video; un: LILITH

[cashlin]

[In the midst of all of this pseudo-zombie terror, paranoia, and rioting, one woman alone remains firm, standing strong in the face of madness to remember the real universal importance of ALASTAIR's mission here--]

Well, ain't this an exciting Loverpalooza! Orrrr... almost Loverpalooza, I dunno what day it is anymore. I think the people on this planet call it somethin' else, too.

[--and it is definitely not this chick.

Lilith, rather, is perched on top of a dumpster in an empty alleyway with her legs folded, a paper grocery bag full of the spoils of looting in her lap. The crowds of Woodhurst, still in total uproar, are far from gone: the blare of horns honking, glass shattering, and men and women yelling unintelligibly just up the street is completely audible in the feed, but the woman doesn't seem to be paying them much mind at all. Not when she's grabbed her loot and made off unscathed.

Idly, Lilith rummages through her bag.] I didn't even get any chocolate! What a load of crap. [Instead, she's opting for a bottle of pills. Lilith presses the heel of her palm into the childproof cap and continues speaking as if somebody's car alarm didn't just yelp into life off-screen.]

Anyways, what're your plans, team? Ice cream and bad chick flicks at home? Fancy dinner, if anybody's still running the restaurants around here? A romantic evening punching rioters in the teeth with that special someone? Provided they make it out of this whole ordeal alive, that is. I know my date would've, but hey, he's not even on assignment here, so I'm shit out of luck. Open, you little bastard.

[With a soft noise of plastic clicking against itself (and a little 'ha!' from Lilith), there it is: painkillers are open. Lilith pops an ibuprofen and hops off the dumpster just as the sound of all the chaos grows steadily louder and louder.]

I dunno about you guys, but all this infection nonsense is giving me a real headache. So, hey: entertain me. I still gotta get home, or find a shop nobody's hit up for snacks yet.

[Just as Lilith's beginning to turn a shimmering blue-purple and translucent, she grins wide for the camera and cuts the feed.]

Comments

[cashlin]

See, your world's name for it makes way more sense than Valentine's Day does, too!

[lilith doesn't get it but oh my god im laughing please know this]

Good to know that somebody around here hasn't got a stick up their butt about it. Sorry your Heartseekers Day is gonna be boring anyways, though.

[fateality]

Yeah, I don't really get why it's called Valentine's either. I reckon most folks 'round here local don't.

[gonna bed his personal zombie]

Better things than sticks, anyway. [He chuckles.] Eh, not much that can be done about it. Maybe I'll go treat myself while he's off doin' the heroic thing.

[cashlin]

[SNORTS] That's the spirit, dude.

You've been getting the five finger discount while shit's like this, right? I missed out on a lot of the good stuff during this round of rioting 'cause I was a little late. My fault for not getting the jump on it. [she shrugs nonchalantly. scavenging is a pandoran way of life.]

[fateality]

Now's the best time to help myself. Though I suppose I have an easier time gettin' 'round than most folks.

Lookin' for anything particular?

[cashlin]

Then we've got that much in common. I've had to be way more slick about the superpowers deal, since we're supposed to be incognito, but on the DL doesn't mean I can't, right?

[and let's be real she would've phasewalked even if specifically told not to because fuk u she does what she wants]

What everybody looks for, really: cash, food. Weapons. I doubt any of the ammunition here would work for anything I've got, though. It's friggin' medieval. There isn't even basic digistructing tech here.

video; un: fiona

[cachemoney]

[Who cares about anything that she just said, that is a Siren. A Siren named Lilith, which can only mean one thing, and Fiona tucks her hair back behind her ear as she tries to look cool and not at all starstruck.]

You're Lilith the Vault Hunter. Right? [OBVIOUSLY RIGHT, it's a dumb question, but she doesn't know what else to say. Lilith!! The Vault Hunter!!!!] Fiona. Also a Vault Hunter, incidentally.

[cashlin]

[aha.

Paying attention to Vaughn sure paid off.]

Vault Hunter and Siren, at your and ALASTAIR's service, Fiona. For now, anyway. [/PREENS]

And you, Vault Hunter-- if your friend wasn't just making shit up-- are part of the found-a-vault club, yeah? Been meaning to track you down for that.

[cachemoney]

[A VAULT HUNTER CALLING HER VAULT HUNTER. Validation at last.]

That's right. Vault of the Traveler. Not that, uh... I actually got to see what was inside, but yeah.

[cashlin]

[Lilith's face falls. When is a vault with actual not-horrible-monster stuff inside gonna be within her reach? NEVER AT THIS RATE...]

