( video | un: 10-65 )

[construing]

[ on-screen: ( 1 ) gwen stacy, a completely normal college student, wide-eyed, frowning. this is serious. a tragedy in motion. ]

I know we're all busy what with smashing bugs, do they even still count as bugs when you can spike them like a football? [ gwen stacy, asking the tough questions, ] but I have an emergency. See this? [ she holds up a cell phone in front of her face. the background reads "THE MARY JANES." the eagle-eyed will note the battery symbol in the corner: warning red. ]

This is my life. Not only is it my life, it's sitting at less than 10% charge so if I don’t get a charger for it pronto, I will literally die.

[ """""""literally.""""""" ]

Somebody has to have one. Help me, Samsung-Juan, whoever you are. You're my only hope.

[ other people have questions starting with "how" and "why" and "what the actual f—" gwen stacy, however, has #priorities. ]

Comments

[construing]

Don't tell me sorcerers don't come with friends and family plans.

[ she was rooting for you, they were all rooting for you. ]

[selfimage]

On the contrary, sorcerers are the only ones that come with multiversally unlimited friends and family plans. It's like stealing cable, only you don't have to seduce the cable guy.

[construing]

Ew. Your material needs updating too.

[selfimage]

Not all of us can get free HBO, I see.

[construing]

Some of us stream anything we want — for free — online. [ js. ]

[selfimage]

They monitor that, you know.

[construing]

Your nebulous "they" is going to run out of prison space immediately then. Besides, aren't you a sorcerer? What are you afraid of?

[selfimage]

If they decide to toss away the key, perhaps. I'm a bit more than just a sorcerer, and there are some of us out there that would rather not call needless attention to ourselves unless we want to.

[ truth be told? he steals everything regardless of the bs that's coming out of his mouth. ]

[construing]

[ as it turns out she ain't buying a word he's spewing. ]

Says the guy wearing the golden horns. You wanna try that again?

[selfimage]

I also have an invisible coat, I think that evens it out. You could say the diadem is a cultural thing.

[construing]

[ uh-huh. ]

Well, I have a charger to pick up so cultural talks will have to wait.

[selfimage]

Not many want the cultural talks.

[ but he sounds more amused than not. ]