TEXT | un: p.parker

[webdesigned]

so, its my birthday next wednesday

& dont get me wrong? not a big deal, i guess, its just a day, i forgot it even happened last year, but

thats the whole thing. ive gone from 19 to 21 here, that's longer than i ever imagined staying, which has left me thinking about how long ive been here

what was your favorite mission? what do you think youve learned, from being here? who have you met that youre going to miss when you go home? what moment sticks with you the most? or, idk, anything you wanna talk about. we always get stuck on the negative stuff,
& i get it, its easy to get stuck there

but there is more than that. & i think that its important for us to remember that.

so, i will go first, i guess. i think my favorite mission was zeta-12. definitely. the squidges are great and i still think about it there sometimes. it was nice feeling like we made a difference there and helped that species continue. if youre curious, here is beaker and scooter now.

( there's a picture attached of two full-grown squidges, apparently holding hands and puzzling over a plant native to Zeta-12. be glad it's text mode, or Peter might be getting misty about his alien baby. )

ive learned that there is no such thing as protecting someone from the truth. im going to miss my friends. i already miss some of them that have transferred. im going to miss my boyfriend, though he may or may not kill me for using that word and then i wont have to miss anybody. and... i think woodhurst is always going to stick with me the most.

so, thats me. im sure we all have our own stories. id like to hear them, if you wanna share.

Comments

text; un: hound

[ofobedience]

[He hasn't actually spoken to anyone since shortly after the festivities ended, when he'd learned that the small handful of people he was beginning to consider friends, the ones that had professed to actually care about him, had all transferred out, just like that. It's brought on a return of his heavier feelings, a detachment and cold bleakness that was beginning - slowly - to lift, and he's kicking himself more than a little for believing it's ever worth making connections with others, when without fail they leave you in the end.

So why he chooses to respond to this isn't something he really understands. Perhaps the promise of lifting negativity, or the feelings of nostalgia. Who knows. Whatever the case, he replies, and through text-- a small attempt at distancing himself from the honesty he's about to display. None of his usual slyness or snark or bravado in evidence.]

I suppose, with hindsight, Zeta-12. Perhaps 'favourite' is the wrong word, but it meant something. Also, Woodhurst.

text; un: shitpost king | i'm. so sorry for this.

[hedonistic]

[Sorry, was this supposed to be a touchy-feely post of positivity and warm fuzzies ... Kagari doesn't do that. Not that there aren't things about his time here that he hasn't enjoyed, or people that he likes, but--well, honestly, he's not comfortable being vulnerable in public like this, in front of a team he often feels he doesn't fit in with.]

21, huh
u should get ur bf to give u an extra birthday spanking for good luck
otherwise it's an odd number so ur cheeks will be unequally slapped and that's just Awkward

[webdesigned]

mmyup beta 2.1 thats the one

& for the sake of everyone on our team i am just gonna pretend i did not read that 2nd part

( oh god. he's so lucky this is text, because he would be too embarrassed to actually speak for a good ten minutes. )

[webdesigned]

i know what you mean. it sure wasnt easy... but by the end of it, you really felt like youd done something. thanks to us that species gets to keep going.

woodhurst... yeah. we did good there. i wish i could have done more, but, we did.

[hedonistic]

awww, come on, don't be a prude, peter-kun~
it's not like this is the first kink our team has talked about ♥

[ofobedience]

I suppose my reasons are slightly different. It forced me to realise some things. Made me see that something was possible, something I believed to be long dead. I felt largely indifferent towards my charge to begin with. There was at least one moment where I came close to killing it, if I'm honest with you. Ha ha.

I felt differently, towards the end.

[He'd even named it, eventually. And he keeps the picture Olivia had taken, of he and Lily before they'd left that planet behind, hidden amongst the flowers in his room. Has both pleased and surprised to learn that the creature he had 'raised' is doing well, and is largely well-adjusted]

Woodhurst was much the same. I learnt some things. Although I wonder whether I'd have been better off remaining the same.

1/2

[webdesigned]

seriously

( he has managed to miss all the kink convo... unsurprisingly, considering his notorious flighty virgin status... )

[webdesigned]

that was not me asking for details

btw

im good

[webdesigned]

close, but you didnt

( sqidges were frustrating, aggravating creatures. as were most children. Peter doesn't actually hold the confession totally against him, because he can understand, even if he'd never been close to wanting to hurt one. )

how do you mean? you think you haven't changed for the better?

[hedonistic]

omg
you've been here that long and you really don't know
an actual pure cinnamon roll, amazing

[webdesigned]

yeah somehow i missed that memo, but im okay with that

( WHEN WERE PEOPLE PUBLICLY TALKING ABOUT KINKS HOW COULD HE / HIS WRITER HAVE MISSED THAT )

lets just jump back to the first thing, ok? yes, indeed, i am turning 21. its pretty weird, back home that meants getting hammered and regretting it in the morning and maybe a cake
not sure what it means here?

