VIDEO; 001 | ID: I CAN B UR DADDY

[moneyballer]

[The video feed turns on to feature a well-groomed man in his mid twenties, who at this point attempts to present his meanest mug to the network. He seems to think that this is actually a good idea, despite everything that went down in the desert. As far as he’s concerned, he has reason to celebrate- Asher, a mere mortal with little to no survival skills, somehow managed to make it through the meteor shower and protect the little alien he’s been assigned to.]

‘Sup bodacious babes. Homie-g’s. Haters.

[He does a little nod to the camera, playing it as “”””cool”””” as he can.]

I was thinkin’, since we’re out saving the universe n’ all… We could use something cool as like an intro, a theme song, y’know?

Something funky fresh. Like a fresh ass beat!

[He clasps his hands together, spitting into them with great enthusiasm but a slight lack of coordination.]

Yo, yo, yo, A-Milly in the hizzzz-house!

Milly as in a million, always stuntin’ like a-

[Asher pauses here, looking a little confused. He blinks once or twice, as if he’s trying to remember something important.]

Vill-i-ain? Um, I’m still working on the intro. Anyway-

[Clearing his throat, he continues on. The interference is probably making this transmission even worse (if that’s possible, can it really get any more embarrassing than this?).]

We up in here, we in the zone
Ready to take care of all yo’ homes,
Don’t matter if it’s outer space, cause we gon put them bad guys in their pl-AAYYYYYCE-

[He ends enthusiastically, but freezes mid-air. It seems as though he’s considering saying something else, but his shoulders drop and he shrugs.]

Uh, yeah. That’s all I got? But I think it has potential. Anyway, um, if anybody wants to like… Help me finish or whatever.

Hit me up, mothafuckaaaaaa.

Comments

[heavyhitter]

[ asher why are you inventing a race of ass people, why. she pauses to look a little incredulous, but nods ]

Yeah, sure. We'll go with that.

[moneyballer]

[He can feel the lull in conversation, and while he'd like to continue talking, especially because he's been feeling lonely for the past few days...]

Ummmmm, anyway.

Thank you.

[He nods in Ramir's direction. For what? The conversation?

Maybe.]

I'll get used to it, I guess.

[In some ways, this feels better than home.]

[heavyhitter]

What, your ass people? Or broadening your horizons? Good, either way. Gonna be tough to get by here otherwise.

[moneyballer]

[Tough.

Something he very clearly is not. There's that worried look on his face again.]

I don't know, honestly.

[He laughs timidly at that.]

I'll see you later then, I guess. Um, what's your name?

[heavyhitter]

Ana Ramir, call me Ramir. Also call me if you need anything.

[moneyballer]

[!!!!

He perks up at that.]

Really...?

[Asher pauses, as if to clarify.]

You're not just saying that?

[heavyhitter]

Uh, yeah, obviously. We're a team here.

[moneyballer]

[What a strange notion, working together for the sake of it. Middleton Law is anything but that, and he's spent so much time trying to prove himself, to be the best at something, that at first he is not quite sure what to do with this information, and it shows in his face.

Still, there are more than a few people who have proved friendly and well-intentioned, more than he knew back home. This isn't what he signed up for, this isn't what he wanted to do exactly...

But it isn't something he knew was possible for himself either.]

Uhhhh, yeah! Okay.

I'll do that. It was, heh-

[Why does he feel timid, all of a sudden?]

It was nice to meet you. Thanks for being so chill.