[Video | UN: METTATON]

[ex_mettacrusher33]

[The feed cuts to a very handsome box in a mud-bath. There are cucumber slices placed on his front panel where eyes are supposed to be and a glass of... milk in one of his hands. He's swirling it languidly as he speaks in a strong, mechanical tone, as if it were a glass of wine.]

WELL, THIS IS AN INTERESTING DIVERGENCE, ISN'T IT? CAN'T SAY MANY OF US HAD OUR BETS ON "CAT PLANET" AS THE FINAL ACT FOR OUR LITTLE WOODHURST SAGA, EH?

[Ahem.]

NOW, BEFORE WE ALL GET OUR PAWS FULL WORRYING ABOUT WHAT'S BECOME OF OSKA OR TREATING OURSELVES, I'D LIKE TO TAKE A MOMENT TO REMIND THE TEAM TO GIVE ONE ANOTHER A ROUND OF APPLAUSE FOR ALL OF OUR HARD WORK! WE CAN ALL AGREE THAT WOODHURST WAS AN EXERCISE IN ENDURANCE, DETERMINATION, AND "HOW NOT TO IMPRESS YOUR SUPERIORS IF YOU DON'T WANT TO BE INDISCRIMINATELY MURDERED," BUT THIS TALE COULD HAVE HAD A FAR DARKER ENDING WITHOUT SOME QUICK THINKING AND GROUP EFFORTS!!

AS SUCH, I'M HONORED TO GET THIS LOVE-FEST A-STARTED. TO OUR SCIENCE TEAM!! ESPECIALLY DR. URAHARA, MS. SIEGLIND, MS. NEVERMIND, AND ANYONE WHO DONATED TIME, EFFORT, AND BLOOD TO THE CURE AND VACCINES: YOU HAVE OUR UTMOST RESPECT AND THANKS! YOU KEPT PUSHING THROUGH REGARDLESS OF YOUR OWN PERSONAL SAFETY AND BOTH AUDENTES AND THE UNIVERSE ARE STILL SAFE BECAUSE OF YOU.

I'D ALSO LIKE TO THANK MR. LANCE AND MR. KEITH FOR INITIATING THE QUARANTINE!! IF MOVIES HAVE TAUGHT US ANYTHING, IT'S A HARD PILL TO SWALLOW ADMITTING YOU'RE INFECTED TO THE REST OF THE GROUP. EVEN HARDER IS KEEPING YOUR HEAD UP AND PLANNING AROUND WHAT COULD OTHERWISE BE THE TRAGIC NEWS THAT SENDS YOU INTO DESPAIR. YOU TWO TOOK WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN A REASON TO GIVE UP AND USED IT TO START A CALL TO ACTION. OUR NUMBERS AND THAT OF WOODHURST'S COULD BE A LOT LOWER RIGHT NOW WITHOUT YOUR HELP.

NOW, THIS OBVIOUSLY ISN'T THE BE-ALL-END-ALL LIST OF PEOPLE WHO SAVED THE DAY. I'M SURE EACH ONE OF YOU HAS SOMEONE TO GIVE THANKS TO FOR SOMETHING OR ANOTHER. SO WHILE WE REST AND RECUPERATE, WHY NOT LET THEM KNOW JUST HOW MUCH THEIR ACTIONS MEANT TO YOU? LET'S HAVE SOME POSITIVITY FOR A CHANGE!

[He waves his non-wine-holding hand, triggering a set of explosions and gray fireworks.

This only startles a few cats. Don't worry about it.]

Comments

video | un: Princess

[assent]

[ Well at least this time he isn't making jokes about her name... though it's a little strange to hear it like this. She still has the card Lance posted from people in the team as well it's just... different.

There's just one more thing: ]

You forgot to mention Peter's name in that list as well. He worked at a different location, but kept in contact with us-- [ Not all the time, but she isn't going to name and shame him on that ] --as we worked together. He also loaned me equipment when I was stuck in my apartment, so I would like to ensure his name is there as well.

And... [ She pauses to smile now, because it's a little odd isn't it...?? ] I am glad to see you are enjoying yourself.

