably looks pretty silly...but it's warm!! whatever), squidge tucked underneath in his waistcoat, its head poking up under his bowtie to stare at these proceedings. Shizuo tips his head a bit in return at the nod of greeting, mouth quirking for a moment around his unlit cigarette at the sight of the bags and...oh, a dog. Another dog?? Just how many people have dogs around here, anyway?]

Uh--yeah, like I said. It's not a problem. [Tearing his attention away from the dog before the pause gets too awkward, ah. Aki babbles something equally even in tone but utterly unintelligible at the new squidge in vicinity; Shizuo pats at it gingerly.] Shouldn't take too long either, hopefully...how many of those leashes did they actually give you, anyway?

( a leash... for babies... well, he's not going to take one, but he can appreciate the forethought behind it. )

Yeah, it seems there's a great number of us willing to help out. No squidge left behind, we can handle this.

I'm not letting it, that's not— [ the problem right now. Or well, he'd let it by neglect, which he's just as much at fault for, but at least he's trying to correct it early on. ]

[ Now the thing's slumped in his arms like a dead fish, emitting one long sad continuous note. What a drama queen. ]

Not really, he's gotten real good at ignoring me now that he knows what's in the bag, and I haven't really found anything to... [ A thought occurs. ] Wait, aren't some of those leashes kinda like stuffed animals?

[Well, points for effort. She's really not doing much better, her own squidge wouldn't eat for the better part of four hours.

But as a matter of fact:]

Someone's helping me separate the animal portions from the leash portion so that we might be able to use them as toys. Did you want one?

[(Hey man, hers was the original dog.)

The babble from Shizuo's squidge is met with a low trill from Riza's own; nothing quite like seeing one's closest of kin (at least when compared to two-legged humans and four-legged dogs) to cheer a baby squidge up.

As for the question...Riza lets the extra backpack fall to the snowy ground, nose wrinkling.]

Too many. [But actual numbers might help, so she sifts through the bag with a free hand.] I'm guessing there's more than enough for all of us.

[Sakura's barely more than a child herself. She ought to be doing other things than being forced into being a pseudo-parent for a sentient blob of jello.]

Do you need any help with yours?

[Peter gets a quick flash of a smile for being someone she actually likes. (He's kind, after all, and fairly bright overall.)]

Did you find many people willing to babysit?

_{[ there's a chuff of laughter, mainly from amusement. Wow, Riza. This rudeness.
He.. cannot argue with that, though. ]}

... Yeah. Guess I'll take one of those.
_{[ SO HE JUST GOES WITH IT. ]}

[Look, she's had a long day. Also, Gintoki probably deserves it. There's an open look of disapproval on her face but she did step up to the plate to offer these...]

Do you know how to use one properly?

[If he's really gonna be using one, he better at least do it the right way.]

Can't say I blame 'em much for questioning it.

[She's not asking for a leash. That's a plus.]

It certainly makes you wonder what sorts of attributes they look for when recruiting us, doesn't it?

[That's more of an explanation that she expects to receive in reply to a line that she'd spoken mostly out of weariness. Hard to tell over black words on a screen the reasoning behind it though, or even any emotion associated with it.]

I have little experience with gods outside of Nalanni. [And Loki, she supposed belatedly.] If you would like to convince me otherwise, I'm more than willing to listen.

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VIDEO; UN: HAWKEYE

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