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video | username: xXx_trueblue_xXx

[ greetings, audentes, tonight's broadcast is brought to you by the letter Y

as in Yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy tf does this place suck so much huh? huh!! ]

What's a guy gotta do to get some coconut oil around here, huh? Heck, I'll even settle for some shea butter at this point.

[ here lance is, sprawled across a bed he is definitely meant to be sharing (but TOO BAD KEITH you snooze you lose, except not literally, because if you were literally snoozing you'd probably already be on the bed). he's looking rather put out, but anyone who's seen him during the time bug incident knows this is 99% more petulance than actual unhappiness. he's got his arms folded behind his head, and a certain chubby space mouse flopped over the top of his head, snoozing.

this particular bad mood may or may not be provoked by any combination of stress, healing orb withdrawal, the perpetual possible threat of a teammate that may one day grow up to stab you in the face after he stabs you in the back, and a not-so-successful run-in with the local fare down in the desert saloon's cozy little bordello. (he doesn't want to talk about it.)

but also the skincare products. that is actually very important to him.

or maybe he's just feeling a little stir-crazy, and someone thought it'd be a good idea to hand the kid who can't keep his own mouth shut a device that can activate and send out messages from a single thought. ]

So who's holding out on the rest of us? [ him. he means him. he's noticed some of your skins, okay! that softness and tautness ain't natural! ]

Is it that thing they're mining? That argecite, or whatever? They all have pretty good skin and they're just inhaling that stuff... Maybe that's why they want it so bad.

[ now he's just late-night musing. but seriously, do you think it's easy to be this beautiful? ]

I wonder if we can get some of that stuff ourselves and grind it down. I bet it'd make a pretty good exfoliant.

[ science side of audentes, show me your argecite beauty hacks. ]

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Hadn't given their mines much thought, but I suppose y'could ask them.

In any case, I reckon you're gonna be hard pressed to find coconut oil here in the desert.

[ lance makes a face. ]

Probably should've looked into cactus oil before we left, but I was a little too busy trying not to die. [ life is hard, man. ]

Besides — I don't know about you, but the locals don't really seem very keen on sharing.

[guess who just missed the entire point of this post]

How'd you get all those Xs in your name?!

I know multitasking is hard in strenuous situations, but there's always next time.

Try strikin' a bargain with 'em. Nobody likes giving something for free. That aside, I might suggest you try air drying after a bath instead of just toweling off.

[ HE'D BE INSULTED if he also didn't think is name was so gd cool jfc ]

What? Those old things? [ why is he making it a point of pride? why? ] That's skill, son. Pure skill.

Edited 2016-10-06 18:26 (UTC)

[what an embarrassment. too bad aang doesn't see it that way.]

Can you teach me? I wanna learn!

Hey, considering I accomplished the first thing? I'd still call that a success, man.

But you know you might be on to something here... [ the first part, not the latter. he already knew the latter do you think he's an amateur? ] Do you know what they're into?

[ you're an embarrassment shut up ]

Yeah? I dunno, that kinda power shouldn't be taken so lightly... You sure you can handle it?

50% is better than none, I suppose.

[maybe you ARE]

Didn't really occur to me to ask, but if you got somethin' to barter, chances are they'll be interested to pry open a little. How good are you at a sales pitch?

Of course I can handle it! I'm the Avatar, it's my job to handle everything!

[except apparently the crushing weight of responsibility that comes with being the avatar but you know]

[ yeah let's talk about sudden responsibility and the FATE OF THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE thrust onto your hands ]

What the heck's an Avatar?

Stick with yogurt and cucumbers and you may make a convincing spread. We'll just need some crackers.

[ there's an obvious smile in his voice. ]

Edited 2016-10-06 18:33 (UTC)

[ omg say that to his baby soft face you jERK ]

What, are you kidding? Back in school, they used to call me "The Chef"*, because everyone's always wanting what I'm dishing out!

[ *sources needed ]

[ pfft who talks out loud late at night at a reverend's house? Chihiro listens carefully to the video projection, not fully understanding... give her a few years to start caring. For now, she'll just aim for vaguely helpful! ]

Maybe they have some of that special mud that's good for your skin?

[omg who is this pleb who doesn't know who the avatar is]

You know, the bridge between the Spirit World and the human world, the one that's supposed to bring peace and harmony between the four nations?

This might just be the jet lag talking [ ?? what jetlag there was no jet also it's been over a week ] but I'm getting the feeling you're having a laugh at me, dude.

[ there's a playfulness in his own tone, though. gross. ]

Didn't anyone ever tell you that words hurt?

[ yOUR NEW BEST FRIEND, B*TCH ]

Your world's only got four nations?

[ ... ]

That's so cute.

[ oh no chihiro you've unlocked the (unfortunate) text route. now lance's responses will be 10x less filtered. ENJOY! ]

heeeeey you might be on to something!
though i don't know of any way to tell if the stuff on the ground's like the clay back home

[ they can both have regrets together ]

We can take samples and try them out, can't we? Like a science experiment, only for nicer skin.

[ the perfect start to a friendship ]

yeah true!!
till you find out you're allergic to one
then you've got terrible skin and hives and also could maybe die

[GIVE IT TIME]

I like the confidence, Chef. So what do you have in mind?

Um, okay. So try in really small amounts first?

Are you pretty healthy?

Alright check this out — I'm thinking...

footrubs.

...All right, maybe keep brainstormin' that one. Unless you feel like giving demonstrations to folk.

[ someone pls tell lance he is speaking to a c h i l d ]

who, me? heck yeah!
i'm in my prime, baby!
other guys be jelly i'm so fly

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