futurology | audio; un: okami

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audio; un: okami

It is my understanding that we were gathered to function as a team. A concept that is, perhaps, difficult for many of us to become accustomed to, but a path we have had no choice but to take in any case.

Yet here we are, already faced with danger enough from our missions, and we are equally forced to fear one of our own as well?

Explain to me why we should endure the presence of a monster who cannot keep his nature in check. How many were injured by Koltira's hand, yet all of us remain silent.

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[There's silence on the other end - one heartbeat, then two and then three.]

Then by that definition, aren't the two of us also monsters?

If you exact vengeance on Koltira, will you do the same to yourself? To me?

...I did not deserve to take my own life by my own hand. To fall in battle by another's skill, I would have accepted that, once not long ago.

What could you have possibly done to see yourself in that way?

[She switches over voice, text too impersonal for a situation such as this.]

I tried to kill my commanding officer. My best friend.

[(She sounds like hell, voice low and hoarse.)]

[For a moment, he wants to ask her why. Was she ordered? Did something control her?

But ultimately, perhaps, that does not matter. Few asked Hanzo why he almost killed Genji years ago. Did it matter why? It did not. To him, it was a clear sin. One in which he deserved no forgiveness, even though it has been given to him so readily.]

Did this commanding officer forgive you?

I don't know. ALASTAIR brought me back before I pulled the trigger. [A pause.] But I can't imagine dead men have much capacity for forgiveness.

[Would she have killed him if they hadn't? She isn't sure. Regardless, her past actions are not the subject of this conversation. She exhales, breathes in again.]

What do you want to accomplish with this? Koltira's exile from this team? A show of support to justify your emotions at this point in time?

You would be surprised what dead men can do.

[It's spoken dryly. To him, for ten years, he thought Genji was dead.]

...It is clear to me that there is no anger like mine among any of you. I wanted an answer. That something was being done.

Yet I hear nothing. Nothing but to forgive. And I will not.

[Again she sighs, wearier than last time.]

So you plan to let yourself be consumed by hatred instead?

I would give him no less than what I have granted myself.

Which is?

[Spell it out for her, Hanzo.]

Hatred. Retribution. Justice.

I never claimed to earn anyone's forgiveness, Riza. It was given to me without anything to have earned it.

That's a sad way to live.

[She says it quietly, almost to herself. She won't judge him for choosing that road - can't judge him - but that doesn't make it hurt any less.]

Don't let it consume you though. Please.

I spent years knowing what I have done. And I waited for the day I would pay for what I did.

...There was a time I would ache for death, Riza. No longer. But I still anticipate a day I will answer for what I have done.

You would not expect this of Koltira?

I cannot claim to know his thoughts on the matter.

[They are not friends and will never be friends, regardless of the threads that connect them now, in more ways than one.]

If you do - if you've asked him what he feels he deserves and wants - then I will defer this judgement to you.

I would not speak to him now.

[Hanzo doesn't think, honestly, he could refrain from outright challenging Koltira if he tried.]

...Riza. Concerning your friend.

What do you expect of yourself? After what had happened.

Then one day. He has a right to choose his own fate, as do we all.

[But clearly, now is not the time to keep discussing Koltira. (For the best - she's starting to find herself discomfited by discussing his fate without him present.) There's more long silence on her end as she debates with how best to answer that question. When she finally does answer, it's a simple few words.]

I did not expect myself to live much longer.

[He can make of that what he will.]

Edited (i'm so fussy about words) 2016-11-02 13:35 (UTC)

I suppose.

[It's not something he entirely agrees on. If anything, a man who makes a grave mistake should rise to meet his responsibility.

But enough; they have debated. And he does appreciate Riza's clear insight, and her comprehension.]

Might I ask why it happened, as it did?

[About that—]

He was consumed by the need for revenge. All his actions were dictated by hatred, rather than out of any desire to help others.

[She pauses, deliberating on how much of her single goal in life to tell Hanzo. It had been a very private thing, once upon a time, but that had been before her world had abruptly spun upside down.]

He wanted to govern our country someday. Make it a country worth living in. But I don't believe a man fueled by his own self-interest would ever be fit for such a role.

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