text, @TARANTO

[heavyhitter]

ok guys listen i got something i've been thinking about, no one's been able to answer it for me yet
check it out: deer dildos
???
do they use them? it doesn't have to be dildos anything sexy in general, that counts. i'm not buying there's any sentient sexually reproducing species out there that hasn't invented sex toys, so what do deer use. does it have to do with antlers?? i haven't put much thought into deer sex so i'm not working on much here, just tossing out ideas. lemme know, thanks



oh wait one more thing, i really wanna get off this island. i've seen everything and it's boring. these guys suck at technology right? and swimming. oh my god they're so pathetically useless

but WE are way better at both those things! so here's my proposal: we team up and use our evolved smarts and build a floating litter, or popemobile, or something, and get me over to the next island. good, right?? i think we can do it! we got science grandpa AND nerd granduncle running around here, and probably half a dozen other nerds i haven't dug up yet. we can do this. i believe in us. if there's any parties going on on the other islands, let's get me to them.

Comments

audio; [KINGOFHEROES]

[babbylon]

Perhaps they might call them... deerdos?

[Gilgamesh, King of Heroes, everybody. He'll be here all night. And also all morning.]

text

[aspearation]

HEY. You leave those deer alone!!

[ What is wrong with this human?! ]

audio

[heavyhitter]

[ !!!! gilgamesh she knew she could count on you ]

Oh my god, they better. There's no excuse for passing that one up.

[heavyhitter]

what, i am leaving the deer alone! in fact i'll leave them super alone if anyone can get me off this rock

[aspearation]

Alright. That can be arranged! You can swim, right? I don't have to aim for any land masses or anything like that??

1/2

[babbylon]

My peerless sense of humor aside, for what reason do you inquire? As such devices would never be large enough to satisfy the majority of us, it seems a waste of imagination to even consider the topic. Unless...

[Unless.]

[babbylon]

Were you planning on somehow pleasuring one of these deerfolk?

[Always asking the important questions.]

[heavyhitter]

i'm not gonna let you swim me into the middle of the ocean and drown me sorry we're not that good of friends yet

[aspearation]

Who said anything about swimming?? I was just gonna see how far I can toss you!

[heavyhitter]

Nah. I thought about it for a while, but I can't get into short and hairy. I just wanna know, like, what if I need to get one of them a present later on?

[heavyhitter]

wow somehow even less appealing, that's amazing, you got a real talent there

[babbylon]

Clever fingers are always a wonderful present for any species.

[Just, uh, look away, maybe? And fantasize about hot half-god men instead.]

[aspearation]

Hey! You said you wanted off, you didn't actually say how.

Wait... you CAN swim, right?!

[ That is absolutely a question that was asked and not answered. Given her experience with humans and water, it's hard to say. ]

text | username: evan

[evantuality]

We have a species here that, up until recently, could mould things into any shape with those Gifts of theirs. There's no way someone hasn't come up with something to stick somewhere unspeakable.

There's a rule back home: if it exists, there's porn of it. I think we can safely say it can be modified to societies that don't strictly seem to have porn as such. Oh but there's another question: are there dirty deer drawings on some bark somewhere around here? and if so, can they please never meet my eyes

You've seen everything? Have you been down into the lava tubes?

[heavyhitter]

yeah i can fucking swim i thought that was self evident since i'm not an idiot and didn't need answering

[ she learned to swim before the minor water phobia she picked up happened, ok ]

[heavyhitter]

Oh, good, then I bet there's a few lonely deer around here that would be happy to meet yours. Mine are busy, I got a lot of texting to do.

[babbylon]

And you are implying I am lonely enough in turn to sate them?

[heavyhitter]

I mean... you are kind of a huge asshole, so it's kinda hard to imagine people line up for you. So, maybe.

[babbylon]

I had an entire kingdom stuffing itself in my bed, once. You imagine wrong.

text / un: RHY5-W1NZ

[dbag]

WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP TALKING ABOUT DEER SEX OH MY GOD

[aspearation]

You're pretty touchy about it, huh? What, are you just not good at it? Scared a shark's gonna eat you? Those things WERE pretty big, guess I can't blame for you that.

[ All Undyne knows is that she hit a nerve. She's not just pushing buttons out of a weird sense of revenge (though it is cathartic) but because she thinks she can probably help if she can just figure out what nerve it is she hit. ]

text / un: PARTY

[wardance]

+1

text & un: PARTY

[wardance]

why dont you just ask them

audio; un: PARTY

[wardance]

[ you both have ruined the cute bambi species for him... why would you ever!?

but, hey, let him finish that answer for you, Gil: ]

—And that still wasn't enough for you, so technically she probably imagined at least half-right.

I hate you; text; un: coolskeleton95

[boneafide]

WHAT'S A DILDO??