futurology | Video | Username: tigermillionaire [Dated around the beginning of the month]

[Steven broadcasts a video from the inn room where he is. He looks like he's in good spirits and has several items laid out on the table.]

Hey everyone! It's me, Steven Quartz Universe. I got some neat things from ALISTAIR lately! I got my phone, my Cheeseburger Backpack... [He indicates a smartphone and... well, a Cheeseburger Backpack.]

Aaand we got a special surpise, too! {He takes out a container of food.] If you guessed that it's a sad meal, you're way wrong. Itttt's a happy meal! And I haven't done an unboxing video since I left home, so I think it's time I did one here for all of you here in Chantes! Okay, let's see what we got.

[He reaches into the bag and pulls out some french fries.]

First, we got some french fries. Nice, nice - they're a cornerstone of any happy meal! It just wouldn't be the same without them. [He nibbles on one.] And it's good! Well, it's kind of greasy, but in the tasty way! And it has just the right amount of salt. This is what you want in french fries, people!

[He reaches back in and pulls out a cheeseburger.]

A cheeseburger! Nice. This is like the main event of a happy meal. It's cheesy, it's a burger. Where could you go wrong? It was a nice touch it make it a cheeseburger, too, so it matches my backpack! To think it's been so long since I've had one... I don't think that it has long in this world! [He giggles as he sets it down.] That's the main event of the happy meal. Except there's something even main-er! Let's see if I got one...

[He reaches in and pulls out a toy wrapped up in plastic wrap.]

Yesss!! It comes with a toy! And even better, it's of Dogcopter! That's so great! [He hugs the toy close to him and then settles down.]

Well, that does it for my first unboxing video as part of ALISTAIR. This happy meal gets... a 4 out of 5 stars, I think! Thanks for watching, and... let's keep doing our best for this mission, alright? [He gives a cheesy smile and a thumbs up before he cuts out the video.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

If it works, that might be interesting. [He'd like to learn more about the people in everyone's lives, and speaking directly to them seems like the best way.]

Call your dad first. They usually worry the most.

Right! He's got to be worried sick... [And Steven misses him so badly. He then tinkers with the phone a bit.]

Okay. Speaker phone is on! Aaand... here we go?

[He presses the touchscreen, and... the audible response indicates a lack of any reception at all.]

[Hellboy waits for... well, for anything. He is still waiting.]

...nothing, huh? I guess that'd be too easy.

N-no. Nothing. [He frowns.]

I... I'll write a text message! That's what I'll do. And then, if we find reception, it'll send automatically!

[Steven, does your plan cover texts/calls sent between dimensions?]

Is that how it works? [Hellboy is from 2007 and has been off the grid for years besides; this kind of newfangled technology is a little beyond him.]

I wonder if anyone in Chantes has a phone, if you could call them. Or if phones don't work at all here.

Yeah! These phones have all kinds of cool automatic settings.

Um... I can try to see if anyone does, but I'm not getting any reception at all. And these guys? They kinda seem really, really old school. I think they'd need a lot more time to get to phone-making...

[Ha ha, Steven.] I meant anyone from ALASTAIR, but you're probably right about that, too. I never had a cell phone.

Oh! That's a good point. I'll check and see what I can find!

You're really missing out, HB. Phones are really cool, and there's loads of neat apps!

[...] Okay, I'll bite. Apps?

Apps! They're all these little programs you can put on your phone. A lot of them are games, but there's also ones that do lots of neat things for you, like timers and junk. Really neat stuff!

[Steven, you are blowing his mind.]

On a cell phone? Where do you plug in the mouse?

[He laughs at that.]

HB, you're such a goofball! Where we're going, we won't need mice.

These phones use touch screens. That's how we play around on it without a mouse!

[There is a long pause.] Okay, you gotta show this to me sometime.

I will! I promise, I'll show you the ropes, HB!

Ha. I knew I could count on you, Steven.

Video | Username: tigermillionaire [Dated around the beginning of the month]

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