iomnic: youtube shitpost comments are my keywords (Default)
Tekhartha Zenyatta ([personal profile] iomnic) wrote in [community profile] futurology2017-01-18 03:28 pm

Video; un: zenyatta

Hello, world!

[Oh, who's this guy?? Surely not someone any of you have met before!! JK, there's his username, slapped on the post like it always is. But this guy's a human!! Surely there's an explanation for this!!]

This is Zenyatta. If we have met before, then you might notice I am looking very different! If we have not, I do not typically look like this. I am typically an omnic- or as you might better know, a robot.

For the most recent mission, we have the assignment of "blending in" with the population. I thought this could be an opportunity for me to learn what it would be like to live as a human.

That is also where I could use some assistance. I am still becoming accustomed to human lifestyle, but there are many things that are new to me. For example, I have noticed there are certain rules about clothing most humans follow, but it was not exactly something I thought too much about as an omnic. I typically did not wear shirts, but it seems that this might be more of a necessity, as a human?

[As are socks. Shoes. Underwear.]

Another question I have- how do humans know when they are allergic to things? How do I run some sort of diagnosis to ascertain what I should avoid?

I am sure there are much more I have yet to discover, but some guidance would be appreciated.
paintjobs: but no, thank you, we'll keep the inappropriate flirtations (h: an interesting proposal)

[personal profile] paintjobs 2017-01-18 09:57 pm (UTC)(link)
Charging, then. You'll find the human body incredibly inefficient in how often it requires nutrients.

And on that note, however much water you plan to drink, it won't be nearly enough.
paintjobs: you can go fuck yourself. medically speaking. (h: well in my professional opinion)

[personal profile] paintjobs 2017-01-18 10:09 pm (UTC)(link)
I couldn't tell you average, but the ideal is a half of a gallon every 24 hours. Inefficient, like I said.
paintjobs: (h: oh do tell me more about sportsball)

[personal profile] paintjobs 2017-01-18 10:14 pm (UTC)(link)
Suit yourself, but you won't be operating at peak performance.
paintjobs: you can go fuck yourself. medically speaking. (h: well in my professional opinion)

[personal profile] paintjobs 2017-01-18 10:24 pm (UTC)(link)
I beg your pardon? Didn't I tell you to let me know if you were experiencing any issues, in Perdition's Rest?
paintjobs: (h: ugh.)

[personal profile] paintjobs 2017-01-18 10:33 pm (UTC)(link)
[ and he just. sighs. ]

I hope you know how easily fixed that is. [ a beat. ] Was.
paintjobs: (h: oh do tell me more about sportsball)

[personal profile] paintjobs 2017-01-18 11:16 pm (UTC)(link)
If you really can't see it, it doesn't sound like there'd be any use in convincing you. [ you fool!!!! ] But at least now you're in luck. If you go and break down this body, there are plenty of organic healers around for you.
paintjobs: or whatever "being human" is called (h: smarmy giant robot fleshpods)

[personal profile] paintjobs 2017-01-19 12:06 am (UTC)(link)
That's right, you'd have to do it the old fashioned way. [ does he, as a simple medic and not a fancy magic healer, sound a little smug about that?? surely not. ] What a shame that information like that is so arcane and obscure.
paintjobs: (h: well it's fine i'll just murder every)

[personal profile] paintjobs 2017-01-19 04:28 am (UTC)(link)
And I was just point out that you can do it another way.
paintjobs: (h: this is the worst day of my life)

[personal profile] paintjobs 2017-01-19 05:16 am (UTC)(link)
Zenyatta, I've had barely weeks to study human medicine.

[ because boy he sure didn't care to until before now... although he is, at least, making up for lost time ]

If you want to learn, I recommend someone with a little more experience.
paintjobs: but no, thank you, we'll keep the inappropriate flirtations (h: an interesting proposal)

[personal profile] paintjobs 2017-01-19 05:23 am (UTC)(link)
[ god don't sound so disappointed, ugh

after a pause and a heavy sigh:
]

I could give you some pointers, based on what I've picked up so far.
paintjobs: (h: oh do tell me more about sportsball)

[personal profile] paintjobs 2017-01-19 05:29 am (UTC)(link)
Fine. Tomorrow afternoon, in the library. We'll start with basic injuries.
paintjobs: i've seen flashier paint jobs on a super combination robot toy (h: gurl please.)

[personal profile] paintjobs 2017-01-19 05:35 am (UTC)(link)
[ a pause, as there always is, like he's forgotten for a second that some people say thank you for things. or how to answer it. but in a moment, sounding pleased: ]

You're welcome. But save the thank yous for after you've actually learned something, and try to keep in mind that I've been studying medicine for millennia, and human medicine for weeks.

(no subject)

[personal profile] paintjobs - 2017-01-19 05:41 (UTC) - Expand