video/text: un: saccharine

[stickyfingers]

[The video startup seems pretty normal at first, until you realise that a certain freckled ginger isn't actually paying any attention whatsoever to the camera. He's sitting on one of the saloon beds, taking inventory of... snacks. Cookies, candies, fruit--even little wrapped bars of chocolate. He's talking to himself about something about 'not having enough for such a long trip', and it's only then that he realises that his bracelet is flashing with some... sort of irritating light.

He frowns, a look on his face that's pretty offended as he moves to put a hand down over it, and the video cuts off for a second, only for the screen to flip instead, to text.
Were ALASTAIR's clever little (magic?) bracelets not programmed with a thought-to-text function, it might be alright, but of course--Gaius has pretty poor luck, so instead:]

Just what I need in my life, weird gods-be-damned enchanted jewelry making eyes at me when I'm in the middle of something important.

[Someone really has no idea how these things work, being from the dark ages is utter bullshit with all this new tech.]

Comments

audio

[soru]

Is all of that candy?

Re: audio

[stickyfingers]

...

No.

Some of them are pastries and baked goods.

audio

[soru]

It's all sweets.

[ ? ? ??? ]

What's the occasion?

audio

[stickyfingers]

Obviously.

The most important food group.

[...]

Why do I need an occasion for sweets.

[soru]

Meat and vegetables usually hold that spot instead.

[ ... ]

You mean... all of that is yours?

[stickyfingers]

Meat and vegetables fill your stomach. Sweets fuel your brain and actually give you energy.

[Don't you know anything.]

Yeah, it's all mine. And it's gonna' run out if we're gonna' be here as long as ALASTAIR says.

[soru]

[ that is enough to keep a man afloat forever my god ]

Surely you couldn't just buy more? Or make more?

[stickyfingers]

[Clearly you don't understand this man is not an ordinary candy-eater. He is a gold medalist candy-eater.]

Sure, I could do both. But have you seen the prices these dastards are cutting for their stuff? They're ripping all of us off, believe you me.

[soru]

[ is the gold medal also a chocolate medallion, is that it ]

I would have thought that the gains would have far outweighed the cost in this scenario. Didn't ALASTAIR grant you a stipend for this trip?

[stickyfingers]

[You bet your bubblegum butt it is.]

Gains? Remind me again, what are the gains of doing work for a weird group of fellas from some Outrealm that brought you to them by accident?

And by the by... after getting a new weapon and renting a room-- [And actually, yes, spending some money on strange but exciting looking sweets] --That 'stipend' shrinks pretty quick.

[soru]

I will remind you that there was nothing otherwise stopping you from turning down this mission.

[ god he cant help it. the nagging. it comes to naturally with this guy ]

Did you not consult with other team members about cutting the cost of a room?

[stickyfingers]

....

Oh, I get it. They enchanted these jewelry things to nag at their team members when they get complainy about their situation, huh.

That's pure brilliant, that is.

[soru]

[ ok now lOOK ]

Wh-- I'm not nagging!

[ yes you are ]

[stickyfingers]

'Is all of that candy? Aren't meat and vegetables more important? Where's your stipend? Why didn't you split the cost to share a room?'

[He's ... mimicking Coby's voice. ]

I think that's textbook nagging, if you ask me.

[soru]

[ gOSH DANG IT ]

I'm certain that had it not been warranted, you would not be listening to said nagging.

[ dont let the ginger rile you, dont let the ginger rile you, dont let-- ]

[stickyfingers]

And a man counting out his fuel for Life counts as being 'warranted for a good nagging'?

Yikes, I didn't know enchanted jewelry held such high bloody standards.