futurology | video | un: ramenkage

[ There’s a lot of important posts going up on the network lately. So much so that Naruto has been kind of apprehensive about posting this. He can't really articulate as well as everyone else and while he wishes he could say something useful about everything that's happening, he's kind of overwhelmed by it all and just taking it as it comes. His issue is determinedly unimportant, but desperation has got the better of him. So here he is. Hi, he's new. Be nice. ]

So uh, I was wonderin' if one of you could help me with something…

[ His usually whiskered but now strangely bare cheeks (thanks cloaking device) are slightly pink as he scrunches up his face. He looks… kind of embarrassed to be asking something like this so openly, because it’s like admitting inferiority, but this kind of stuff just isn’t his forte. ]

I dunno what to tell people when they ask what I do, or where I come from, or anythin' like that.

[ Coming up with an entire backstory? All by himself? Surely you jest. The most he’s managed is dressing his clones differently and calling them his brothers, any more creative than that and you’re asking a little too much of him. He’s entirely new to this community and finding a place in it is hard enough without also having to find a place in this random world too. ]

An old lady asked me why I wasn't in school, an' when I told her I stopped goin' to school when I was thirteen she didn't take it well, so I dunno what I'm supposed to say, y'know. In my world I'm a shinobi, is there anythin' like that here?

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[ His definition of ninja is probably very organised compared to the one Maya is thinking of, but the basic principles are there at least. ]

Ya gotta prove yourself as a strong shinobi, yeah, but it's not all about fightin'.. You gotta prove your loyalty to your village by doin' everythin' you can to protect it, but you've gotta be smart too. You've gotta know when to attack and when to hold off and talk.

[ These are all things Jiraiya-sensei taught him and though he doesn't much like the sound of the paperwork or the hard decisions, he knows it's a small price to pay for his dream position. ]

Mostly you've just gotta be someone everyone knows, y'know. So that when it's time for a new hokage, everyone in the village wants it to be you.

[Yeah, she's mostly talking about cartoon ninjas.... or television ninjas who carry around bright red guitars and sing to animals.]

[In other words: the real deal (definitely)]

Oh, so it's more about being a village leader, huh? That's still pretty cool! I didn't know you guys were so organized and stuff... it kinda sounds like a beauty contest.

[How]

[ Naruto chuckles, scratching at the back of his head while a faint flush creeps up his cheeks. Why? Because he's a teenage boy and a girl is inferring something about him and a beauty contest and also shut up. Shut up is why. ]

Hah, nah, I mean.. The hokage back home is an old lady, and the one before her was an old man, [ There's like. A good fourty years between this lady and man but whatever. If they're older than Naruto then they're old. ] so if it was down to that, they'd never win, y'know.

[ Did he just call the Hokage ugly...? ]

It's more like... popularity, I guess? Ya just gotta be who everyone wants and trusts to look after 'em.

[She'd vote for Naruto to be Konoha's Next Top Model/Hokage, okay. She'll support his career in beauty and modelling]

Okaaay, so not so much about looks, but personality. Huh! I didn't expect that.

[So it's just a flat out talent contest or popularity contest] So, do they do wild things to try to win everyone over? Like throwing intense ninjas parties?

[Maya clearly knows the deal here]

[ Maya is a true friend to have. He'll honor her in his Top Modelkage speech.

Naruto snorts. ] What're the ninjas like where you're from, huh? I guess we do, but it's more like. Savin' people in wars and stuff. The hokage we have right now? She can drink anyone under the table, an' she's a descendant of these real powerful ninjas, so she can punch through walls an' tables and stuff with her bare hands! [ He winces. ] It really hurts when you're on her bad side too, so maybe she's hokage 'cause everyone knows she won't take any bullshit from anyone.

[ He shrugs, but an idea is brewing and it forms like the slow smile that twists at his mouth. ]

But hey, maybe I can try that, y'know! No-one's ever done it before, so I bet throwin' a party might surprise everyone and make 'em want me to be their hokage!

Mostly on TV, actually. I thought they were all fiction, or... from the ancient past, or something.

[but apparently they're a thing in the multiverse. Whoda thunk?] She sounds pretty cool, no wonder she's the head honcho!

[Maya approves] Teach me some cool ninja stuff and I'll get plenty of these ideas going! There's lots more where that came from.

[Taps her head... she's clearly a genius]

Yeah? [ He looks more than excited by the idea, but... a problem approaches. ] Ya don't have chakra, though, do ya? I dunno what I can do if you don't have that..

[ He folds his arms, scratches his cheek and screws up his face in a demonstration of thought. Hmmm. ]

I could teach ya how to jump through trees. Or maybe to throw shuriken? It took me a while, but once ya get the hang of it, it's real useful!

What's chakra? It sounds spiritual! And I've got looooads of spiritual power.

[her eyes light up at all of these, god, Naruto, this was a mistake]

Yeah! Both of those things would be awesome! Let's form a partnership!

Yeah! Sure!

[ A partnership sounds like an amazing idea, Naruto can't see how this was a mistake at all. :D ]

Chakra is like, the power inside you. [ He gestures to his chest as he speaks. ] Ya combine your mental power, and your physical power, an' what you get is chakra.

[ He only knows this because very recently he's been studying how to apply a third kind of power - natural energy - into the mix to make sage chakra. Which is kind of lucky for Maya, because if she'd asked him before said training his explanation wouldn't have made any sense at all. ]

Is spiritual power like that?

I'll get you elected to hokage in no time with my innovative and brilliant ideas! For example.... hokage karaoke... hokaraoke!

[Maya, no. Naruto, no]

Really? Spiritual power is..... well.... it's spiritual. [Very descriptive, Maya!!] It's different. But hey, I've got physical power, mental power, and spiritual power, so that should be enough, right?

[ HOKARAOKE. His excitement can't get anymore intense, he's practically vibrating through the network. ]

Sure! It might even be easier for ya to learn stuff if you've got that power too!! You can help me get to be hokage, an' I'll help ya learn shinobi skills!

[ A good exchange!! In theory..... Realistically he has. No idea. Do not trust him. He barely graduated from the academy with a passing grade and only really did so because his teacher was a massive sap. ]

[Maya's end isn't any better.... unless hokaraoke really takes off, she doesn't have that many actual legit ideas to offer]

You got it! This sounds like the start of a beautiful friendship.

video | un: ramenkage

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