futurology | Video; un: zenyatta

Hello, world!

[Oh, who's this guy?? Surely not someone any of you have met before!! JK, there's his username, slapped on the post like it always is. But this guy's a human!! Surely there's an explanation for this!!]

This is Zenyatta. If we have met before, then you might notice I am looking very different! If we have not, I do not typically look like this. I am typically an omnic- or as you might better know, a robot.

For the most recent mission, we have the assignment of "blending in" with the population. I thought this could be an opportunity for me to learn what it would be like to live as a human.

That is also where I could use some assistance. I am still becoming accustomed to human lifestyle, but there are many things that are new to me. For example, I have noticed there are certain rules about clothing most humans follow, but it was not exactly something I thought too much about as an omnic. I typically did not wear shirts, but it seems that this might be more of a necessity, as a human?

[As are socks. Shoes. Underwear.]

Another question I have- how do humans know when they are allergic to things? How do I run some sort of diagnosis to ascertain what I should avoid?

I am sure there are much more I have yet to discover, but some guidance would be appreciated.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ ugh don't even talk to him about the bathroom... ]

I have already had that part explained to me, yes...

[ And it's a lot worse than he thought. ]

I assure you, that is not a topic we will need to discuss...

That's a good thing. No one wants to potty train a robot.

[Gently put as always.]

Uh, have you been to the kitchens yet? Unless you're avoiding food for the ... other reason.

I am not completely foreign to human behaviors and necessities. I know the basics function and requirements. It is the specifics I am not completely certain in.

For example, one type of fruit may contain the same essential nutrients as another, but taste so different? Those are the sorts of answers I am looking for.

One of the paladins back home gets sick whenever he's with a bad pilot. It doesn't matter what he eats. You might want to figure out if that's a risk for you. [Thinking of Hunk makes him smile.

Especially since he got in a snide and subtle jab at Lance by mentioning him.]

But I think you should eat what you think tastes good. Will you be like this for the entire mission?

Oh. I had not thought about that...

[ About being so easily nauseous. He's never been sick like that before- never been sick at all, really. It could also be totally possible. ]

I have not tried too many things yet. I do like tea, water, and ramen though.

I can think of a few other things that might be good to try. Cheese. Pizza. Cheese on pizza. A good piece of steak is always nice. And I don't mind vegetables, just so long as they aren't all ... weirdly mashed up. I'm about six months and going without food goo in my life, and I don't miss it.

Pizza.

[ Zenyatta says suddenly, as if it had not occurred to him before he suddenly can eat it. ]

... That is, I think that is something I would like to try. It is very common in human media, so I think I would like to know what makes it so different.

That's pretty easy to obtain. Do you wanna try it now or on the mission itself?

I am to remain like this for a short while, before I can attempt to change back. So, now would be as good a time as any.

Right.

[That makes sense. Plus, Keith doesn't even want to ask where the pizza will go if he changes back right after eating it.

... Though he, unfortunately, does think it.]

Is now a good time, or are you trying too much food at the moment?

[ Keith, please.]

I have not had anything to eat in several hours... that is the normal time span, yes?

Normally, yeah. Unless you get too caught up in doing something and forget.

You don't feel too much pain, do you?

I am not in pain right now, but it is a thing I can feel?

If you're hungry? Yeah. It really happens if you've gone too many hours without food.

This is... normal? Eating this much? It was only three hours ago?

It depends on who you are. But yeah ... I only have a few hours between breakfast and lunch most of the time. Usually it's a lot longer for dinner.

But if you are supposed to eat when you are hungry, then what is the purpose of set eating times? Should you not just eat when you feel like it?

[You're blowing his mind here, Zenyatta.]

I don't know. To tell you the truth, it's just what I've always known. I bet there's a reason for it ... I just haven't thought about it much.

Then let us break traditional meal times and have pizza.

Sounds good.

I'll meet you in the kitchen.

[THEN, IN THE KITCHEN...

Zenyatta's there, still wearing his typical clothes (aka just horrible yellow pants), but lacking the floating.]

Hello, Keith!

... Is it weird to actually use your legs? [Look, Keith would also be frustrated by Zenyatta's extremely unnecessary slow floating if he was Zenyatta.

Only, you know, he doesn't really rate his slowness.]

I can always use my legs. I just usually choose not to. My leg joints have not been inspected in a decade, and so I find it more reliable to simply float.

That said, it is a little weird to use them so frequently. But I can also jump up stairs two at at a time now.

[ yeah he's doing dumb shit like that, sorry he's still a child. ]

Heh ... I guess I just like to move faster. You can see the appeal in that, right? [Though it doesn't surprise Keith that Zenyatta is too patient to really care about getting anywhere quickly.]

But you should see if you can take three at a time. It takes some balancing, but it's fun. [It might also cause cramps.]

Move too quickly, and you overlook much.

[ everythings an opportunity to lecture apparently. ]

Three? I will have to try it. Along with... whatever it is we were trying here?

(no subject)

secondnature - 2017-02-14 19:54 (UTC) - Expand