( video | un: 10-65 )

[construing]

[ on-screen: ( 1 ) gwen stacy, a completely normal college student, wide-eyed, frowning. this is serious. a tragedy in motion. ]

I know we're all busy what with smashing bugs, do they even still count as bugs when you can spike them like a football? [ gwen stacy, asking the tough questions, ] but I have an emergency. See this? [ she holds up a cell phone in front of her face. the background reads "THE MARY JANES." the eagle-eyed will note the battery symbol in the corner: warning red. ]

This is my life. Not only is it my life, it's sitting at less than 10% charge so if I don’t get a charger for it pronto, I will literally die.

[ """""""literally.""""""" ]

Somebody has to have one. Help me, Samsung-Juan, whoever you are. You're my only hope.

[ other people have questions starting with "how" and "why" and "what the actual f—" gwen stacy, however, has #priorities. ]

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VIDEO. UN: LOKI

[selfimage]

[ guess who's waving his fully charged StarkPhone at her and pulling at the lapel of his jacket with his opposite hand. ]

So, someone's got you covered. It's too bad there's no way for Inter-dimensional-Gs? Inter-Gs? 4-D?

[ enough with the wordplay. ]

[figureitout]

Yeah, well, I'd refuse too, except they're not exactly big on this whole consent thing.

[ Such is the life in ALASTAIR... you get baseball bats without asking, but somehow proper phone management is way too hard. ]

But, I mean, maybe someone has some kind of charger and you can still access your stuff? If you can, I'm so coming over to listen to music, okay, my phone's in pieces for science and the only music I've seen around here was this old cd with music from, like, the 50s. [ IT WAS HORRIBLE. please imagine this and shudder along with him. ]

[construing]

[ her life truly is a joke. the absolute heights ( or would it be depths? definitely one of the two ) of absurdity. the kind of life where one of her closest friends is a cartoon pig with spider powers who likes to eat corn dogs.

( she doesn't care how much spider-ham claims that it's not cannibalism. it's disgusting and horrifying, and she is never inviting him to any meal. ever again. ever. )

gwen smiles, a pressed lip gesture trying to hold back a desperate laugh at further proof that her life is so fucking stupid, and more than a little surprised that he didn't take the opportunity for a skeleton pun of some sort ( strip it down to its bare bones; call someone on the telebone; really, not one? )

she tips her head. ] Please be my friend.

[heavyhitter]

Alright, I'm not knocking on doors until I find you, wander your ass down to the kitchen and I'll get you your charge.

[boneafide]

[Look. He'll do puns. He'll do all kinds of puns. But skeleton puns specifically feel more like Sans territory. Maybe he'll make a joke about how she seems to be dialing up the drama about her phone. Or how perhaps instead of using her phone, she needs to find another outlet.

But she's said the magic words of "please be my friend" and now he's screaming. Like, actually yelling, with excited shaking fists and little bunny hops of excitement.]

AAAAAAAAAAA!!

[Clearly, the best first impression.]

YOU WANT TO BE FRIENDS, SO QUICKLY?? I MEAN, OF COURSE YOU DO, BECAUSE I AM GREAT, AND WHO WOULDN'T WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH ME!! But- wow!! So fast!!

[competing]

[ don't be jealous of how cool he is... >:'c ]

Uh, no. Not technically.

[ HEAR HIM OUT THOUGH— ]

But I have something even better! [ or rather... ] More like someone. Who can probably build you what you need. In, like, an afternoon. [ if she's feeling lazy. ]

video. un: p.parker

[webdesigned]

( that face is oddly disconcerting, even though he can barely say why. blonde girls are no excuse to lose your mind, right? he can handle blonde girls. )

Uh, I think I can help you out. They don't exactly have ac plugs in this place, but, I've got an old charger I could convert to battery powered.

[construing]

If I'm not there in ten, send a search team because I got lost.

[ castle + hallways + new = she's gotten lost about six times already. ]

Thanks, by the way.

[construing]

[ gwen waves a dismissive hand. ]

Everything's on the cloud back home. [ more importantly, ] I don't have any money on me.

[construing]

If you ask my dad, that's exactly what it does.

