( video | un: 10-65 )

[construing]

[ on-screen: ( 1 ) gwen stacy, a completely normal college student, wide-eyed, frowning. this is serious. a tragedy in motion. ]

I know we're all busy what with smashing bugs, do they even still count as bugs when you can spike them like a football? [ gwen stacy, asking the tough questions, ] but I have an emergency. See this? [ she holds up a cell phone in front of her face. the background reads "THE MARY JANES." the eagle-eyed will note the battery symbol in the corner: warning red. ]

This is my life. Not only is it my life, it's sitting at less than 10% charge so if I don’t get a charger for it pronto, I will literally die.

[ """""""literally.""""""" ]

Somebody has to have one. Help me, Samsung-Juan, whoever you are. You're my only hope.

[ other people have questions starting with "how" and "why" and "what the actual f—" gwen stacy, however, has #priorities. ]

Comments

[figureitout]

Yeah, well, I'd refuse too, except they're not exactly big on this whole consent thing.

[ Such is the life in ALASTAIR... you get baseball bats without asking, but somehow proper phone management is way too hard. ]

But, I mean, maybe someone has some kind of charger and you can still access your stuff? If you can, I'm so coming over to listen to music, okay, my phone's in pieces for science and the only music I've seen around here was this old cd with music from, like, the 50s. [ IT WAS HORRIBLE. please imagine this and shudder along with him. ]

[construing]

Oh my God. [ how are you alive, stiles. how are you alive right now. ]

Okay, I'm asking around. The minute I get one, I'll let you know. This kind of cruel and unusual punishment cannot stand.

[figureitout]

[ SOMETIMES HE'S WONDERING THE VERY SAME THING ]

Thanks, you're a literal lifesaver, actual hero. Odes will be written about your arrival.

[construing]

[ /POPS COLLAR ]

It's what I do, random citizen.

[ because it is. in fact. what she does. she's hilarious. ]

What's your name?

[figureitout]

Stiles, Stiles Stilinski. And for the love of god, don't say anything about that, okay, I swear I've heard it all.

[ And that's not even getting to his actual first name... ]

And you? I mean, I could just write the ode to "the blonde Samsung girl", or maybe "probably not Mary Jane", but it sounds better when you have, you know, an actual name.

[construing]

[ gwen fake shudders. ] Please not Mary Jane.

[ she loves you, mj. you make it really hard to love you some days. but she loves you. ]

I'm Gwen Stacy. Gwendolyn if you want the formal lit points, but only my dad calls me that so.

[figureitout]

Well, hey, I did say "probably not"!

[ Also, please excuse him while his eyes widen a fraction -- just enough that it's still easy to turn into an eye roll, hoping that it masks the surprise and stops any possible questions about the "why". ]

Ugh, no, let's just leave the formal lit stuff to your dad, okay? Gwen's good.

[construing]

[ if she takes notice, she says nothing. ]

Good choice. Minute I get a charger, I'll text you.