VIDEO; 001 | ID: I CAN B UR DADDY

[moneyballer]

[The video feed turns on to feature a well-groomed man in his mid twenties, who at this point attempts to present his meanest mug to the network. He seems to think that this is actually a good idea, despite everything that went down in the desert. As far as he’s concerned, he has reason to celebrate- Asher, a mere mortal with little to no survival skills, somehow managed to make it through the meteor shower and protect the little alien he’s been assigned to.]

‘Sup bodacious babes. Homie-g’s. Haters.

[He does a little nod to the camera, playing it as “”””cool”””” as he can.]

I was thinkin’, since we’re out saving the universe n’ all… We could use something cool as like an intro, a theme song, y’know?

Something funky fresh. Like a fresh ass beat!

[He clasps his hands together, spitting into them with great enthusiasm but a slight lack of coordination.]

Yo, yo, yo, A-Milly in the hizzzz-house!

Milly as in a million, always stuntin’ like a-

[Asher pauses here, looking a little confused. He blinks once or twice, as if he’s trying to remember something important.]

Vill-i-ain? Um, I’m still working on the intro. Anyway-

[Clearing his throat, he continues on. The interference is probably making this transmission even worse (if that’s possible, can it really get any more embarrassing than this?).]

We up in here, we in the zone
Ready to take care of all yo’ homes,
Don’t matter if it’s outer space, cause we gon put them bad guys in their pl-AAYYYYYCE-

[He ends enthusiastically, but freezes mid-air. It seems as though he’s considering saying something else, but his shoulders drop and he shrugs.]

Uh, yeah. That’s all I got? But I think it has potential. Anyway, um, if anybody wants to like… Help me finish or whatever.

Hit me up, mothafuckaaaaaa.

Comments

sry 4 this

[moneyballer]

I'm not a judge!

[He feels the need to interject, even though he really shouldn't be speaking.

Classic Asher, tbh.]

That's my-

[What begins as an impulse manifests itself as a bad decision in his mind, because he doesn't need to say that. His father is the judge, the one who worked his way up the ladder, although Asher isn't sure what to think of that now.

The steps Judge Millstone took as he climbed higher and higher were not so honest.]

I'm studying to be a lawyer, okay? I'm not there yet.

[winces]

[ she does not seem too terribly pleased with his interruption, but her curiosity is getting the better of her... ]

And what is a lawyer?

[moneyballer]

They don't exist in your world either?

[Olivia is dating Achilles, who is definitely fucking ancient, and she has no knowledge of hip-hop. Her world is probably an archaic one, or at the very least, quite different from the home he knows.

Asher's jaw drops slightly, and he looks at the ground before looking back up at the camera. Breathing in and then out again, he is beginning to understand that this explanation is one he may be giving fairly frequently.]

Soooo where I'm from... If you get convicted of something, like a crime, you can go to a court. There's a judge and group of people from the community usually, and they vote to decide if you're guilty or not.

[He turns his head to the side, pausing to think before continuing.]

A lawyer is the person you hire to represent you. So, they defend people and keep them from going to jail, and that's the job.

[Asher utters the following words as if he's reminding himself of what the profession means.]

Standing up for people, basically.

[winces]

[ she looks... rather dubious, actually. it is certainly a noble-sounding profession, but olivia finds herself struggling to make the connection between that... and the man who had rather directly indirectly insulted her just moments earlier.

then again, she is a dancer, and one might say her typical demeanor outside of the stage has no relation to such a profession.

in any case, she nods in understanding. ]

I see. I know now what that man had meant when he mentioned expecting something different from you.

[moneyballer]

[Ugh, disappointment.

He averts his eyes at that, mostly because he knows that face, it's familiar. This happens all the time, no matter what he tries to do to escape it-]

Yeah.

[But is he trying hard enough?]

I know. I've got a long way to go.

[He is sorry, though.

He really screwed everything up.]

[winces]

[ she looks away, too, out of propriety, knowing personally how private a moment it is when one criticizes oneself. ]

...Good luck with it, [ she says, and though she is still quite reserved regarding him, there is undoubtedly sincerity in her words. ]