futurology | Entries tagged with dick gumshoe (ace attorney)

Hello, friends! Or, if we are not already friends, we will be, soon!!

[To those who know him, this is Papyrus. To those who don't… this is Papyrus. He's a walking, talking, magic skeleton.]

I have a request! Since we are on the topic of small things that emit slime…

...Has anyone seen my brother, Sans?

[He pauses, his positive attitude sobering if only for a split second, before it returns in full force.]

I am sure he's just sleeping somewhere! Maybe in a pile of snow, and then is covered over by a new layer- that's happened before. Or… maybe he's still in Oska! I haven't seen him since the mission started, so perhaps we have just left him behind! Of course, he would be so lazy to just forget to attend the missions!!

[Papyrus goes quiet again, looking off-screen at his squidge.]

…I could really use some advice on how to take care of someone younger than me.

naturallywavy

_{[ God, he cannot even remember the last time he addressed the network as a whole, but here is a video of one wavy haired samurai— eyes half opened as he stares into the camera. He seems to be sitting under a tree, and lifts a hand as a greeting. ]}

Yo.
I’m sure all of you have taken a look at what we’re in for next. I know it’s annoying, but crap like this happens sometimes, and it can’t be helped. You think to escape another season and get off scot-free, then something like this… it happens..

_{[ A dramatic pause. ]}
A baby arc.

Look, the best thing to do is just stay calm when this happens. If you get too nervous, you’ll just be throwing up. And we don’t need that— there’s gonna be plenty of baby puke as it is.
I know some of you are gonna mess this up because it’s nothing you’ve ever gone through before. Some of you aren’t fit to be parents and some of you should probably never procreate anyway. Like you’re the leftover putty that God didn’t know what to really do with and there shouldn’t be miniatures of you existing after your death. That’s okay. _{[ he just insulted a bunch of unnamed people casually, brushing it off with a “that’s okay.” ]}

It’s important that we do this mission right. For those people that are stupid when it comes to care—taking, we will be offering our advice and counsel.

_{[ We? Who is the we he is talking about? Out of nowhere, he pulls this thing into the shot. Yeah, the purple haired blow up doll, which was a gift he received from ALASTAIR some months ago. His voice sounds calm and very polite suddenly: ]}

We’ve been happily taking care of children for years if you need help before the mission starts. Thank you, thank you.

kikoku

[The feed shows Law leaning on a table, in a much better mood than he was in his last address to the network. If you pay attention, you might notice Olivia puttering around in the background amidst an assortment of boxes.]

Now that we're all back in Oska with our powers restored, I'd like to formally offer my services as a doctor and surgeon to the team. Especially those of you with what you think are incurable diseases.
[A pause as he turns his head to answer a question from Olivia, inaudible from this far away.]
Just sort them by expiration date, if it's past the date then throw it out.

More importantly... [Law rests his chin on his hand as he turns back to the feed, inadvertently showing off his fingers tattooed with the letters "DEAT".... Given his username you can guess what letter is on the thumb. It's all the more sinister with that lazy smirk on his face. Literally nothing about him says "legitimate doctor."] For all you heroic and daring types out there, be a little more reckless, won't you? We've got to give Olivia-ya here some hands on practice.

[ This time you can hear Olivia yelp "Mr. Law!" In the background, but before she can protest further, he ends the feed.]

respired

[ Koltira's standing in what seems to be some kind of schoolhouse theater. There's a projector beside him, largely untouched by the ravages of water or time, and a clear enough screen just ahead. The room itself is still in shambles; the floor is thick with debris and student paraphernalia--books, pens, ripped sheets of paper. Koltira taps his fingers on the projector, agitated.

Ashraf and Kida are nearby, looking on, though the frame does not show either of them fully. ]

I have something to show you.

[ His deep voice is low, still, dangerous. Tight with barely constrained rage. He presses a button on the projector, and turns his jewelry so that the screen fills the frame.

The following scene plays: ]

( cut for DEATH N DESTRUCTION )

trenchdoting

[A tall, scruffy man in an old trenchcoat sends out a message through the jewelry, looking very befuddled at first as he does so.]

Hey! Um, hello? Is this thing on? [He taps at his jewelry a few times.] I bet that did the trick!

So! Hey, pals. I'm Scruffy. ...Wait, no, that's not right! I'm Dick Gumshoe. Detective. At your service, pals!! I can get a lot done, especially now that I've got one of my secret weapons at hand!

[He conspicuously waves a metal detector around.]

In fact, this bad boy just picked up something along the coast! I'm gonna go and... investigate it and all, pals! If anyone wants to lend a hand... sure, go ahead! If it's treasure, we can split it!

[Gumshoe pauses for a moment, and then he chuckles as something comes to mind.]

Oh right! There's one more thing I wanted to ask you all. I stayed up all night wondering about it!! If you could have one of those gift-powers for your own, and you could pick it, what would it be? I think I came up with a pretty smart answer, but I wanna see what you all think!

Um... Gumshoe out, pals!

[ooc: This is what Gumshoe will unearth! You can feel free to assume/handwave that Gumshoe spread word of its discovery after the fact.]

FUTUROLOGY NETWORK.

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