video; un: PERIDOT5XG

[slapfight]

Since we have our new marching orders, and are preparing to depart relatively soon, I feel as if I should go on record admitting my one weakness.

[she makes an agitated noise.] I'm not good at blending in.

[she holds up her hands, suddenly excited.]

But! But I have learned that the one thing that sets me apart is that I'm considered to be very funny. So by using my natural gift for comedy, I will surely keep the natives off guard while we plan out our strategies.

The problem is I don't have many jokes. The one about the chicken, while hilarious, will probably lose its charm after awhile, so in the name of preserving teamwork, I ask of you, my fellow Audentes, to give me, the great and lovable Peridot, your best jokes.

Comments

[flashbanging]

Yeah, that sounds like the kinda place that'd have one.

[ 'Funland'. ]

But--naw. No. Mostly it's kids who like to ride'em. It's a big spinning circle with painted animal statues that you can get up on. They got tigers and zebras and such.

[slapfight]

I've ridden on Steven's lion. [technically IN Steven's lion, because of his ridiculous pocket dimension mane] Earth animals make very poor transportation. I can't imagine anyone doing it for recreational purposes.

[flashbanging]

[ He laughs--a big, warm guffaw, right from the gut. ]

Well, darlin', most folks don't rely on lions to get 'round. Horses were the preferred method for thousands of years. Still are, in some parts.

[slapfight]

Like the mechanical beasts in Perdition's Rest! Are they usually made of metal?

[flashbanging]

Naw. Leastways, those ones in Perdition's Rest were the first I'd ever seen. The ones I'm used to are flesh and blood. Good friends, if you can manage it.

[ Not that he really ever has. ]

[slapfight]

Well. If they're anything like their inorganic counterparts, they're more... endearing than most of the Earth animals I've encountered.

[like bees.

and snakes.]

[flashbanging]

Right majestic, if you ask me. You should take a gander at the stables--they got all kinds over there.

[ He raises an eyebrow slightly. ]

Got me wonderin' what all you've run into, though.

[slapfight]

Bees.

And snakes.

[a beat] There are... cows too, but Garnet chases them away.

[what did cows ever do to you, Garnet.]

[flashbanging]

Aw, most of them critters don't mean you no harm. You leave'em be, and they'll return the favor.

[ He scratches his chin, looking puzzled. ]

Cows especially. All they wanna do is chew their grass, mostly.

[slapfight]

A snake bit me while I was trying to install wifi in the barn.

[it's clearly the snake's fault for BEING IN HER WAY.]

[flashbanging]

[ He winces in sympathy. ]

Aw, sweetheart, that's too bad. I've had some tough standoffs with a few rattlers in my time, too. You just gotta keep in mind that you're a lot bigger'n they are, so they get scared.

[ Peridot looks about equal height with the average third-grader, but that's still a monstrous giant to a little snake. ]