[ex_mettacrusher33]

WHAT ISN'T THERE TO ENJOY? [A legs kicks out of the mud, hanging in the air for a moment.

Anyway.]

BUT THANK YOU FOR THE REMINDER, SWEETHEART. 'FRAID I WASN'T ENTIRELY UP TO DATE ON WHO DID WHAT, SO THE CORRECTION IS APPRECIATED. THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE AS WELL, PETER; YOU TOO KEPT SEARCHING FOR ANSWERS EVEN AT EXTREME DANGER TO YOURSELF. THAT SORT OF SELFLESSNESS IS RARE IN MANY UNIVERSES.

[assent]

Quite. The spa services here are quite varied.

[ Though ok MTT... ok. More than she needs to see... ]

It is all right. I am aware that not everyone is aware, but I doubt he would offer his name himself.. that is why I wished to add that on.

text; un: RHY5-W1NZ

[cachemoney]

[this is definitely rhys, don't worry about it]

Fiona is awesome because she did the indiscriminate murder and it was super cool or so I hear.

[ex_mettacrusher33]

AND THERE WAS MUCH REJOICING. WE CAN ONLY IMAGINE THE SORT OF HORROR THAT COULD HAVE BEFALLEN THE FUTURE HAD PERCY'S RESEARCH FALLEN BACK INTO ZYMANDIS HANDS. IT WAS A HARD CHOICE, MORALLY SPEAKING, BUT THE GREATER GOOD WAS SERVED. CONGRATULATIONS TO YOUR SWEETHEART AND HER AIM, DARLING.

[cachemoney]

Haha yeah, my sweetheart. [ew] She's great, 1000% true, we'd all be mega screwed if she didn't kill that dude.

video; un: urahara

[predomination]

[VIDEO SO YOU CAN SEE THIS ASSHOLE COVERING HIS FACE WITH HIS FAN AND PRETENDING TO BLUSH.

Ah... how embarrassing. You really shouldn't have gone to all the trouble of making an announcement just for our sake...

[ex_mettacrusher33]

OF COURSE I SHOULD HAVE, URABABE! THE PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW WHO TO PAY THEIR RESPECTS TO! THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT.

[predomination]

We're going to become full of ourselves and insufferable if this keeps up.

[ex_mettacrusher33]

IMPLYING THERE'S ANY OTHER WAY TO BE?

[predomination]

Oh stop. How am I supposed to maintain that I'm just a humble shopkeeper like this?

video, @Doc Knock, pretend this is not embarrassingly late...

[paintjobs]

Yes, it was all very well done. [ but more to the point and most importantly: ] You're not planning to drink that, are you?

i got u fam

[ex_mettacrusher33]

[As if in answer, Mettaton's already tilting the glass toward himself. It spills directly onto his front panel and... continues to spill off and into the mud.

He has no mouth, you fool.]

DELICIOUS.

[paintjobs]

[ and he just. sighs. so deeply, so long suffering. ]

Is that organic lactation? Just to be clear.

[ex_mettacrusher33]

...

WELL, WHEN YOU PUT IT LIKE THAT, IT'S NOT SO DELICIOUS.

[paintjobs]

Mmhm. Well. We all suffer for the sake of an aesthetic. [ but still that is super gross, what are you doing. ]

Indulge my curiosity, does a mud bath compare to a hot oil bath? I have to imagine it's much more... gritty.

[ex_mettacrusher33]

[Ah, finally. Someone gets it.

...unfortunately, Mettaton doesn't get that.

A leg ascends from the mud, poised in the air.]

'FRAID I CAN'T GIVE MUCH OF AN ANSWER, SWEETHEART. EITHER IN TERMS OF OIL OR GRITTINESS.

[But that begs a question:]

YOUR BODY IS CAPABLE OF PHYSICAL SENSATION?

[Jealous...]

[paintjobs]

Yours isn't? [ and for once this seems like genuine surprise, not snootiness! ]

[ex_mettacrusher33]

WELL...

WE'RE METAL.

THE FACT THAT YOURS IS HONESTLY SEEMS MORE STRANGE THAN THE FACT THAT MINE ISN'T.

[paintjobs]

[ pardon him while he just spends a few seconds looking completely bewildered by this opinion

Eventually: ] ...It's just a matter of receptors. Just what species are you, by the way?

