text; un: shitpost king

[hedonistic]

man i was originally gonna bitch about finally getting my gaming handheld without any way to charge it but

we're like, literally in neko atsume right now so i can't even be mad

can we make cat planet our new home base, it's pretty much objectively superior to oska in every way
except the magic kitchen i guess

still
talking cat planet

[kagari has #priorities]

so, did anyone else get offered catnip
or more to the point, did anyone actually try it
because i'm legitimately fucking tempted ngl

Comments

[scrap_metal]

Because it's a catnip.

I do not understand why are you so certain of getting any results. It's not like it could affect people back home.

It affected cats. It does exactly the same thing here.

But as been said, no one is going to stop you from trying.

[hedonistic]

i don't know why ur so certain it WON'T work
i mean, these cats have probably had human visitors before if they're ALASTAIR's ally
they wouldn't offer if it didn't work at all, right?

[scrap_metal]

Would you offer a visitors from another world alcohol or other kinds of mind altering substances?

[hedonistic]

"mind altering substances"
u sound like my government lmfao

to answer ur question tho, uh, yes???
i'm guessing ur one of those permanent stick-up-the-ass types
but if there's any time to offer someone booze it's when they're stuck on a strange planet after a zombie apocalypse

[scrap_metal]

Right. So you would offer potentially dangerous substances, to people of varied age and origin.

However, that doesn't sound entirely legal. Or smart

Which is why I don't believe our hosts would make that mistake. My guess the closest comparison to the catnip offer is offering guest a cigarette.

[hedonistic]

not to like, little kids?? god, i'm not a TOTAL dick

anyway
to be fair, cigarettes have like, fucking tar in em, so it's not exactly the Healthy Alternative

[He's tried smoking regular cigarettes once or twice; it tastes terrible and doesn't get him wasted. No offense, Kou-chan, but he doesn't see the appeal tbh.]

not to mention the dubious legality of conscripting space refugees to ur cause because they have no other choice, but that's a whole other can of worms

could be more like weed though i guess

[scrap_metal]

They're not healthy alternative, yes, but they are far more normalized and legalized. At least where I come from. As long as you're outside, not counting few specific spots, it's allowed to smoke. Drinking alcohol? Not so much.

Can't disagree on the space refugees, though. You've got a point there.

[hedonistic]

seriously? it's straight-up banned where ur from?
man, even japan isn't that bad

[Frowned Upon, sure. People are generally paranoid about the "mind-altering effects" and the potential for addiction, but it's still legal.]

[scrap_metal]

Alcohol is not banned per-se, aside from being restricted by the legal age rule, obviously. But it is mostly frowned upon to drink in public, and if you're drunk and a nuisance, you will get a fine.

[hedonistic]

huh weird
where i'm from nobody really cares what you do in public unless you set off one of the street scanners with your hue or cause an area stress alert
i mean most people avoid alcohol anyway but there's still some bars and shit that exist

[scrap_metal]

Bars and pubs aren't "public space", neither are festivals, meeting, parties, and so on., drinking there is obviously allowed. But if you decide to get drunk in the middle of the day in the mall, or on a crowded station, there will be consequences.


[ At least in theory. Depends on the district too. Because of obviously, annoying drunks happen regardless. ]

It's mostly common sense, really. No scanners necessary.

[hedonistic]

they're open to the public aren't they
that counts
not that i've ever been to half those things

[#enforcerproblems]

anyway the scanners aren't for drunkenness lol
it's to flag people who're too stressed out and drag them off to therapy
or the ones who're officially latent criminals and take them away permanently

[scrap_metal]

[ Genos is literally getting ready to launch into a rant how "public space" differentiates, spaces such as shops and bars, which have their own rules, but the second part of the message distracts him into questions ]

So you get scanners that pinpoint sick people and criminals? That sounds like a very advanced technology, what else can they find?

[hedonistic]

latent criminals

[as quick as kagari usually is to call himself trash, the correction comes automatically; it's a continual clash, within kagari, between his anger and bitterness over the suffering he's endured from childhood, and his deep and persistent self-loathing, for whatever was wrong enough with him that he would never be allowed to have a life of his own.]

people that the system says are the most likely to commit crimes
i mean
actual criminals would be pointed out too but by the point that ur an ACTUALFAX criminal the scanners will have stopped being relevant ages ago lol

as for other stuff though, it also tells u what jobs ur most suited for and if u want suggests people for u to date
basically it runs almost every part of life back there

[scrap_metal]

[ Now it sinks in. Most likely to commit crimes? So basically people who have not yet done anything wrong, but someone says they "might"? ]

That sounds like some severe, authoritarian-dystopia bullshit.

Are you making this up- as you go, or?

[ look, the username spells it right there, "shitpost king". For once, Genos wishes it's a shitposting ]

[hedonistic]

[There's just some dark, ugly laughter on his end before he replies.]

would it make u sleep better at night if i was?

[scrap_metal]

[ a deflection, instead of continued horror story, doesn't bode well... makes the probability of it being real go up ]

Do you even know what a good sleep is?

[hedonistic]

haha what
the hell's that even supposed to mean

[scrap_metal]

Dreaming of being constantly watched must be pretty exhausting and stressing.

[hedonistic]

[Just laughing. Laughing for five thousand years.]

lmao shit
that totally explains at least 20% of the stick up gino-san's ass

me, i got to skip the paranoia boat entirely

[he makes it sound like a privilege, almost, just because it'll make it worse when he twists the knife]

sleeping is one of the few unregulated privileges when ur 5 in an isolation facility
u could say i'm something of an expert in it
(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

[scrap_metal]

[ segregated into: man you've seen some shit ]

So you're the take-solace-in-every-little-shit-I-can-get type?

[hedonistic]

i'm the "live every day like ur gonna fucking die tomorrow" type

[because tbh. that's not an inaccurate portrait of life as an enforcer]

[scrap_metal]

It is a viable strategy.

[hedonistic]

[Wait, did that really just happen? Kagari'd been ready for the lecture, the judgment, the "this isn't your world so you don't have to treat it the same way" that he's grown so used to. The absence of it is refreshing.]

hence this vital catnip experiment

[last chance to get in on the ground floor genos!!!!]

[scrap_metal]

And this made a full circle.


[ A circle of life indeed, catnip, trolling, some traumatizing backstory and a catnip again. ]