text 💎 un: Tohsaka Rin

[defenceless]

If anyone knows how to melt gold, get in contact with me.

[because someone lost her fire powers. yep, that's it. for the most part...

but a brief addition to the message appears a second later.]

If your suggestion is to make something phallic out of it, feel free to still reply. That way I'll know who to mark for execution.

Comments

[defenceless]

Good. You only get results if you're brutal, Papyrus.

[boneafide]

I DISAGREE WITH THAT SENTIMENT, BUT I WON'T ARGUE IN THIS ONE PARTICULAR CASE!!

she's not crying but really she is

[defenceless]

Do you really not know who the children are...?

[maybe she should give him a quick lesson on who they're actually protecting here.]

he's also not crying, he just has water in his eyes

[boneafide]

OH WAIT, I JUST REMEMBERED, THERE'S ONE BABY!!!!

HIS NAME IS KING.

[King is like a million year old Fairy. He's not a baby. But try telling that to Papyrus.]

ok

[defenceless]

They're already having babies in ALASTAIR?!

[please slow your roll, thirsty recruits.]

[boneafide]

WHO'S "THEY"????

[defenceless]

I-I don't know! Someone's! They're all perverted... Countless recruits are perverted...

Whose baby is he, Papyrus?

[boneafide]

OH OKAY, YOU MEANT THE ROYAL "THEY".

[No... not... really...]

I DON'T KNOW, I FOUND HIM IN THE DUNGEON IN OSKA!

[defenceless]

[what is happening]

They would hide a baby in the dungeon, to escape their shame.

[boneafide]

[A Conversation With Papyrus As Usual.]

WHAT'S SHAMEFUL ABOUT HAVING A BABY? I'VE ALWAYS WANTED ONE!

[defenceless]

People usually don't like the evidence of their rampant promiscuity hanging out there in the open.

Added on to that, I don't even know how monsters have babies. Maybe it's another question for Sans.

[boneafide]

OH NO, I KNOW THIS ONE!

FIRST, WHEN TWO MONSTERS REALLY LOVE EACH OTHER...

[defenceless]

[oh, wow. there is a story behind it?!

And...?

[sorry, papyrus, she is also sinful as hell.]

[boneafide]

AND YOU FAILED THE TEST, RIN. IF HAVING BABIES IS PERVERSE, THEN WE SHOULDN'T BE TALKING ABOUT IT ON THE NETWORK! NUMBER ONE DUTY OF A DEFENDER OF INNOCENCE AND JUSTICE!!

wow

[defenceless]

It was purely an intellectual curiosity.

[for the most part, that's pretty much the truth. you can't say you're a race of monsters, with many distinctive participants, and you're made of magic without having a magus wonder how new monsters are created.]

But, whatever. Suit yourself. Are we done here? Let's continue to keep a close eye on the network.

look im not about to make up a "how monster babies are made" headcanon for you

[boneafide]

I SUPPOSE IF IT'S REALLY IMPORTANT TO YOU, I CAN TELL YOU IN PERSON.

you can shame me on plurk tho

[defenceless]

No, Papyrus. Unfortunately, you've already embarrassed me.

ill shame everyone on plurk

[boneafide]

...WAIT, REALLY??

you can't be stopped

[defenceless]

Yes. Show more discretion around the fragile feelings of young women.

[boneafide]

I AM VERY SORRY I EMBARRASSED YOU!

BUT I'M ALSO NOT GOING TO GENERALIZE THAT ALL YOUNG WOMEN HAVE FRAGILE FEELINGS.

i feel like he's constantly [kermit sipping tea] around her

[defenceless]

What are you on about? I am a young woman, so I can speak about young women. Isn't it always better to be a gentleman around a lady?

just a little bit

[boneafide]

I WOULDN'T WANT TO BE... NOT A GENTLEMAN. BUT I WAS ALWAYS TOLD NOT TO TREAT CERTAIN GROUPS OF MONSTERS DIFFERENT FROM EACH OTHER, UNLESS IT WAS LIKE "DON'T BRING A FIRE-MONSTER TO WATERFALL" SORT OF THING!

I'LL STILL BE CAREFUL OF YOUR DELICATE-AS-A-WILTING-FLOWER FEELINGS THOUGH, RIN!

i can't believe it

[defenceless]

Yes, but this is different. Manners, Papyrus. Chivalry. It's important to be considerate of everyone's feelings, but especially young women, who are...

You know what? Never mind. You'll understand when you're older, or when you go out on more dates, whichever comes first.

And I'm not as frail as a wilting flower! Stop making me upset!

she just has a different set of Standards than he does...

[boneafide]

NO, WAIT, I WANT TO KNOW HOW TO BE CHIVALROUS!! I THOUGHT I KNEW, BUT I GUESS I ONLY KNEW HOW TO BE CHIVALROUS TO MONSTERS AND NOT HUMANS?

I'M NOT TRYING TO MAKE YOU UPSET!! BUT YOU SAID I NEEDED TO BE DELICATE!! I AM DELICATE WITH FLOWERS!!

she lives by the standards of satan

[defenceless]

I'll give you lessons sometime. I promise.

Call me a flower, then, and not a wilting one. If you call a girl or woman just a flower, it's charming. Unless you're some skeevy tryhard like Gilgamesh, that is. He could call you a "flower" and it's disgusting.