Dammit. Then we're in the same boat.

I didn't even know there was more than one until your buddy Vaughn told me about your Vault. Did a giant wriggly alien come out, or was it something else?

[fateality]

So long as no one's gonna notice, I don't think it's gonna be a problem.

Well, I got enough food to make sandwiches for a couple of weeks. Not too exciting, but that's what I got. [the money is his]

[cashlin]

Practical people! At last. [everyone else???? is so touchy???]

Damn. Nice find. You good to trade if I find anything you like next time I head out? I've got a few cans and enough left over from before the rioting started, but I just wanna keep my bases covered. In case it starts going downhill.

[Pandora's unforgiving; Lilith remembers starving, before she figured out she could fight and steal for money and goods, and she's not especially eager to repeat it.]

[fateality]

I have my moments, miss.

'Course. I'm open to a bit of barter an' trade. Worth mentioning, but I happen be in possession of a pawn shop; got a few weapons there, I'm sure. Nothin' exciting, but enough to defend yourself with.

[moneyman]

Well, maybe they should. Or I guess you could do some other kind of stuff and they could name another day after you. Then you could decide how everyone else has to celebrate it! Not sure how you get the Saint part, but who cares, you can just say you are one. Who's gonna check?

[ this is a flawless plan, and he's proud of it. ]

They... shouldn't see them, no. Pretty sure nobody has cool powers like that here, so it'd definitely blow your cover. But I'm sure it's fine if you're sneaky about it. Which sucks, because they are super cool, but you know. [ he waves a hand. ] Mission stuff. At least you don't have to use a cloaking device.

[araigneedusoir]

Right.

[???? Lilith pls.

In answer to her question the view shifts, her back drop being a bunch of huddled together teachers who thankfully don't notice what she's doing.]

I'd rather be out in the rioting.

[flashbanging]

[ McCree doesn't seem bothered either way. He's liable to fall back into the endearments sooner rather than later, though he does make an effort when someone takes offense. Old habits are just hard to break. ]

I'm gonna say 'both'. 'Sides, ain't nothing wrong with a little cheese. Valentine's has never been a real subtle holiday.

[cashlin]

Really. [JUICY GOSSIP the only thing she loves more than guns and money, except no, that's a lie, she loves guns and money]

Who's the lucky lady and-or gentleman? Sounds like we've got a lot of inter-team, um, affiliations, if you know what I mean.

[flashbanging]

[ McCree is not reticent and taciturn like some other so affiliated people; in fact, he puffs up quite proudly at the chance to mention his man. ]

Fella named Hanzo. 'Bout yea big [ he gestures, indicating a man some degrees shorter than he is ], black hair, probably sorta surly face. Like he don't much wanna talk to you, and he might give you what-for if you try. Real handsome, though.

video; un: PERIDOT5XG

[slapfight]

I have one question.

[squint]

...What are you talking about? Is this another Earth ritual? ...Do we need to appease more gods?

[dammit Elias.]

[cashlin]

Oh, you're appeasing something, all right.

[LILITH NO SHE'S LIKE FIVE]

Nah! It's a holiday for couples and romance. Looks like the name's different, but the sentiment's the same in this world.

[slapfight]

[she is not a couple nor does she have a romance, but at least she understands THAT, avid shipper that she is.]

And if you're not part of a "couple," you're considered... Lesser somehow?

[this seems to be the gist of her annoyance.

which in turn makes her annoyed. HOW DARE A HOLIDAY ONLY CATER TO A CERTAIN CLASS OF PEOPLE.]

[cashlin]

Not really. Just that the holiday's not for you.

[.............]

But yeah, some people think that, even if not everybody actually wants to hook up with anyone. Those people, kiddo, are grade A assholes.

[slapfight]

I see...

[she assumes "asshole" is is probably some human colloquialism that means the same as "clod" or something. context clues!]

I suppose I'll spend it rewriting episodes of Camp Pining Hearts to better emphasize the Percy and Pierre pairing, then. And write out that clod Paulette for good. [stupid Paulette.] That seems like a productive use of my holiday.

[cashlin]

Hang on.

[oh no]

What... is Camp Pining Hearts.

[OH NO]

[cachemoney]

[Of course it was Vaughn who talked her up to freakin' Lilith, he's such a bro. She's gonna give him a present later.]

It was a monster, but more of the... giant, walky/smashy kind. [She opens her mouth, about to say more about the Vault monster, but --] Wait, of course there's more than one. That's, like... [It's common knowledge. How can Lilith not know?]

[secondnature]

You realize that you can be affected by this, right?