username: butterfly (video, post event)

[digophelia]

[ If it sounds like Alice is daycare, there's a good reason for it. She looks a little tired and very confused. There's a good number of children around her and one decides to plop themselves on her lap.

Oh. Okay. Fine. Deep breaths. ]

Hello, there. Can you stand, just for a minute? It shan't take long, then you can sit in my lap all you want.

[ She shoos him along. Alice heaves a deep sigh, holding her face.] ]

For a small minute, I thought I was back in London. Possibly because I have been around a large number of children, this many, with same limited resources.

I suppose my question is, is there a particular reason why I came back to over a dozen or so children? Not that I mind it, although I wouldn't be opposed to having a bigger space.

[ Yes, when did this happen? Alice has forgotten some tidbits of that fight, after all. ]

Comments

[regida]

[ that’s something she’s wanted to hear for awhile. a kind of absolution—that no one can be a good judge of character when pressed against a wall. she had trusted the wrong person, and still blames herself for it. had been in the middle of the war, wanted someone as an anchor, and should have known the decision would sink her.

she’s glad this is over text, who knows what face she’s making, what someone would be able to read from her expression. ]

maybe. desperation does a lot to people. doesn’t mean they should be let off the hook for trusting the wrong person.

[ because she deserves the blame for what happened in the end, to bear it. ]

i think we can trust the police, at least to look after their own. it might be the safest option for them. if you’re going to take some of them home yourself, you shouldn’t go alone.

[ with the circumstances as they are. a moment where she considers the last question, thinks to reiterate : they’re good judges of character. but decides against it. ]

they don’t seem to like me, that’s all.

[digophelia]

If what they've done was turn a blind eye or knowingly aided someone malicious, no, I suppose not. The destitute are not all innocent.

[ And she feels deeply guilty for not acting sooner to stop children from being victims to a monster. It will not undo what has happened in London, but to her, this is a penance, in a way. She's grateful that it's over text, too, no matter how strange she thinks it is. Her responses are still careful and a little delayed. ]

We have no choice but to trust them, as much as I don't trust them, myself. Though, they're familiar with this city and the inhabitants, so I do not have much room to argue against it. But I will not be going alone, I've had a few help me and after they're taken care of, I will see if I can check in with them, to make sure that they are safe.

[ If it weren't for her inner turmoil right now, Alice would have taken in some, for tonight. ]

I doubt that; children are more accepting than you realize.

[regida]

[ it’s confusing, even weeks away from the situation to find clarity in it all. she had turned her back on her people, unable to stand looking at them after what she had done to keep them safe. marched out into the forest, foliage turning to hard wood in less than a blink. in looking for an escape, arrived in anwick. then here.

she can pinpoint the wrongs she’s committed, things she should have done differently. if there’s anything she is certain about, it’s the fact she isn’t innocent. ]

is anyone? innocent. people do what they have to, to survive. should they be blamed for that?

[ it’s in opposition to what she said before, but her thoughts now are in part characterized by conflict. someone said to her once ‘who we are, and who we need to be to survive are very different things’ and another later ‘maybe this is who we are now’.

she doesn’t know what to think. ]

that’s good. we don’t need one of us disappearing as well. it’s not that i trust them, i don’t not with anything other than this. i don’t think they’ve earned that.

we haven’t earned their trust either, especially with what happened in the square.

[ with the number of them that participated in the fight, either willingly or dragged into it. the result is the same. ]

i guess we’ll have to see.

[ if she runs into any of the native children, later. ]

[digophelia]

That would largely depend on the circumstances, I would think. To say anything else would almost be reaching. Yes, surely, there are things we cannot fault others for doing to survive, but at what cost? Hopefully, not at the cost of others.

[ she's seen and done many things in order to get by, though, she maintains that she'll never do it at the expense of others, so far.

So far, despite the open brutality she displayed during that fight. ]

As they shouldn't. We didn't help the situation -- even I'll freely admit to that. But so far, the children seem to be more welcoming.

[ She tries to be reassuring, at least on behalf of the children. ]

Well, they won't turn you away, as long as you have the patience to listen to them and give them a story, they like that.