video; un: PERIDOT5XG

[slapfight]

Since we have our new marching orders, and are preparing to depart relatively soon, I feel as if I should go on record admitting my one weakness.

[she makes an agitated noise.] I'm not good at blending in.

[she holds up her hands, suddenly excited.]

But! But I have learned that the one thing that sets me apart is that I'm considered to be very funny. So by using my natural gift for comedy, I will surely keep the natives off guard while we plan out our strategies.

The problem is I don't have many jokes. The one about the chicken, while hilarious, will probably lose its charm after awhile, so in the name of preserving teamwork, I ask of you, my fellow Audentes, to give me, the great and lovable Peridot, your best jokes.

Comments

video; un: cuttlefishCuller

[fintastic]

[ Oh! She recognizes her... ]

Peridot! Has anyone ever told you about puns?

[slapfight]

Papyrus mentioned them, but he changed the subject when I asked what they were.

[is it forbidden comedy]

[fintastic]

What?? Who said that?! I will have to find him later and have a talk with him!

[ Ahem. ]

A pun is like... a play on words! Like using a similar sounding word in place of another, or words sound the same but mean totally different things!

Like, uhm, if someone asks you if you're alright, you can say you aren't, you're half left! What they really meant was alright, like if you are feeling okay. But you acted like they said all right as in, completely the direction right!

video | username: xXx_trueblue_xXx

[competing]

...Wait, if being funny is what sets you apart, how's that gonna help you blend in?

[ HE SEES A FLAW IN YOUR PLAN, SON. ]

[slapfight]

[HRGH] Because humans enjoy comedy, and by standing out in a way that appeals to them, I'll be able to distract them.

[competing]

I guess weird stuff is easier to digest when it's funny...

[ it's a compliment. really. ]

Alright — what've you got so far?

[Video | UN: METTATON]

[ex_mettacrusher33]

[Congratulations, darling, it's a handsome metal box!! He's lounging on a bed with large, gray text floating off to his side:

MTT Comedy Workshop]

Good evening, my little gentlebeauty! I heard you were having a bit of a problem understanding human comedy and needed a little help punching up your script. While I normally might charge for such advice, team-work makes the dream-work, does it not?

Now, I'll have you know that humor is one of the most subjective things in the known universes. EVERYONE has a different sense of humor. Not everyone will find you funny! EVER!! No matter how much you try! But the key to success revolves around two things: confidence and the subversion of expectation.

Let's have a little demonstration, shall we? The most simplistic and well known of human jokes is the "Knock Knock" joke. It has a simple formula of call and response, with the caller delivering the punchline, usually a pun, in two parts. An example would be along the lines of:

"Knock Knock!"
"Who's there?"
"Boo!"
"'Boo' who?"
"Oh, no!! Please don't cry!"

See? Isn't that easy? Now I'll have you start. Give me a "knock knock," gorgeous!

[slapfight]

But- [EXCUSE YOU SHE IS DELIGHTFUL. EVERYONE WILL ENJOY HER, EVEN IF IT'S OUT OF PITY THAT SHE WILL NOT ACKNOWLEDGE, but... no he's still going, and she shuts her mouth and makes growly cat noises so she can hear the lesson.

at least he's explaining it in terms she can understand. that's worth her not making a fuss about her attention-starved need for constant validation. she crosses her arms over her chest, frowns, and gives the metal screen what he wants.] Uh... "Knock knock"

[ex_mettacrusher33]

Come in.

video; un: kazbrekker

[steler]

Your disguise back in Perdition's Rest wasn't terrible.

[he's....making a joke...]

[slapfight]

[she

doesn't get it]

..That wasn't a disguise.

[steler]

That poncho...wasn't a disguise?

[what was the point then....]

video ; steelsamayarai

[feytality]

Weeelll... before I teach you how to really be funny, I've gotta hear what you got. Quick, give me the one about the chicken!

[slapfight]

[ARE YOU READY, MAYA??

ARE YOU READY FOR THE GREATEST JOKE EVER??

Peridot clears her throat.] Why did the chicken cross the road? [she pauses and then breaks up her own dramatic attention by snorting a little bit. probably imagining chickens again.] ...To get to the other side!

[and then she waits expectantly.]

[feytality]

[there's a very, very, very, very, very long silence]









Please tell me that's not the only joke you know.

audio; un: okami

[whatshimadayou]

...I may know some forms of humor.

[that's up for debate]

[slapfight]

Yes, yes. Tell me all the secrets to comedy.

[wait until Amethyst hears about this!!]

1/2

[whatshimadayou]

Then brace yourself.

[whatshimadayou]

I would tell you a chemistry joke but I know I would not get a reaction.

video; un: mccree

[flashbanging]

All right, try this on for size.

[ He moves his hands as he talks, leaning forward, grinning--in other words, clearly he thinks he's the funniest man in the room. ]

You're ridin' a horse at full speed. You got a giraffe beside you, and you're bein' chased by a lion. Whaddaya do?

[ Pause for dramatic effect ... ]

You get your drunk ass off the carousel!

[ He slaps his knee. Good, right? Right. ]

[slapfight]

[it takes her a second and then she joins in laughing, only pausing to add:] That's amazing. I-

[oh wait. this is the chicken joke all over again.] I don't know what a carousel is.

[flashbanging]

Oh. Uh.

[ He supposes he's not surprised to hear that, given that she's apparently some kinda alien crystal thing. ]

You ever been to a fair? Amusement park? I think some zoos have'em, too.

audio; un: hemlock

[unholey]

[............. well, at least she's honest. About the not fitting in part at least. He's not so sure about her sense of humor, though.]

I can't say I know many jokes myself. [His sense of humor is... really dry. And very rare.] But if you have time to visit the library before we leave, I'm sure you could find books about wordplay in there somewhere.

I'm going to go out on a limb and assume you're not familiar with Earth culture in general, not just American culture specifically. Although the latter can be baffling on its own.

[Given that she appears to be a little green alien with a rock on her forehead.]

[slapfight]

Ugh. The library. [she crosses her arms over her chest.] It's so inefficient. You'd think with all the technology here, they'd have digitized most of the texts.

[she had a joke book back on Earth, but when she tried to do her own research here, she, uh... ended up with piles after piles of books on the humor of various lifeforms. interesting, but so unhelpful.]

Affirmative. I'm still learning, and I've lost access to my tablet, so things have been... difficult for me. [case in point: what is american.]

[unholey]

I would say that it's an impossible task to digitize an infinite amount of books from an infinite number of universes, but what's a second impossibility on top of the first? [MAKE MORE SPACIAL SENSE, CASTLE.] So you're right. They are slacking. Although of all things to be inefficient about, this is the one I think I mind the least.

The Internet's very helpful when it comes to finding quick answers to questions. [A pause.] Do you have any? About where and when we're going for the mission.