asher fuckboy millstone (
moneyballer) wrote in
futurology2016-08-09 08:04 am
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VIDEO; 001 | ID: I CAN B UR DADDY
[The video feed turns on to feature a well-groomed man in his mid twenties, who at this point attempts to present his meanest mug to the network. He seems to think that this is actually a good idea, despite everything that went down in the desert. As far as he’s concerned, he has reason to celebrate- Asher, a mere mortal with little to no survival skills, somehow managed to make it through the meteor shower and protect the little alien he’s been assigned to.]
‘Sup bodacious babes. Homie-g’s. Haters.
[He does a little nod to the camera, playing it as “”””cool”””” as he can.]
I was thinkin’, since we’re out saving the universe n’ all… We could use something cool as like an intro, a theme song, y’know?
Something funky fresh. Like a fresh ass beat!
[He clasps his hands together, spitting into them with great enthusiasm but a slight lack of coordination.]
Yo, yo, yo, A-Milly in the hizzzz-house!
Milly as in a million, always stuntin’ like a-
[Asher pauses here, looking a little confused. He blinks once or twice, as if he’s trying to remember something important.]
Vill-i-ain? Um, I’m still working on the intro. Anyway-
[Clearing his throat, he continues on. The interference is probably making this transmission even worse (if that’s possible, can it really get any more embarrassing than this?).]
We up in here, we in the zone
Ready to take care of all yo’ homes,
Don’t matter if it’s outer space, cause we gon put them bad guys in their pl-AAYYYYYCE-
[He ends enthusiastically, but freezes mid-air. It seems as though he’s considering saying something else, but his shoulders drop and he shrugs.]
Uh, yeah. That’s all I got? But I think it has potential. Anyway, um, if anybody wants to like… Help me finish or whatever.
Hit me up, mothafuckaaaaaa.
‘Sup bodacious babes. Homie-g’s. Haters.
[He does a little nod to the camera, playing it as “”””cool”””” as he can.]
I was thinkin’, since we’re out saving the universe n’ all… We could use something cool as like an intro, a theme song, y’know?
Something funky fresh. Like a fresh ass beat!
[He clasps his hands together, spitting into them with great enthusiasm but a slight lack of coordination.]
Yo, yo, yo, A-Milly in the hizzzz-house!
Milly as in a million, always stuntin’ like a-
[Asher pauses here, looking a little confused. He blinks once or twice, as if he’s trying to remember something important.]
Vill-i-ain? Um, I’m still working on the intro. Anyway-
[Clearing his throat, he continues on. The interference is probably making this transmission even worse (if that’s possible, can it really get any more embarrassing than this?).]
We up in here, we in the zone
Ready to take care of all yo’ homes,
Don’t matter if it’s outer space, cause we gon put them bad guys in their pl-AAYYYYYCE-
[He ends enthusiastically, but freezes mid-air. It seems as though he’s considering saying something else, but his shoulders drop and he shrugs.]
Uh, yeah. That’s all I got? But I think it has potential. Anyway, um, if anybody wants to like… Help me finish or whatever.
Hit me up, mothafuckaaaaaa.
text
it's people like you that really ought to just drown in the pool of your own stupidity cause you make enough of that to do something like that
your brain is like something at a resell shop, really crusty and barely functional
no subject
u mad, bro?
[DON't MEME AT HIM
IT WILL ONL Y MAKE THINGS WORSE]
no subject
yeah i am mad BRO
does anything in the sentences i've sent you indicate i'm not mad???
just shut up and die. we don't need anymore people like you here.
[ implying there are more people like you..... ]
no subject
[Asher sighs. At least he's played enough video games to deal with this kind of hater.]
slow ur roll homeboy
ok, ok! i get it ur pissed
fine, everybody iz titled 2 their own opinion
butt like? could u cool it with the death threats??? some ppl r like
actually sad or whatever
[Depressed, he means depressed.]
so just
no need 2 get so crazy
no subject
what you're trying to say is that you're a sad person and you don't want to admit it.. right..
[ Gintoki knows what it's like to be a sad person, and the first thing you do is not act defensive when somebody hurts your feelings. ]
no subject
[Translation: Yes.]
im just sayin that mayb some ppl r! b careful
no subject
no subject
some ppl r
u kno!!! like, they take medication for that kinda stuff
just... lookin out ok no need 2 make it weird
like im fine butt, layoff the dyin n shit aite... thats just
language, dude