[ex_mettacrusher33]

[Receptors...

They can MAKE those...?]

SUCH A COLD QUESTION! IF YOU MUST KNOW, I HAPPEN TO BE AN ARTIFICIAL SOUL IN A ~*~GLAMOROUS~*~ METAL SHELL! ROBOT OR MONSTER, YOU COULD CALL ME WHICHEVER SO LONG AS YOU ALSO CALL ME STUNNING.

(ALSO I MEAN "MONSTER" IN THE TECHNICAL TERM. IT'S A SPECIES, WE'RE NOT GETTING INTO SELF-LOATHING ON THIS PROGRAM.)

IF I MAY ASK THE SAME? WHAT ARE YOU, ASIDE FROM HANDSOME?

[paintjobs]

[ There's a lot of things here not making sense, but the worst offender is definitely that this boxy contraption would call itself stunning. That's just sad. But hey, he can appreciate a healthy ego, if nothing else. ]

Well, you're certainly ... [ there has to be some kind of compliment he can dig up ] ... Colorful. In the right places.

As for me, aside from handsome, I'm a Cybertronian. And you happen to have a great example of one to speak with, luckily for the both of us -- I'm a doctor. I can tell you all about those receptors you really ought to have.

[ex_mettacrusher33]

[Of course he is. Look at all this polished chrome. Another leg has joined the first. He flexes his "ankles," showing off how nice they look even while covered in mud.

Exquisite.

He listens, still flexing, as Mr. Knock goes on. Cybertronian(?) and a doctor? The receptors...?

Despite attempting to keep a calm and collected voice, the lights of his front panel have begun flashing an exclamation mark.]

...I'M LISTENING.

[paintjobs]

[ why the legs... why is this happening.........

The tell is charmingly archaic and even a little bit cute, though, so he'll humor this. ]

And what is it you're hoping to listen to, exactly? A biomechanical lesson? I can't imagine that would be as riveting as you might hope. But of course, I'm not one to deny an audience, so if you really insist...

[ex_mettacrusher33]

CONSIDER ME FASCINATED, BEAUTIFUL. I'LL TAKE MY ANSWER OFF THE AIR, IF YOU WISH.

[paintjobs]

A good idea. You might be in, but I can't imagine many of your fleshie viewers would be very interested.

[ex_mettacrusher33]

"FLESHIE?" YOU SAY IT WITH SUCH A CRUEL TONE... IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG WITH HAVING FLESH?

[paintjobs]

Well. It does tend to run a little damp, I'm sure you've noticed.

[1/2]

[ex_mettacrusher33]

...

[ex_mettacrusher33]

'FRAID I DON'T FOLLOW.

[What does that MEAN?]

[paintjobs]

Nevermind, I'm sure that's irrelevant. Suffice it to say I prefer the inorganic form.

[ex_mettacrusher33]

WELL.

THAT'S CERTAINLY A PREFERENCE YOU CAN HAVE.

[Not the one Mettaton agrees with, but okay.]

[paintjobs]

So glad to have the permission, thank you. [ but nonetheless, with a cocked brow: ] You don't?

[ex_mettacrusher33]

... [His screen blinks a few times, processing how to answer.]

THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING METAL, OBVIOUSLY. WE'RE HANDSOME. WE'RE ANGULAR. BUT...

[There's a poof, and Mettaton takes his more humanoid form. After a moment, his disguise cloak from Woodhurst shudders on, leaving only a beautiful man in well-deserved mud bath.

Pose.]

There's something to say about these curves, isn't there?

[paintjobs]

[ pardon him while he makes a face, just a tiny one. ]

Now, I'm all for curves... [ look at these beautifully curved shoulder pauldrons he's got, what kind of hypocrite would he be to say otherwise! ] I just tend to prefer a little more rigidity to them.

[ex_mettacrusher33]

[Are you sure...? Are you certain?

He's posing his legs harder.]

Uh-huh...

[paintjobs]

[ ........
sighs.
looks away from ALL THIS UNPLEASANT SKIN, why are you doing this to him ]

You and I seem to have come to very different conclusions from inside a human body.