video/text: un: saccharine

[stickyfingers]

[The video startup seems pretty normal at first, until you realise that a certain freckled ginger isn't actually paying any attention whatsoever to the camera. He's sitting on one of the saloon beds, taking inventory of... snacks. Cookies, candies, fruit--even little wrapped bars of chocolate. He's talking to himself about something about 'not having enough for such a long trip', and it's only then that he realises that his bracelet is flashing with some... sort of irritating light.

He frowns, a look on his face that's pretty offended as he moves to put a hand down over it, and the video cuts off for a second, only for the screen to flip instead, to text.
Were ALASTAIR's clever little (magic?) bracelets not programmed with a thought-to-text function, it might be alright, but of course--Gaius has pretty poor luck, so instead:]

Just what I need in my life, weird gods-be-damned enchanted jewelry making eyes at me when I'm in the middle of something important.

[Someone really has no idea how these things work, being from the dark ages is utter bullshit with all this new tech.]

Comments

audio; un: cardmaster

[fateality]

Assessing your stock for your sweet tooth, I take it?

audio; un: coolskeleton95

[boneafide]

I CAN ALSO TALK TO YOU THROUGH IT!!

[ Papyrus yells at an absolutely unnecessary volume. be thankful at least he's keeping this to audio only, and not video, so it's not a screaming SKELETON right off the bat. ]

text; un: king

[agrizzlysin]

[The pain of a medieval mindset taking in science-fiction tech. King knows it all too well. Still...]

"Important"...?

You don't think the magical communication jewelry you suddenly have now that you've been dragged into the affairs of an alien organization should be slightly higher on your priority list?

audio

[soru]

"Important".

audio;

[stickyfingers]

[...Why is the bracelet talking to him. Now he's giving it a look that's just plain uncomfortable.]

...Well. Yes, maybe. We're going to be here a while and--

...

Don't tell me these things talk, too.

audio;

[stickyfingers]

[He almost jumps off his fucking bed when Papyrus YELLS at him through the communicator, and he makes the most unflattering sound.

This is fine.
It's fine.]

WHY ARE YOU YELLING? [And even better.] Show yourself, you--

[...stares down at his bracelet. Oh god, it talks, too.] ...Nevermind.

text

[stickyfingers]

[First the enchanted bracelet flashes and now it's talking to him. He kind of stares dumbly at the text on the screen.]

...Who in the name of Naga...

...

And obviously those things are on the top of my priority list. But without proper sugar rationings I'm going to be absolutely useless.
Even a fire needs fuel.

audio

[stickyfingers]

.....

Important!!

[Who the fuck]

[agrizzlysin]

My name is King, and I'm writing to you through your bracelet the same way you just addressed everyone in Team Audentes with it.

Now are you starting to understand why this is more important than your sweets?

audio

[soru]

Is all of that candy?

Re: audio

[stickyfingers]

...

No.

Some of them are pastries and baked goods.

audio

[soru]

It's all sweets.

[ ? ? ??? ]

What's the occasion?

audio

[stickyfingers]

Obviously.

The most important food group.

[...]

Why do I need an occasion for sweets.

[soru]

Meat and vegetables usually hold that spot instead.

[ ... ]

You mean... all of that is yours?

[stickyfingers]

Meat and vegetables fill your stomach. Sweets fuel your brain and actually give you energy.

[Don't you know anything.]

Yeah, it's all mine. And it's gonna' run out if we're gonna' be here as long as ALASTAIR says.

[soru]

[ that is enough to keep a man afloat forever my god ]

Surely you couldn't just buy more? Or make more?

[stickyfingers]

[Clearly you don't understand this man is not an ordinary candy-eater. He is a gold medalist candy-eater.]

Sure, I could do both. But have you seen the prices these dastards are cutting for their stuff? They're ripping all of us off, believe you me.

[soru]

[ is the gold medal also a chocolate medallion, is that it ]

I would have thought that the gains would have far outweighed the cost in this scenario. Didn't ALASTAIR grant you a stipend for this trip?

[stickyfingers]

[You bet your bubblegum butt it is.]

Gains? Remind me again, what are the gains of doing work for a weird group of fellas from some Outrealm that brought you to them by accident?

And by the by... after getting a new weapon and renting a room-- [And actually, yes, spending some money on strange but exciting looking sweets] --That 'stipend' shrinks pretty quick.

[soru]

I will remind you that there was nothing otherwise stopping you from turning down this mission.

[ god he cant help it. the nagging. it comes to naturally with this guy ]

Did you not consult with other team members about cutting the cost of a room?

[stickyfingers]

....

Oh, I get it. They enchanted these jewelry things to nag at their team members when they get complainy about their situation, huh.

That's pure brilliant, that is.

[soru]

[ ok now lOOK ]

Wh-- I'm not nagging!

[ yes you are ]

[stickyfingers]

'Is all of that candy? Aren't meat and vegetables more important? Where's your stipend? Why didn't you split the cost to share a room?'

[He's ... mimicking Coby's voice. ]

I think that's textbook nagging, if you ask me.

video;

[boneafide]

I CAN SHOW MYSELF IF YOU WANT.

[ He yells, quieter this time, but still yelling. And that is when Gaius is graced with the presence of a skeleton on his video feed. Sorry bruh, but you asked for it. ]

Hello there, friend!

[soru]

[ gOSH DANG IT ]

I'm certain that had it not been warranted, you would not be listening to said nagging.

[ dont let the ginger rile you, dont let the ginger rile you, dont let-- ]