babbylon: (Default)
king "#1 shitposter" gilgamesh ([personal profile] babbylon) wrote in [community profile] futurology2016-03-10 11:08 pm

video; [KINGOFHEROES]

[Greetings and salutations, comrades of ALASTAIR! The face of a handsome young man opens the feed today, smiling wide and surrounded by lions on his bed. Yes, that's right, lions. Shishi, his mount, sits in the background, with his mate nestled nearby. And atop him, crawling across his legs, over his shoulders, even rubbing at his face, are cubs, golden and white and feisty. They growl and chirp at the jewelry floating just a few feet away, and a particularly brave one bats at it.

Their parents, as well as Gilgamesh himself, look appropriately proud.]


Good day. For those of you who have not had the pleasure of meeting me before, I am Gilgamesh, King of Heroes, and your resident lion tamer. I bred them as a hobby, back in my native Uruk, and so I have once again come into possession of several cubs.

[The cubs themselves appear no more than six weeks old. Gilgamesh has to shift a little to accommodate them, as they are absolutely intent on making the broadcast difficult by shoving their little furry bodies everywhere. Not that it bothers him much—he's laughing under his breath.]

They have all been weaned from their mother and thus are ready for distribution. Alas, I cannot keep so many for myself; I aim to find good homes for them among you all. I do ask you bear in mind these are wild animals at heart, requiring a great degree of time and attention to train.

[Though you'd never know it, seeming so harmless, so adorable.. After a time, Gilgamesh surrenders, and gets swallowed up by their insistent pawing.]

They are not... just... housecats to sit on a shelf and... w-wait, do not touch it...!

[The necklace goes flying down the hall as a mischievous cub bounds after it. Gilgamesh will snatch it back... eventually.]

(( All lions have now found loving homes! Thanks for the interest, everyone! ))
boneafide: (pic#9955515)

[personal profile] boneafide 2016-03-11 03:54 pm (UTC)(link)
[Gil's lucky Papyrus forgives everyone for literally everything, and is also extremely difficult to insult.]

Oh, yes, I've heard about this! Humans have made up many stories about skeletons in the time we were Underground! I've never heard "Herald of Death and Decay" before but what a cool title!! I prefer just "Great" though. It's simple, but makes a statement!
boneafide: (pic#9800229)

[personal profile] boneafide 2016-03-11 04:06 pm (UTC)(link)
Well...

The only skeletons I know are myself and my brother, but if I had to summarize what skeletons are like...

We're friendly! And cuddly! Like all other Monsters, we're made of magic, love, hope, and compassion!

[this is some disney-level bullshit.]

Does this help?
boneafide: (pic#9793347)

[personal profile] boneafide 2016-03-11 04:13 pm (UTC)(link)
!!!!

[He wasn't asking to take care of one, because he knows he probably wouldn't be the best caretaker of a pet when he already has Sans to take care of... BUT!!]

I WOULD LOVE TO!!! Don't worry!! I'm always very gentle!!
boneafide: (pic#9793348)

[personal profile] boneafide 2016-03-11 04:29 pm (UTC)(link)
[It's not like he does this intentionally, okay? he's just pure.......]

Okay!!

[And, distantly, the sound of bones jangling around can be heard quickly approaching.]
boneafide: (pic#9728040)

[personal profile] boneafide 2016-03-13 02:59 am (UTC)(link)
[ It's a little odd- he's never met this kind of Gilgamesh before. The one he had spoken to a while ago now, the one that had threatened to kill him if he made poor food again, seemed like a completely different person. It reminded him almost a little of someone else he had known...

Anyway. He much prefers this Gilgamesh!! He's a lot nicer! ]


Hello!! The only thing about me that's dead is that I'm dead serious about how much I love baby lions!!

[ ... Yeah. A pun. Sorry, Gil. ]

I promise I'll be the very best!! I wear gloves for many reasons, one of which is for the purpose of keeping my boney fingers from accidentally poking anyone!

[He holds out his hands, ready to be the best Temporary-Mom he can be to this small cub.]
boneafide: (pic#9800229)

[personal profile] boneafide 2016-03-13 03:35 am (UTC)(link)
[ Yes. He's made of bones. But those bones can still feel things. And so when the cub bites down, he yelps a little, but otherwise keeps quite, stifling any further sound so he doesn't scare the cubs. Taking it like a champ, he instead cradles the lion cub, trying to play with him with his gloved hand enough to keep it preoccupied without biting him again.

The other cubs are at his feet now, and he allows himself to let out a high-pitched sound of glee as they pounce around below him. ]


They're so big for babies!! I guess that's a lion for you!!
boneafide: (pic#9728043)

[personal profile] boneafide 2016-03-13 04:41 am (UTC)(link)
[Things Papyrus is okay with: invasive questions. Things he is a little less okay with but will keep quiet about unless it gets weird: invasive touching. He knows not everyone's seen a skeleton monster before, and what better way to educate the masses than with himself as their star model! Which is clearly what Gilgamesh is trying to learn, by this.]

Oh no, there's lions! Magic monster lions. At least one of them. They live in Hotlands!

[But that's about all he knows, because FUCK HOTLANDS. Now that the lion in his arms has calmed down, Papyrus carefully adjusts to take a seat on the floor (despite this being in the middle of a hallway, whoops) so that all of the lions may climb all over him. This is true happiness. Covered in baby lions. ]

And there's other monsters like fish monsters- that's Undyne! And goat monsters- that'd be King Asgore! And then there's ghost monsters, and bunny monsters, fire monsters...
boneafide: (pic#9995120)

[personal profile] boneafide 2016-03-13 11:46 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh no, Undyne is one of the nicest people I know! She just doesn't act like it right away, but she is! She just also has really high standards for people.

[Like, don't be a murderer. Oops, failed step one, Gil.

Continuing to be covered in lion cubs, as they climb up into his lap and over his bones. One even starts tugging at his cape a little, until he starts focusing on them and playing with them instead.
]

Yes, to all three! He's good and just and fair, and also kind! He had... a lot of bad things happen to him, but Undyne told me he's never once failed to offer someone a nice hot cup of tea when they go to visit him.
boneafide: (pic#9870719)

[personal profile] boneafide 2016-03-18 08:39 pm (UTC)(link)
[This is your life now, Gil. Playing with lion cubs and talking to friendly skeletons.]

... I have?

[He pauses, thinking about it. He can't recall exactly what it was... He doesn't exactly have the best memory. But he did promise Gil something, didn't he...?]
boneafide: (pic#10021200)

[personal profile] boneafide 2016-03-18 09:47 pm (UTC)(link)
... Oh! I understand. I've failed to give you a greeting hug! You know, there are easier ways to ask for one, Gilgamesh!

[Placing the lion cub down on his lap, he holds his arms open wide.]

Feel free to ask for one any time!!