video; un: LILITH

[cashlin]

[In the midst of all of this pseudo-zombie terror, paranoia, and rioting, one woman alone remains firm, standing strong in the face of madness to remember the real universal importance of ALASTAIR's mission here--]

Well, ain't this an exciting Loverpalooza! Orrrr... almost Loverpalooza, I dunno what day it is anymore. I think the people on this planet call it somethin' else, too.

[--and it is definitely not this chick.

Lilith, rather, is perched on top of a dumpster in an empty alleyway with her legs folded, a paper grocery bag full of the spoils of looting in her lap. The crowds of Woodhurst, still in total uproar, are far from gone: the blare of horns honking, glass shattering, and men and women yelling unintelligibly just up the street is completely audible in the feed, but the woman doesn't seem to be paying them much mind at all. Not when she's grabbed her loot and made off unscathed.

Idly, Lilith rummages through her bag.] I didn't even get any chocolate! What a load of crap. [Instead, she's opting for a bottle of pills. Lilith presses the heel of her palm into the childproof cap and continues speaking as if somebody's car alarm didn't just yelp into life off-screen.]

Anyways, what're your plans, team? Ice cream and bad chick flicks at home? Fancy dinner, if anybody's still running the restaurants around here? A romantic evening punching rioters in the teeth with that special someone? Provided they make it out of this whole ordeal alive, that is. I know my date would've, but hey, he's not even on assignment here, so I'm shit out of luck. Open, you little bastard.

[With a soft noise of plastic clicking against itself (and a little 'ha!' from Lilith), there it is: painkillers are open. Lilith pops an ibuprofen and hops off the dumpster just as the sound of all the chaos grows steadily louder and louder.]

I dunno about you guys, but all this infection nonsense is giving me a real headache. So, hey: entertain me. I still gotta get home, or find a shop nobody's hit up for snacks yet.

[Just as Lilith's beginning to turn a shimmering blue-purple and translucent, she grins wide for the camera and cuts the feed.]

Comments

[cashlin]

[Lilith's face falls. When is a vault with actual not-horrible-monster stuff inside gonna be within her reach? NEVER AT THIS RATE...]

Dammit. Then we're in the same boat.

I didn't even know there was more than one until your buddy Vaughn told me about your Vault. Did a giant wriggly alien come out, or was it something else?

[cachemoney]

[Of course it was Vaughn who talked her up to freakin' Lilith, he's such a bro. She's gonna give him a present later.]

It was a monster, but more of the... giant, walky/smashy kind. [She opens her mouth, about to say more about the Vault monster, but --] Wait, of course there's more than one. That's, like... [It's common knowledge. How can Lilith not know?]

[cashlin]

[................]

This is weird. This is freakin' weird-- if there were more than one Vault, I would've known about it already. I mean, I just got done opening the one I did.

[SHE'S CONCERNED???]

Something is really not adding up here. We're from the same Pandora, right? Lawless godless wasteland? Bus stop from the rocket depots at Fyrestone?

[cachemoney]

I'm actually... from Pandora, like I was born there -- [But that's not as important as the other things Lilith is saying: not knowing there's more than one Vault, just coming from opening the one --

God, she'd just gotten used to the three of them being from the same time.]

Oh. I... might know what's going on, but, uh. It's gonna be weird. Even more weird? I'm from 2875.

[cashlin]

[mathlady.jpg]

That's crazy. It's 2870, you're--

[Okay, now she's really starting to get a headache.]

Are you seriously from the fucking future?

[cachemoney]

Weeeell.

Consider that we're currently in the 20th century. In a different universe entirely.

Is it that hard to believe?

[cashlin]

Okay, fair. But you're from my future-- what are the chances of that with everything else?

...What's the future like, anyway? Bet there's plenty of new Vault Hunters around with the new Vaults being discovered and all.

[cachemoney]

[God. That's a loaded question. Fiona screws her face up a little, trying to decide if she wants to tell Lilith, like... everything that happens in the future. None of it is very good, after all.]

Um. Most of them died? You know how it is. [Because Vault hunting is dangerous and not at all because Handsome Jack, like, murdered them all.] I'm still pretty new at it so I haven't met that many personally.

[cashlin]

[Good answer, Fi. She ain't even bothered, that's what she was expecting to hear.]

Meh. Rookies.

Oh man! You're new! [She's legitimately excited!!] You said you're from Pandora, though? Must be real different getting into the game after spending all that time on the planet already.

[cachemoney]

[Crisis averted, for now...... she'll have to reconvene with her boys to figure out if they should let the brain-melting Siren know about all the horrible shit that awaits Pandora in her future.]

Ha-- yeah, I kind of got roped into it accidentally. It's a long story. [A story that takes approximately five episodes to tell.] I'm from Hollow Point -- which you probably never heard of, never mind. Vault hunting is a hell of a lot more interesting, anyway. Not that this gig is bad.

[cashlin]

You should tell me about it sometime. And Hollow Point: I haven't gotten all the way around the planet yet.

Soooo... they do pay us good money for these missions, right? I don't offer my services pro bono, you know, and this food stipend's kinda modest.

[cachemoney]

[It's a dumb story that starts with a dumb mistake, so she'll put it off for as long as she can, t b h. But this change in subject saves her for now, so she readily switches tack.]

Uh... not payment as in the monetary type, no. We usually get a per diem when we go on missions. [That's not what she was asking, Fiona.] Buuut... sometimes we get presents?

[She glances down, ostensibly digging in her pockets, and comes up with a giant fucking diamond ring. Like, huge.]