( video | un: white_lotus )

[construing]

[ the video opens on the white masked face and large pink eyes of one spider-woman ( secretly gwendolyn stacy. ) nothing else about the video seems odd…except perhaps for the way her pink-and-blue web-lined hood hangs around her head almost as if she were actually upside down ( she is. )

nothing else is weird. at all. ]

Greetings, Audentes. For those who don't know me, I'm your resident Spider-Woman. That's first name "Spider," last name "Woman," middle initial "hyphen." With that out of the way, I interrupt your daily routine to bring you this.

[ gwen flips her hand, seemingly pulling a scratched piece of holodisc out of midair. ( yes, she practiced that move. ) it vanishes from view as she holds it near the magitek. but the garbled audio is captured without problem. ]

--the core. Instability will result in-- --for this reason, we have--

[ gwen waits a few seconds so the message stands alone before proceeding. ]

Now, I don't know about you, but to me that sounds like the opposite of good. And considering all the holes and earthquakes and the earth generally being like nah to being stepped on around here, I'm guessing this planet thinks the same thing.

I also know my friend and I weren't the only ones who ran out to find more of these. [ the exaggerated friendliness with which she usually speaks tapers off into something more solemn. even the eyes of the mask narrow slightly. because masks do this. ] This planet was abandoned a thousand years ago for a reason. It's looking like we're going to discover that reason on our own. I prefer to do my research first so if anyone's found more of these messages, time to share with the class.

(( ooc: feel free to use this post to threadjack to your heart's content! ))

Comments

[cachemoney]

Well, that's why it's a dangerous -- wait, what about... cameras? [That's not "dying horribly at the hands of Vault monsters," that's a different note to end on.]

[construing]

You must come from a time before reality TV.

[ a beat. ]

Lucky you.

[cachemoney]

Oh. [Definitely not.] I feel like we're talking about two different things, here. You have reality TV about treasure hunters?

[construing]

You don't?

[ did she just get the dubious honor of the universe that cornered the market on reality? ]

[cachemoney]

No, just cooking and fashion... dating. That kind of thing. Vault hunters aren't usually the commercial type.

[construing]

Are we talking actual vaults here? As in booby-trapped, avoid the giant rolling ball of doom coming your way the minute you snatch the treasure vaults?

[ normally she'd assume not, but. other dimensions. every weird person on this team. you know. ]

[cachemoney]

Yeah, sure, something like that. [Throw in enormous interdimensional monsters and it's basically the same thing.] I got "rifted" back here before I could see what was inside the one I --

Oh. The thing just lit up, hang on.

[Her new holodisc fragment fills in some of the blanks from the last one.]

--has been an update on the status of Zymandis activity in this quadrant. Due to lowered activity, continued monitoring is no longer cost-effective. We recommend pulling out--

[construing]

[ gwen goes quiet, something far more impressive since she's in costume. ]

I take it Zymandis means about as much to you as it does me?

[cachemoney]

[Fiona is actually starting to get creeped out by the silence, and is glad when it's broken. She's dealt with enough people in masks for life.]

Uh, absolutely fuck all? Yep.

[construing]

Man, I'm really hurting for Wikipedia right now.

[ SIGH. ]

[cachemoney]

Yeah. [WHATEVER THAT IS. No, she gets the gist.] My kingdom for the ECHOnet, too. I'm missing out on cat videos, important research information aside.