[ofobedience]

No. It lived to see another day.

[He'd meant to throw it into the canyon when it had wailed and cried and refused to cross, right up until Olivia stopped him, taught him how to sooth it instead. And from there, things had changed. In the end, it had vaguely hurt him to have to leave Lily behind.]

And I don't know. In some ways, perhaps. But it's also made things more difficult.

[hedonistic]

[Ironically, he even talked to your boyfriend about it way back when he was new, that one Infamous Username.]

well
there's no reason it can't mean those things here
i happen to be great at getting hammered AND baking
i also might be able to be convinced to try baking WHILE hammered
for science, of course

[Yes, he is absolutely inviting you to drunk bake your own birthday cake with him, you did not misread that in the slightest.]

[webdesigned]

( STILES HAS BEEN TALKING KINKS OFF HIS WATCH... smh )

you remember how i melted a pot once
that sounds like a perfect recipe for melting pots, but less for science and more on accident

but you said you could show me some tricks, right? im game. for... both things, i guess?

[webdesigned]

i dont know you well but, idk. you made it. and you learned from it. a thought isnt an action, until you make it one

my uncle, he used to say the best changes are always the hardest ones. maybe it should be difficult, you know? when things are too easy, there's always someone paying the price.

[ofobedience]

I suppose not.

Perhaps. Although I wouldn't say anything's ever been easy. Only...expected. And better is a subjective way of looking at it. Thinking about it like this, I suppose I've changed in ways that better suit this environment. Just a little. If I were to go home, it would leave me at a disadvantage. Now that I consider it in this light, perhaps it's just as well that I won't be returning.

How about you. Do you think you've changed for the better?

TEXT. UN: LOKI

[selfimage]

[ what is all this talk about nostalgia and missing people!! there are a handful of people that left, ones that he assumed would carry no weight when they were gone, that have all come crashing down on his head. his mood has been precarious the last few days, shifting between defensive melancholy to eagerly embracing distraction.

he picks out the one thing that isn't fond memories. ]

Ah—twenty-one, that's a Midgardian milestone, isn't it?

text; un: cuttlefishCuller

[fintastic]

38o! Congratulations on your wriggling day, but I'm sorry to hear about your boyfriend.

I think Zeta-12 is my favorite too even if I didn't really get to go. But I love the squidges so much! I guess if I have to pick one I actually went on, the cowboy place was the least bad one I've been on so far...

text; un: steelsamayarai

[feytality]

what seriously??? WHEN? WE HAVE TO HAVE A PARTY

[webdesigned]

it is subjective, yeah. what you've explained... it sounds better to me. i guess what really counts is what you think, though

you don't think you're going home?

maybe ... maybe in some ways. i'm not who i was when i got here. it took some real bumps in the road to learn, though, and while i might not have gotten those opportunities if i were home... it's hard not to wish i could have changed without them. a lot of people got hurt for me to learn, i wish it didn't have to be that way.

[webdesigned]

no we dont, i havent had a party in years

( which could be sad, but Peter is not overly bothered by it. he's not exactly a party person. )

its the 23rd.

[webdesigned]

wringgling day, huh? haha. thats a good word for it

& yeah... i'll miss him, but i dont have to miss him yet

zeta 12 was something else... i wonder if we'll ever need to go back there to check up on them. ... perdition was pretty cool, at least to start. i feel like i say that about a lot of our missions
i hope we get some less intense ones, i feel like we are due for it

[webdesigned]

sure, 21 can be a big deal, at least in the states. thats drinking age, a Proper Adult

vote, smoke, & drink, what else could it possibly take to be an adult

[ofobedience]

In truth, I don't know what to think. The longer I remain here, the more confusing things seem to become.

And no, I don't think I'm going home. ALASTAIR have made it clear that only those who's worlds would perish without the impact of their actions can be spared the energy required to send them home. I don't qualify.

[Somehow easier to admit over text, the fact that he simply doesn't matter enough to be sent home. It wasn't a revelation that came as a surprise to him, only one that adds to the bone-deep ache that's always, always been there. He never has been enough. Never has mattered, back there.

As for the rest of what Peter says-- well. It's more evidence that he stands quite apart from the rest of them, here. That his ideologies and morals have been shaped in a very different light. But that's something he's accustomed to, by now.

There are points of commonality here, however, despite that.]

Perhaps change is always painful. I always imagined it would be. Bumps in the road...it seems a mild way to put it. Ha ha.

@TARANTO, text

[heavyhitter]

woodhurst fucking sucked so much

also happy almost birthday