audio; un: fiona

[cachemoney]

[This pops up on the magitek a few days after the dossier for the upcoming mission; Fiona's voice is smooth and friendly, like she's quite practiced at speaking to people.]

Hey, Ophelia. Fiona here.

Looks like our next mission requires some backstory work -- and unlike last time, we can't rely on "ignorant tourist." So, because of my experience with this sort of, uh... situation, I'm willing to help everyone out, because I'd rather we didn't all get thrown in cyber-jail because one of you screwed up.

I'm also from a universe where cybernetics are commonplace, so I can help you get the lowdown on that. [Just don't ask her about technical details. It will be embarrassing for everyone involved.]

So, let me know if you need help, advice, whatever -- we're all in this together, after all. And, as you all know, I'm an altruist.

Comments

audio; @9S

[bestaround]

... I think I could use some advice on this "backstory" stuff. Their society doesn't sound anything like Hanabira's was—right?

[cachemoney]

Oh, man, no. Hanabira was like stone age stuff. [They had electricity, it wasn't the stone age, but Fiona is from the 29th century. She's technologist.]

This sounds like you won't have to worry a whole lot about politeness and social hierarchies and whatever. Because it sounds like we'll be spending time with the lower class.

[bestaround]

Oh. Got it. [ He learned the concept of social hierarchies from their previous mission, at least. ] But I'm not so sure I can get away with claiming to be part of that lower class...

[ Since. He is entirely robot and all, and nothing about him is low grade, thank you. ]

[cachemoney]

Hmm, good point.

[Give her a second to think.]

You're going to need to blend in, so maybe... a disguise? Can you dye your hair? [Is it real hair.]

[bestaround]

[ don't... don't ask me this ]

Uh—I don't know, I've never tried before. Why would I need to change my hair color?

[cachemoney]

Because it's a disguise! That's what you do, you change your hair. [Or, if you're Fiona, you just change the color palette of your clothes. Don't judge her.]

I mean, you also pass pretty convincingly as human, so...

[bestaround]

Yyyeah, I'm not worried about the outside of me—none of you can ever tell, anyway.

[ Just saying. ]

It's the cover story I'm more concerned about. I've never lived among humans before, so...

[cachemoney]

Oooh. Right.

Weeell... we can do a crash course on being human. Humanity 101. Ask a question, any question.

[bestaround]

[ uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

There's a pause, probably longer than warranted. ]

That's... pretty broad, but okay. What're the kind of things a human wouldn't do, then?

[ He thought he did okay during Hanabira, but it seems like masking oneself is a much more serious matter for their upcoming mission, so perhaps knowing what would make him blatantly android (whatever that may be) and nixing that out of his general behavior might help. ]

[cachemoney]

[Speaking of things that are broad...]

Uhh. Humans don't not sleep. We also... eat. Food. [No, this isn't working.] Okay -- just tell me about your daily routine. I'll tell you if anything sounds weird.

[bestaround]

Well, it doesn't involve eating or sleeping as regularly as the rest of you do, which I bet is already weird enough to you.

[ He's capable of both, but doing so at the frequency organic beings apparently need it feels so... excessive to him, when it's optional.

9S lets out a thoughtful hum, and a mutter: ] What do I do routinely... I suppose there's my maintenance runs—that's about the only necessity I have. I get the feeling humans must have a lot more they need to do every day, huh?

[cachemoney]

Yeah, there's eating, sleeping, drinking... other stuff. [She's not discussing bodily functions, no matter how much she likes u, 9S.] Humans like to socialize, too, but that's not a necessity for everyone; you might just come off as eccentric or mysterious if you keep to yourself.

Um, we blink. A lot. Though you have that thing on your face, so that might not matter.

[bestaround]

Oookay, if you have to mention blinking, then I'm really not missing as much as I thought. [ Was he expecting more, bigger things? ... Yes. ] Then all I have to do is pretend I don't know anything about Hathaway. And if they find out anything mechanical about me, it'll be easy enough to pass it off as their cybernetics, right?

[cachemoney]

[Don't put humans on a pedestal, you'll just be disappointed by how simple they are.]

Sounds about right. They love robot parts, so somebody who's all robot is gonna be, like... their hero.

[bestaround]

[ Oh, Fiona's bracket text, if only you knew. ]

—What? For real? [ He sounds incredulous. There's a beat, then, ] I think I'd prefer if they thought nothing of it.

[cachemoney]

[She laughs, actually -- something about 9S shying away from the spotlight is very endearing.]

Well, try to avoid getting scanned or whatever, in that case. Or we can just hope androids that look like you are common enough.

[bestaround]

Ugh, I can only hope. It'd make my life a whole lot easier than trying to keep up with everything you humans do, that's for sure.

[cachemoney]

Are we really that different from you? [She doesn't know what to call 9S's "species;" android feels too broad.]

[bestaround]

I thought that'd be obvious. We didn't live like you did.

[ At least... he's assuming Fiona's life more or less went like most others' around here. Plus, robot, duh, which makes all the difference in the world. Obviously!! ]

[cachemoney]

Well, you blink. That's halfway there.

[bestaround]

[ what ]

Blinking isn't exclusive to humans!

[cachemoney]

See! We have so much in common already. You blink, we blink...

[bestaround]

I'm pretty sure animals blink, too.

[cachemoney]

Only pretty sure, though.

[She's just being a dick right now. Are androids familiar with this time-honored human pastime?]