audio; un: fiona

[cachemoney]

[This pops up on the magitek a few days after the dossier for the upcoming mission; Fiona's voice is smooth and friendly, like she's quite practiced at speaking to people.]

Hey, Ophelia. Fiona here.

Looks like our next mission requires some backstory work -- and unlike last time, we can't rely on "ignorant tourist." So, because of my experience with this sort of, uh... situation, I'm willing to help everyone out, because I'd rather we didn't all get thrown in cyber-jail because one of you screwed up.

I'm also from a universe where cybernetics are commonplace, so I can help you get the lowdown on that. [Just don't ask her about technical details. It will be embarrassing for everyone involved.]

So, let me know if you need help, advice, whatever -- we're all in this together, after all. And, as you all know, I'm an altruist.

Comments

[cachemoney]

Mmm, I moved around a lot. Sometimes made enemies. Easier to lose someone's tail if you pretend to be someone else.

[That sounds pretty innocuous, she thinks. A plausible history for a Vault Hunter.]

[flexing]

[ it does not sound at all innocuous actually :'| sorry that some of us have HIGHER MORAL BARS ]

I hope you do not need to move on from Hathaway. Not any time soon, that is.

[cachemoney]

[Well, more innocuous than BECAUSE I CON SO MANY PEOPLE I NEED TO HIDE MY IDENTITY A LOT. Well, conned. Past tense. She is a Brand New Person.]

I don't think so! Haven't made any enemies yet, anyway.

[flexing]

That is good to hear, you are a credit to the team. [ so don't go changing that ok. ]

[cachemoney]

Haha, wow. You're making me blush. [By which she means compliment her more, water her thirsty ego.]

I'm just, like, doing my part.

[flexing]

Maybe your past jobs, they have not been so ... clean. But if you have trouble with anyone here, now, you can tell them to talk to me.

[cachemoney]

[ooh ms zarya ooh]

I'm used to taking care of myself, but I'll keep that in mind.

[flexing]

I do not doubt this! But sometimes there is no replacement for muscle. [ please imagine the flex that doubtlessly goes with this ]

[cachemoney]

[oh, she's imagining it, alright]

I think you'd get along with my sister.

[flexing]

Does your sister lift? [ immediate interest!!! ]

[cachemoney]

Haha, oh my god. No, she's like... a string bean. But she's a big fan of brawn over brains.

[flexing]

Well, then at least she has good taste. The rest will follow, with hard work.