VIDEO; un: I CAN B UR DADDY

[moneyballer]

[Asher is decked out in the gaudiest holiday apparel you may ever see, addressing the network after months of terrible seemingly good behavior.]

Happy birthday to the original g-

[He raises a glass full of something suspicious in color, as if to make a toast.]

Je-

[The law student then proceeds to down all of the liquid at frighteningly quick pace before continuing.]

Sus Christ. Hundreds of years later and he’s still got bitches out the wazoo, stringin’ up lights on trees, prayin’ 2 his likeness, ‘n shit. I-D-K how I feel about the actual religion, but if ladies still want your dick after you’ve been dead for friggin’ ever you gotta be doing something right, right?

Anyways, I ain’t about to go to this holiday shindig sober, if y’know what I mean.

[And if you don’t, he’s about to explain it to you.]

I’m all for gettin’ slizzered in this blizzard, gettin’ some ice all up in my grill, and maybe if I’m lucky somebody’s balls’ll be getting jingled TONIGHT, y’all.

If you’re over 18 and are more keen on bein’ naughty than nice, come find me and we’ll pregame the party.

[As if this little broadcast wasn't unnecessary enough, Asher feels the need to get far too close to the camera and exclaim:]

Merry Christmas, bitcheeeeeeeez.

[*Please note that this post represents the feelings of a fictitious character about a somewhat religious holiday, and in no way is a reflection of the actual author's perspective, thank you.]

Comments

video; un: kazbrekker

[steler]

[saints dont let jesper get any ideas from that suit.]

Who is Je-Sus Christ?

[moneyballer]

[Kaz's blatant confusion, especially in Asher's drunken haze, comes off as kind of adorable. Even though the guy could and would, you know, murder the lawyer-to-be in cold blood.]

Ohhhh, religious guy. Prophet? People back home worship the hell outta him.

[Asher quirks a brow.]

You curious?

[steler]

No.

[at least he's honest]

I don't believe in religion. That was just my first question. [he sighs but it seems more dramatic effect than actual weariness] Although, I don't think I'll ever get used to the way you talk. Your home must be very strange.

[moneyballer]

Me neither, honestly.

[Asher chuckles and looks down. He'd expect someone like Kaz to be far more openly derisive, but it seems as though the other is humoring him.]

Why believe in someone else when you can believe in yourself? Ah, I dunno.

[Does he really feel that way about himself, though?

Spouting crap like that, it really gets him thinking.

Maybe there is a good reason to believe in God.]

[steler]

[he laughs at asher's comment - a little rough, but not necessarily derisive.]

I find it's better to make your own luck, yes.

[right, though, he's still trying to figure out this post...]

So what was the point of this, if you don't believe in this Prophet or his..."bitches up the wazoo"?

[moneyballer]

[He sighs in response, shoulders slumping a bit. Asher may be drunk, but his next few words are oddly sincere.]

It's been real tense around here lately, man.

I dunno! I just wanted to lighten things up a little. I mean, they're hosting a party and all, but it's not really a party if you aren't having any fun.

[steler]

[kaz considers it for a moment. it's maybe just humoring asher, giving back the weight he seems to put into it, but the pause is there all the same. kaz can, in fact, be a conversation partner. he just usually chooses not to try very hard.]

Try not to over do it. [a beat] Drunks make for good targets.

[moneyballer]

[JESUS CHRIST:]

Why do y-

[WHEEZE]

Why are you like this, dude?

[steler]

I was born in the Barrel. I learned how to survive.

[his world is rough kid]

That doesn't make it poor advice.

[moneyballer]

[Asher assumed as much. Kaz and Jesper are pretty accomplished when it comes to hand to hand-to-hand combat and money wrangling, and they don't look at that old.]

The Barrel?

I... I don't think I've ever heard of a place like that. I'm assuming it's a little...

[He gestures vaguely with his hands.]

Rough, though?

[steler]

[kaz laughs a little bitterly]

Sure, that's one way to describe it.

[moneyballer]

[The bitterness in the noise is a little off-putting, but he's not scared by it. Maybe he should be.

Asher should probably dislike Kaz a little bit more, but he's not one to hang on to grudges if he doesn't have to. Besides, this might be the only way the other knows how to live.]

You got any holidays you look forward to back home...?

For me it's Christmas.

[And maybe Valentine's day.]

What about you?

[steler]

The religion in my home revolves around trade.

[holidays..........]

Anyways, I don't really believe in any god.

[moneyballer]

[That's interesting to Asher, because there's so much mysticism and spirituality in his own world. To be fair he knows very little of it, as he hardly indulges and would rather live a short and exciting life than a long and pious one.]

You don't have to tell me twice, dude.

[What does Kaz celebrate? Other than money and maybe a little murder.]

I could tell from the minute I met you that you were all about them dolla dolla biiiillz, yo.

Is that it, though? There's gotta be something else that gets you stoked.

[That makes you happy.]

[steler]

[kaz still has no idea what asher is talking about but colloquialisms aside, he's pretty sure he got the rough translation of that one. and yes. he is 100% all about them dolla dolla billz

#hollahollagetdolla. trend it.]

Should there be more than that?

[moneyballer]

[Maybe his question is ill-informed, but that's what's so different between them. Kaz has a lived a much harder life, been forced to be more crafty at a young age, and has fought his way up the ladder. Meanwhile Asher has had money given to him by virtue of the family born into, and despite growing up with all those things, he still feels incomplete.

Very incomplete.]

Yeah.

[Spoken softly, in a gentle way.

Naive.]

I think so.

[steler]

[kaz is quiet for a moment, thinking.]

You were born rich, back home, weren't you?