( video | un: 10-65 )

[construing]

[ on-screen: ( 1 ) gwen stacy, a completely normal college student, wide-eyed, frowning. this is serious. a tragedy in motion. ]

I know we're all busy what with smashing bugs, do they even still count as bugs when you can spike them like a football? [ gwen stacy, asking the tough questions, ] but I have an emergency. See this? [ she holds up a cell phone in front of her face. the background reads "THE MARY JANES." the eagle-eyed will note the battery symbol in the corner: warning red. ]

This is my life. Not only is it my life, it's sitting at less than 10% charge so if I don’t get a charger for it pronto, I will literally die.

[ """""""literally.""""""" ]

Somebody has to have one. Help me, Samsung-Juan, whoever you are. You're my only hope.

[ other people have questions starting with "how" and "why" and "what the actual f—" gwen stacy, however, has #priorities. ]

Comments

video | un: navigator

[weatherscience]

... is your life force really connected to that box?

[ on-screen: ( 1 ) nami, brown eyes blinking in confusion. please excuse her she hasn't even had the phones-computers-technology debate with anyone yet, and thus is entirely ignorant to the miracle of smartphones. ]

un: redlion; video

[secondnature]

Uh, do you actually even get signal here? Because if that's your only hope, you might be screwed.

[A beat.]

I don't know if ALASTAIR is big on funerals, though. Maybe they'll just feed you to the bugs.

[Helpful.]

video | username: xXx_trueblue_xXx

[competing]

Well, hello to you too.

[ not that he's complaining about the abruptness of her message, or anything. in fact, he's looking on in clear interest... though one might note his eyes are not on that cell phone. ]

You're in luck, babe. I just so happen to be in the business of saving lives.

[ blah blah defender of the universe etc blah ]

video ; un: man of still

[figureitout]

Nnnnope, sorry, I gave mine to a friend to dissect. [ Actually, that reminds him, did Peter ever make anything of them... maybe he should ask what came of his noble sacrifice. ]

I mean, I guess you could, like, ask Lloyd of Human Resources to get you a charger, he's the closest to a Samsung-Juan you're gonna get, but it's not like they have anything else here either. No Google or Facebook games or snapchat, it's literally the worst, better just get used to it.

[ He waves his hand, and, with the most laconic tone he can muster, ] Welcome to the Dark Ages.

video | un: apocalypseArisen

[timebender]

Then you had better start getting your affairs in order, and quickly, by the looks of it! The last 10% always goes quicker than the first 10%.

[ Despite being very visibly alien, it seems as though she can bring on the human teenager sarcasm just as well as the rest of them... ]

video, @TARANTO

[heavyhitter]

[ oh look she was made for this, time to be a hero!!! ]

I so got you covered. [ She shifts, to pull out and present a little slender, black rectangular thing, and looks very smug about it. ] Check it out — solar universal charger. The universe got a little brighter when someone invented this.

video | un: southpaw

[reverseengineer]

I could probably build one. [Pidge adjusts her glasses and leans in.] But it won't be as useful for you as you're expecting. I don't think this place gets outside signals.

[construing]

[ and here we have the modern young adult in her natural setting. ]

Yes.

[ 100% genuine. ]

[construing]

Who said anything about a signal? This isn't early 2000s.

[ who uses smartphones?? as phones??? anymore???? offensive. ]

[construing]

[ …somehow, she gets the feeling those x's are not, in any way, ironic.

it's like staring into the void and finding the early millennium staring back.

gwen suppresses a shudder. ]

So you have one?

[construing]

Nuh-uh. I refuse. There's a reason we moved past those.

[ she gives her head an emphatic shake to punctuate just how much no. no matter where she was, there was always a charger nearby. or she could ask pavitr to rig one out of scrap.

this concept? is heinous. ]

My life is on this thing. My music is on this thing!

[ because the latter does, in fact, supersede the former. ]

[construing]

[ huh.

as long as she's not a vampire alien who wants to eat and kill every spider in existence, she's okay in gwen's book. ]

Lucky me, then, that I have nothing to resolve. Can you do me a favor, though? When I die, find a way to get this working. Pick a playlist, any playlist, play me out with it. I'll star my favorites.

[construing]

[ give her a moment to do a magnificent impersonation of a goldfish because what? where? she wants ten???? ]

Are you fucking kidding me?

…Tell me you're not kidding.

[construing]

[ why do people keep thinking she wants to make calls????

( because you're holding a phone, gwen. because that was and remains its primary purpose. ) ]

When I need to make multiversal calls, I'll trade this one in. I just need this to work.

[heavyhitter]

Not even one little joke here. [ She gives it a wiggle, just in case this lady doubts its solidity. ] You're on your own for signal, but there's no reason to give up selfies just because you're in a weird new dimension.

[construing]

[ gwen laughs. ] I thought I was going to be stuck here without my music! You are the real MVP.

[ the hero they deserve, etc. ]

I'll give it back as soon as it's done. [ so please can has now? ]

[heavyhitter]

Yeah, I know. [ thanks gwen, she really doesn't need any more ego inflation ]

Alright, where are you?

[reverseengineer]

You can't send emails or check the internet from it either. [It doesn't get any signals. Any of them.]

You'll have access to anything stored on it, but that's all.

video; un: coolskeleton95

[boneafide]

[Yes, it's an actual skeleton. HALLOWEEN'S EARLY.]

Oh! I had a phone once!!

If your phone does die, don't worry, I know just what to do!

[weatherscience]

Ehhhh?

[ Can that be....... ] Is it like a reverse-vivre card? Instead of showing when your life force is burning away, it takes it away? [ Should she call Torao-kun, this girl might be in need of a doctor. ]

[construing]

[ oh my god.



please be her friend. ]

Okay, I'll bite. What would you do?

[construing]

Yes.

[ that's??? the point??? ]

[construing]

[ for a universal charger, she deserves the unnecessary boost. ]

My room, I guess? It was empty when I came in. I don't know if there's assigned rooms in this place.

[boneafide]

Give it a nice funeral.

[reverseengineer]

[She's JUST SAYING.]

Well like I said, I can build something to charge it. But it might be worth backing up your files if they're that important to you.