[ g w e n. ]

[construing]

Oh my God. [ how are you alive, stiles. how are you alive right now. ]

Okay, I'm asking around. The minute I get one, I'll let you know. This kind of cruel and unusual punishment cannot stand.

[construing]

[ gwen flinches at the sudden change in volume. rather than regret her choice of words, however, ( she might regret it later ) this is the final nail on the this-is-amazing-and-she-needs-to-call-him-her-friend-yesterday coffin. ]

Gotta seize great opportunities as they come, right? What are the chances of this meeting happening again?

[ and it'll be mutually beneficial. gwen gets to expand her life experiences in newly ridiculous directions and papyrus gets someone to fill the sans-skeleton jokes space left behind. which she would have done even with sans present lbh. ]

[construing]

[ ah, yes. she sees you. she sees your phone. she'd hate if she didn't already have offers lined up.

not that that'll stop any sass. ]

We're up to five, didn't you hear? [ theoretically and soon to come respectively, but he won't know. ]

Your info's almost as outdated as your phone.

[construing]

[ gwen sees the username, and her heart stutters on its way to her throat. gwen sees the name, then the face, and her stomach seizes like she was sucker-punched.

after meeting several dozen spider-men, she's grown pretty damn good at recognizing peters no matter which universe she finds herself in. ( the name is also a helpful clue. ) after meeting so many, one would think she'd have gotten used to peter parker's face once more. she hasn't.

the dramatics fall by the wayside. meeting another peter is not unlike navigating a floor strewn with glass. without powers. for most of them, she's dead ( killed by physics — she never did care for that class. ) she had to be abrupt with a lot of them, not out of desire but necessity. because they were in trouble. because they were all dying. because they couldn't afford for any of them to be distracted over one when they needed to focus on all.

it was easier, too. easier to think of peter, to try to help him, ease him somehow.

his name is still a lump in her throat past which she has to struggle to swallow. ]

Yeah. [ she nods a touch too quickly. pull it together, she scolds herself. she regrets using video now with every fiber of her being. a heads up would have been great, but she can handle this. she can. she can do this. ]

Yeah, that'd be great. Thanks, Pete.

[construing]

[ seeing as he's about as cool as a hot plate… ]

Is this person any of the ones who already offered?

[boneafide]

[He's so excited. He's ascendent levels of excited. He loves making new friends. He loves it even more, when other people propose to be friends first. Because sometimes he feels like he's being pushy, and he wouldn't want that... But to have someone so impressed with him, they would ask to be friends, so quickly?? ]

Well, if time was reversed, then there's a very high chance of this happening again! But yes! Yes, I accept! Your offer of friendship!! I- I don't even know your name!! Mine is Papyrus!

[competing]

[ ah, so you think he's hot. ]

Uh. Hang on—

[ he has to check and — yep. dangit. of course she would have responded already. flashing a gadget through the network's pretty much like dangling a carrot in front of a really nerdy bunny.

he sighs a bit. ]

Yeah. The little one, with the floofy hair and glasses? That'd be Pidge.

[reverseengineer]

[She blinks, looking honestly confused.] ...money?

[How did this come up what does this have to do with anything what.]

[selfimage]

I lost track of Gs when my joke missed the punchline.

[ he slips the phone back beneath the lapel of his jacket and his lips curl up at the corners. ]

Or that I'm no longer in need of them. Sorcery tends to do the trick when I'm in need of more bars.

[construing]

So when we need a multiversal connection, we know who to call?

[selfimage]

Well, that depends. You won't be able to call without it, will you?

[ he's all too proud of his phone + inter-dimensional jokes. ]

[secondnature]

[Who knows what time Voltron takes place in so—]

What do you use your phone for that doesn't require signal?

[construing]

[ gwen shakes her head. ]

I gotta switch services. My roaming sucks.

[construing]

To pay? [ just as confused. ]

I'd go for an IOU, but I have no idea when I could pay you back.

[construing]

Apps. Games. Music. Taking photos. Videos. Books. Alarms. Reminders. A calendar. A clock. A calculator. Oh!

[ she points away from her as an important function occurs to her. ]

The flash is a hell of a flashlight. That thing will blind you.