VIDEO; UN: HAWKEYE

[strictdiscipline]

[Instead of any person, the scene presently on the screen is of a backpack lying in the snow, overflowing with child leashes in a variety of different colors and patterns. The voice that pipes up has about as much warmth as the chill tundra wind and is just loud enough to cut through the continued wailing of infant squidges nearby.]

It appears that some of our superiors question our ability to properly watch over these small creatures.

[Though if the delivery was sent in earnest rather than as a practical joke, she can't say she disagrees with the assessment, at least not with regards to a certain subsection of Team Audentes. (Fortune might favor the bold, but it certainly won't favor anyone lacking basic common sense as far as she's concerned.)

Regardless, she presses on.]

While I should hope that none of you will need one at the moment [judging u if you put a leash on ur infant squidge tbh] some of you may find them necessary at a later point in this mission. There seem to be enough for each recruit to have one.

[Unfortunately.

A brief pause follows, enough time for a resigned sigh.]

With that said, if you are concerned about caring for a living being, I'm sure there are several of us willing to provide advice.

(ooc: i bought a bunch of child leashes as an ac reward as i was completely out of ideas, feel free to handwave your character grabbed one.)

Comments

video; bless you friend...

[aspearation]

Yeah! They should totally trust us more!

[ Ah. Hahah. Yeah... ]

Hey, might as well use them if we have them though, right? Better safe than sorry?!

video; i'm here for you guys....

[strictdiscipline]

[She doesn't quite crack a smile at Undyne's reply, though her expression softens.]

I suppose that is true. No one's squidge will wander away if they have one of these.

[Hopefully. She's praying for that. (Her face does wrinkle at the word 'squidge' but it clears quick enough, replaced by curiosity.)]

How is yours doing so far?

video, un: shirogane

[regiment]

(eying the leashes, wondering why in the quiznak people would ever need one for such docile aliens.)

... I guess common sense isn't that common any more.

video

[strictdiscipline]

[you and her both, buddy]

ALASTAIR seems to have lowered their standards during recruitment of this team. [There's a brief pause here, punctuated by the sound of continued wailing.] Assuming they had any standards to begin with.

text | un: beloved

[dailydouble]

This seems like an extreme measure. Who would leash a child?

text;

[strictdiscipline]

Someone with no grasp on how to properly parent a child. Or someone who equates children with animals.

[Either way, not great.]

video. un: schbrodingers cat

[12inches]

Jeez, did they send any aloe to go with that burn..?

[ He says as if he's not exactly part of the target audience for this backhanded shipment. ]

[ ... ]

[ There's definitely a lot of high-pitched high-octane fussing going on off-camera, because he's not looking at it anymore, he's shooting a long string of no no no nos down to his right and lunging for something. ]

So uh, you wouldn't happen to be one of those several, huh?

video;

[strictdiscipline]

[Sigma.......

Not that Riza's doing much better, her own jello baby's wails forming a veritable chorus with Sigma's, but at least she's got hold of the thing. (And to the be fair, the shrills are quieting, just...slowly.)]

I've never raised a child myself and I'd never planned on it but I can try. [At the very least, she can tell you what not to do.] What do you need help with?

video; un: heiwa

[longtempered]

[Pictured: both Shizuo and the squidge tucked under his chin peering quizzically into the feed.]

What...those look like leashes, though? Aren't those usually for dogs?

video;

[strictdiscipline]

They are leashes. Apparently someone thinks some of us are willing to treat children like dogs.

[Hence the problem she's having with all of this.]

[ VOICE; ] UN: FruitsParfaitSamurai

[jumpfesta]

Yadda, yadda, yadda. Geeze. Give it a rest, Riza-san.
_{[ a lazy, slurring voice is heard out of Riza's jewelry. ]}

You're trying to make us all look bad again, ah, aren't you?
_{[ honestly. You're a tough girl and you've got motherly instincts? Well, that's what Gintoki thinks, anyway. That's what he thinks this is all about. ]}

voice

[strictdiscipline]

You all seem to be perfectly capable of managing such a feat even without my interference.

[Please, feel free to disagree.]

video | un: evan

[evantuality]

[Evan appears in response, making a clear and petty noise of utter frustration.]

Is somebody back at headquarters trying to be funny? Would one of those even hold an organism made of flexible gel? I mean my cat back home won't even brook a collar, and I'm relatively certain at this point that these things are smarter than a cat.

Good lord! They couldn't have sent something actually useful, like, I don't know, whatever you call those frontward baby backpacks. Ugh.

video;

[strictdiscipline]

The ratio of useful gifts to absolutely ridiculous ones I've received has been about equal. But if you ask nicely, they might be willing to deliver a shipment.

[Assuming he's serious and not just making the comparison. It's hard to tell right now, with so much of the camp in a mild state of panic.]

I'd much prefer extra food supplies though.

video; un: sakurakinomoto

[keystaff]

L-leashes.....? But they aren't dogs?

[She doesn't even use a lead for Keroberos. She probably should consider the idea as he gets bigger though, more likely to pretty much run off on his own. At which point it would be more like him leading her around with it as the lion grows.

But the squidges? Okay so they can be kind of curious, but still. Sakura hadn't considered resorting to something like this.]

video;

[strictdiscipline]

They aren't, but I'm sure some people will end up treating them like dogs.

[Which is unfortunate, to say the least, and something she'd like to try and prevent. (But if push comes to shove and it's between treating the squidges like dogs in order to keep an eye on them or losing them entirely, she'd still opt for the former.)]

I'm sure most of them don't mean to be cruel. They just have no experience in how to handle children.

video; un: coolskeleton95

[boneafide]

I want one!!

video;

[strictdiscipline]

[PAPYRUS.........]

Are you planning on using it right now?

VIDEO - un: p. parker

[webdesigned]

( a leash... for babies... well, he's not going to take one, but he can appreciate the forethought behind it. )

Yeah, it seems there's a great number of us willing to help out. No squidge left behind, we can handle this.

[strictdiscipline]

[Peter gets a quick flash of a smile for being someone she actually likes. (He's kind, after all, and fairly bright overall.)]

Did you find many people willing to babysit?

[Video | un: tsukuyo]

[sekimorinashi]

Can't say I blame 'em much for questioning it.

[strictdiscipline]

[She's not asking for a leash. That's a plus.]

It certainly makes you wonder what sorts of attributes they look for when recruiting us, doesn't it?

(Voice | UN: courtesy)

[stonebird]

(She frowns at the idea of...restraining a child.) That seems cruel. Children are not animals.

(Though, now that she thinks about it, a leash might have helped her with Sweetrobin.)

I shall endeavor not to use one. (Until her patience gives out.)

voice;

[strictdiscipline]

[Ah good, someone else who's sane around here.]

I'm glad to hear that. [In the meantime:] Have you been having any difficulty with yours thus far?

( audio | un: skywalker )

[apoptotic]

I'll take whatever surplus you have off your hands. I think I can find better use for them.

[ like rope in case of rope-necessitating incidents.

also one to threaten luke vaguely with because anakin is a good dad (tm). ]

[strictdiscipline]

[don't set a poor example for your squidge, anakin!!!]

We've taken apart some of them, but you're welcome to the leash-like parts.

What are you planning on using them for?