asher fuckboy millstone (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
moneyballer) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
futurology2016-08-09 08:04 am
moneyballer) wrote in futurology2016-08-09 08:04 am
VIDEO; 001 | ID: I CAN B UR DADDY
[The video feed turns on to feature a well-groomed man in his mid twenties, who at this point attempts to present his meanest mug to the network. He seems to think that this is actually a good idea, despite everything that went down in the desert. As far as he’s concerned, he has reason to celebrate- Asher, a mere mortal with little to no survival skills, somehow managed to make it through the meteor shower and protect the little alien he’s been assigned to.]
‘Sup bodacious babes. Homie-g’s. Haters.
[He does a little nod to the camera, playing it as “”””cool”””” as he can.]
I was thinkin’, since we’re out saving the universe n’ all… We could use something cool as like an intro, a theme song, y’know?
Something funky fresh. Like a fresh ass beat!
[He clasps his hands together, spitting into them with great enthusiasm but a slight lack of coordination.]
Yo, yo, yo, A-Milly in the hizzzz-house!
Milly as in a million, always stuntin’ like a-
[Asher pauses here, looking a little confused. He blinks once or twice, as if he’s trying to remember something important.]
Vill-i-ain? Um, I’m still working on the intro. Anyway-
[Clearing his throat, he continues on. The interference is probably making this transmission even worse (if that’s possible, can it really get any more embarrassing than this?).]
We up in here, we in the zone
Ready to take care of all yo’ homes,
Don’t matter if it’s outer space, cause we gon put them bad guys in their pl-AAYYYYYCE-
[He ends enthusiastically, but freezes mid-air. It seems as though he’s considering saying something else, but his shoulders drop and he shrugs.]
Uh, yeah. That’s all I got? But I think it has potential. Anyway, um, if anybody wants to like… Help me finish or whatever.
Hit me up, mothafuckaaaaaa.
‘Sup bodacious babes. Homie-g’s. Haters.
[He does a little nod to the camera, playing it as “”””cool”””” as he can.]
I was thinkin’, since we’re out saving the universe n’ all… We could use something cool as like an intro, a theme song, y’know?
Something funky fresh. Like a fresh ass beat!
[He clasps his hands together, spitting into them with great enthusiasm but a slight lack of coordination.]
Yo, yo, yo, A-Milly in the hizzzz-house!
Milly as in a million, always stuntin’ like a-
[Asher pauses here, looking a little confused. He blinks once or twice, as if he’s trying to remember something important.]
Vill-i-ain? Um, I’m still working on the intro. Anyway-
[Clearing his throat, he continues on. The interference is probably making this transmission even worse (if that’s possible, can it really get any more embarrassing than this?).]
We up in here, we in the zone
Ready to take care of all yo’ homes,
Don’t matter if it’s outer space, cause we gon put them bad guys in their pl-AAYYYYYCE-
[He ends enthusiastically, but freezes mid-air. It seems as though he’s considering saying something else, but his shoulders drop and he shrugs.]
Uh, yeah. That’s all I got? But I think it has potential. Anyway, um, if anybody wants to like… Help me finish or whatever.
Hit me up, mothafuckaaaaaa.
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[ He doesn't know why they need to redo this, but hey, if Asher wants to, he doesn't have a problem with it. ]
My name is The Great Papyrus!
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[A strange name, but not stranger than the fact that he's talking to a living, breathing (?) skeleton.]
Okay. I'm Asher.
[This could not be any more awkward.
Oh, wait. He could be naked.]
It's nice to meet you.
[He squints.]
I think.
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Papyrus seems fairly pleasant, but very peculiar. Asher isn't entirely sure what to expect.]
Yes?
[Please be gentle...
His marshmallow-y rich boy bottom can't take any more abuse. (it sure can, fire away)]
no subject
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Do you mean kill as in, figuratively, or...
[This is alarming.]
Straight up murder?
no subject
But yes I mean it like that.
no subject
He should probably inquire as to what the dangerous gentleman in question looks like so it will be easy to identify him, but the thought that someone would go so far as to kill someone just for speaking the wrong words...
That puts things in perspective, certainly.]
Kolitra, got it.
Sure.
[It doesn't look like Asher wants to talk anymore.]
Thanks.