futurology | video | un: drdeath

[The feed shows Law leaning on a table, in a much better mood than he was in his last address to the network. If you pay attention, you might notice Olivia puttering around in the background amidst an assortment of boxes.]

Now that we're all back in Oska with our powers restored, I'd like to formally offer my services as a doctor and surgeon to the team. Especially those of you with what you think are incurable diseases.
[A pause as he turns his head to answer a question from Olivia, inaudible from this far away.]
Just sort them by expiration date, if it's past the date then throw it out.

More importantly... [Law rests his chin on his hand as he turns back to the feed, inadvertently showing off his fingers tattooed with the letters "DEAT".... Given his username you can guess what letter is on the thumb. It's all the more sinister with that lazy smirk on his face. Literally nothing about him says "legitimate doctor."] For all you heroic and daring types out there, be a little more reckless, won't you? We've got to give Olivia-ya here some hands on practice.

[ This time you can hear Olivia yelp "Mr. Law!" In the background, but before she can protest further, he ends the feed.]

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[It's a PERFECTLY GOOD NAME that actually has a sentimental meaning to it but Law would never bring that up to a stranger.]

... That isn't our primary goal but that actually is something I can do.

[And before Riza can mistakenly think that it's the cheezy idiomatic meaning;]
I delivered one hundred pirate hearts to the Marines, once.

[It's hard to interpret that as anything but entirely literal.]

[Man, after nearly nine months with ALASTAIR and all its eccentricities, one would think that Riza would be used to strange and incomprehensible statements such as this one.

And yet.]

—Excuse me?

[But why???]

Exactly what it sounds like.

[He could explain that his ability allowed him to remove all these hearts without damaging them or even hurting the owner, but where's the fun in that, honestly.]

It was a necessary part of my plans.

[Not making the best of impressions here, Dr. Law. Her voice is decidedly cool when she replies, judgment withheld due to the simple fact that she doesn't have the whole picture yet.]

And what plans were those?

[Law is great at making horrible first impressions, one time he flipped off a guy he just met.]

I don't see how that's information I need to be giving out to strangers. It's unrelated to my medical practice.
[Suspicious.]

[That's how it's gonna be, huh. Riza frowns, some of her disapproval carrying into her voice.]

We may be strangers, but for the time being we're all part of the same team. [A very disorganized and rowdy team, but a team nonetheless.] The more we know about each other, the better we'll be able to make decisions that leverage our individual skills on further missions.

[He has problems with being told what to do, sorry about him. Still, after a moment he sighs and relents. Sort of.]

I needed a certain exemption status the Marines could give me. I used it to take down the pirate that killed the man I owe my life to.

If you must have more details than that, I'd ask at the very least I be told who exactly I'm speaking to.

[And she has problems with being overly harsh in certain aspects so it all evens out in the end. But as far as explanations go, it's......still not great but more understandable now.]

That won't be necessary. [No apology for overstepping personal bounds, but she does seem to have backed off for the moment.] Though I can certainly introduce myself; I probably should have done so earlier.

[Since they're all gonna be stuck together for the foreseeable future and all that.]

Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye, Amestris State Military.

[He knew it, he fucking KNEW IT]

Interesting how you insist on using your military title that doesn't have any power or meaning behind it here, Lieutenant.
["Fuck the police" mode on full blast now.]

[Excuse her? The emphasis on her given rank's enough to bring an edge to her voice, to mirror his own.]

Perhaps not, but it was the title I responded to most frequently for the majority of my adult life. It's as much a part of me as the title 'doctor' is to you, and it reminds me of my duty to my people and my teammates.

"Doctor" isn't a title I use. It's simply what I am.
[Also he doesn't have a medical license, this has been established.]
My title would be "Captain," but it tells nothing about what I've done or what I'm capable of.

Then again, I suppose ascribing meaning and purpose to a pointless title is exactly the sort of thing they encourage in the military.

[Don't be rude.

But while she can't exactly argue with the stupid bureaucracy that makes up 99% of the military, his overgeneralization of her person - before he's even gotten to know her - rankles.]

They encourage many things in the military, many of which are less than praiseworthy. I'm not here to defend the military as an institution, nor even to defend my own title, I'm here to do my job; whether or not you find my rank laughable and meaningless is irrelevant.

video | un: drdeath

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