text, @TARANTO

[heavyhitter]

ok guys listen i got something i've been thinking about, no one's been able to answer it for me yet
check it out: deer dildos
???
do they use them? it doesn't have to be dildos anything sexy in general, that counts. i'm not buying there's any sentient sexually reproducing species out there that hasn't invented sex toys, so what do deer use. does it have to do with antlers?? i haven't put much thought into deer sex so i'm not working on much here, just tossing out ideas. lemme know, thanks



oh wait one more thing, i really wanna get off this island. i've seen everything and it's boring. these guys suck at technology right? and swimming. oh my god they're so pathetically useless

but WE are way better at both those things! so here's my proposal: we team up and use our evolved smarts and build a floating litter, or popemobile, or something, and get me over to the next island. good, right?? i think we can do it! we got science grandpa AND nerd granduncle running around here, and probably half a dozen other nerds i haven't dug up yet. we can do this. i believe in us. if there's any parties going on on the other islands, let's get me to them.

Comments

[heavyhitter]

oh yeah invisible smiles makes sense
what's his favorite kind of joke

[adoube]

nononono no

He smiles best when you give him tasty food!

[heavyhitter]

aw that's cute
what's his favorite kind

[adoube]

You can feed him and find out.........

[heavyhitter]

how does he take to seaweed

[adoube]

Don't be unkind.

[heavyhitter]

that's not unkind! people like seaweed, that's a thing

it's also super easy to get ahold of on an island

[adoube]

He's had too much 'sea' lately.

[heavyhitter]

oh yeah ok that's fair

what aabbbouuuuut creampuffs
our deer friends do a hell of a creampuff

[adoube]

............are you going to ask me about every single food that goes through your h e a d ?

[heavyhitter]

yeah that's basically the plan
i'm asking about deer dildos here i'm clearly not real busy

[adoube]

Are you "lonely"?

[heavyhitter]

i don't even know what that word means

[adoube]

Mmmmmmmm..................................

'When you're alone but craving not to be'!



[ the most helpful. ]

[heavyhitter]

what! this whole time i thought that was a kind of horse

this is beautiful bc he just learned what a horse is like two weeks ago

[adoube]

Nonononono. But I can tell you what a 'horse' looks like?

aw it was meant to be

[heavyhitter]

three legs and a frill that extends when it's about to spit venom, right?

[adoube]

Mmmmmmmmmm.... no!! They have four legs! And no frills... but thin, very short hair... and they're r e a l l y big! Really big! So big! Enormous! They could fall on you and crush you... it would be sad!

[heavyhitter]

i hope that's general you, there's no way a horse would crush ME

[adoube]

You don't even know what a horse is like............. a horse could certainly do that!

[heavyhitter]

YOU don't even know what I'M like

[adoube]

I know what you're like: humanoid. The majority of ALASTAIR recruits are h u m a n o i d. Your abilities fall in a constricted range.

A horse is muchmuchmuch more impressive!

[heavyhitter]

wow that horse really made an impression

anyway yeah i'm human but like human plus

[adoube]

Mmmmm.... you could be impressive too... if you grew very v e r y big......... and came with reins!

[heavyhitter]

reins and size is what impresses you? wow you gotta get out more