video; un: urahara

[predomination]

[The magitek isn't pointed at Urahara, but rather filming the area around him, but even if the username didn't give him away, the lilting overly exciteable terrier voice of his does.]

Good morning, everyone~

I know we're all very tired of this maze and whatever might be waiting for us once we get to the end, but it didn't feel right not to show you all this.

[The magitek shows one of the walls of the maze where an engraved bull's head stands out. Yeah.] I thought this might have been a bit of gallows humor from some of the previous inmates, but it's a reoccurring motif throughout the maze around here.

[A dry chuckle as he turns to face the camera, hatless and exhausted looking. Goddamn he misses his hat.] And if you're not up on your Greek mythology... Well, let's just say this situation could get even more frustrating. It's a shame Achilles-san has left us- perhaps he might have appreciated this in an odd sort of way.

Comments

[cachemoney]

["A native of Greece," that is a much better explanation. But there are much more important things to pick at now, such as --]

W...hy...?

[pummelling]

Because old Greek legends usually involve great heroes killing things that're big, scary, and partially animal.

Why d'you think Achilles was so good at fighting stuff? All those bull-men he was wrestling.

[cachemoney]

Mostly he was just good at being an asshole. Is that also part of Greek legends?

[pummelling]

...Well, yeah.

[cachemoney]

Kind of a weird culture if it values dickishness.

[pummelling]

Antiquity's like that. You think their heroes are jerks? You should see their gods. The crap they apparently got up to was unreal. The Real World: Olympus levels of unreal.

[i'd like to apologize to every classicist in the general vicinity]

That aside, though. We should probably take some advice from Theseus, the man who slew the minotaur in the myth: keep pressing onward, and get ready to stab the hell out of whatever's lying in wait for us at the ending.

[cachemoney]

Not the most original advice. [Sounds like just another day on Pandora, honestly.]

Any tips on how to murder a bull-man?

[pummelling]

That's easy. You don't need any required reading for that one.

[and, probably also just like another day on good ol' murderville:]

Aim for the squishy parts. I'd go for the head, personally.

[cachemoney]

[Basically.........]

Wow, gee. Never would have picked up on that one myself.

[pummelling]

You were asking for tips.

[cachemoney]

Well. Good ones.

[pummelling]

Then here's another hot tip: try not to get gored.

[cachemoney]

Oh my god, wow, let me start writing these down.

[predomination]

What Jin-san said. Also it was a man-eating monster, so... there's that.

[cachemoney]

Bulls eat plants, though... right? Not that I've ever seen one, but --

[predomination]

For some reason a lot of beasts and gods eat people in mythology. Ancient civilizations are very concerned with being eaten.

[He's sure there's a logical reason for this, but dammit, Jim, he's a particle physicist/superhero ghost, not a theology professor.]

[cachemoney]

I guess I can relate, but still. Weird thing to put into your myths.

[predomination]

It's a shame Achilles-san left. He might be able to shed some light on the subject.

[Or, at the very least, his answer would probably be amusing.]

whoops, sorry! i lost this notif

[cachemoney]

There was nothing very bright about Achilles. I don't know what kind of light he'd have to offer.

np!!

[predomination]

Cultural insight, at the very least. I wouldn't mind hearing it from a native's perspective.