FruitsParfaitSamurai ✗ [ 1 ] WHEN YOU HAVE NOBODY TO TALK TO ON THE TOILET, TEXT YOUR FRIENDS

[naturallywavy]

this is probably the only textng kind of message your going to get from me for everyone
i dont just send messages ! dont go wondering and endeing up all heartbroken and crap cause i havent messaged you back
this kind of thing takes patience which i dont have time for
but ive got nothing better to do and ill probably going to be here for awhile

what side are you on
why are you on that side
anybody else like screw it im gonna be on the fuck-its side
this kinda conversation isnt what you what than fine i have a crisis on my hands anyw ay

more importantly
what i have on my hands right now
its an emergency

SOS SOS SOS SOS
call the manager asap
sue the chef cause there was a crotch hair in my yakisoba sorta emergency
that kind of emeregency

if your around the outhouse near the den in city square
bring me something to wipe my ass with

ill give you
something




maybe

Comments

[kingofheroes]

[babbylon]

[Why. Why, why, why. That's about all that runs through Gilgamesh's mind for a full five minutes before, for some inexplicable reason, he deigns to respond.]

Are you incapable of any degree of poise?

[He's basically calling you an idiot again. In case you needed that spelled out.]

[naturallywavy]

_{[ ignoring???? the question.. it seems like that. ]}
do you have tee-pee
like in your space asshole thing

is it there

[babbylon]

DON'T CALL IT A SPACE ASSHOLE, YOU DULL-WITTED IGNORAMUS!!!

[...]

...and maybe. For a price.

[naturallywavy]

300 yen
_{[ that he doesn't have. ]}

[babbylon]

My charity is worth a mere handful of coins to you?

[That he doesn't have.]

[naturallywavy]

300 yen is a lot thats like one issue of JUMP from familymart
is JUMP nothing to you i thought you were a fan

username: weapon_stories

[of_her_own_accord]

Weeeeell I'd give you some journal paper, but I need all of it! Sorry. Guess you'll have to remember to bring some in with you next time!

Anyway, drawing sides when we're supposed to be uniting sides seems rather counterproductive, doesn't it?

[babbylon]

I'd wipe my own ass with more. Barter up.

[naturallywavy]

who the hell needs journal paper nowadays
isnt that what the internet is for
_{[ he doesn't know.. he doesn't really use the internet... ]}

this is a dire situation
you could save a life
or at least prevent my cheeks from falling asleep
same thing
_{[ he'll comment on the "more important matter" later. ]}

[of_her_own_accord]

Now now, I think this is a vital learning moment. You should cherish it.

[naturallywavy]

_{[ avoiding the question.. he sees how it is. ]}
id rather rip my all own nosehairs out than barter with somebody like you who could easy as hell fix my horrible circumstance
_{[ you wipe your butt with gold, don't you. DON'T YOU.
SHIT LIKE THAT MAKES HIM SO MAD. EAT SHIT. ]}

[babbylon]

This is not how Heroes behave.

[Yes. Yes, he is pulling that card out now.]

[naturallywavy]

ive cherished enough moments on he toilet before i dont need to cherish anymore ive become very familiar with profound thinking on the can
dont be like that

oi
ive cherished victories with my internal battles time after time in success that i left the stall without it flooding over or left the stall without bloodshed
with the success of feeling like a new reborn man
with the success of feeling bad bean paste out of my system

dont talk crap about cherishing toilet moments i know all about them

1.2

[naturallywavy]

do they behave by kissing your feet and crying out
GILGAMESH-SAMA
and showering you with things
_{[ because he doesn't have much to give you, sorry. ]}

i think a hero isnt and shouldnt be judged for how they act
but what they doo

2.2

[naturallywavy]

do
not doo

theres already a enough doo here
theres probably too much

[babbylon]

[There it is again, the glimmer of... something. Something almost, sort of worthwile. One can practically hear him sighing over the other end.]

And where have you parked your sorry little behind, again?

[of_her_own_accord]

You certainly know how to make bowel movements sound like epic encounters.

[naturallywavy]

not on a throne of gold like you might be used to
i already said

[naturallywavy]

are they not
_{[ hard to tell if he is being sarcastic or serious. Texting with him is always weird. ]}

[babbylon]

Better directions might earn you better service.

And double ply.

[naturallywavy]

the only service i want
is just for you to sneak some under the door

like two squares
maybe 4 its pretty bad
i dont care about the quality of service coming from you

[babbylon]

What, like some commoner?

[Bitch please. King of Heroes don't roll that way.]

Is there a roof on that primitive fixture?

[of_her_own_accord]

Can't say I've ever had that much problem with them.

[Accord, you're an android. You don't even go to the BATHROOM.]

[naturallywavy]

ah yeah
and ivory flooring
walls made out of diamonds
this seat is made of pearls
cushioned by the skin of an exotic baby seal

usual insignificant things for my heroic ass to take pleasure on
_{[ his sarcasm is flooding out of this text.
but yes, there is a roof. ]}

[babbylon]

Get rid of it.

[Don't worry. He'll wait.]