FruitsParfaitSamurai ✗ [ 1 ] WHEN YOU HAVE NOBODY TO TALK TO ON THE TOILET, TEXT YOUR FRIENDS

[naturallywavy]

this is probably the only textng kind of message your going to get from me for everyone
i dont just send messages ! dont go wondering and endeing up all heartbroken and crap cause i havent messaged you back
this kind of thing takes patience which i dont have time for
but ive got nothing better to do and ill probably going to be here for awhile

what side are you on
why are you on that side
anybody else like screw it im gonna be on the fuck-its side
this kinda conversation isnt what you what than fine i have a crisis on my hands anyw ay

more importantly
what i have on my hands right now
its an emergency

SOS SOS SOS SOS
call the manager asap
sue the chef cause there was a crotch hair in my yakisoba sorta emergency
that kind of emeregency

if your around the outhouse near the den in city square
bring me something to wipe my ass with

ill give you
something




maybe

Comments

[digophelia]

If you insist on talking about this, I will break your fingers.

[naturallywavy]

it draws attention away from all of the other sounds
_{[ alright, he's done. he's done. he's gotta get his amusement somewhere, especially without JUMP to read. ]}

if you ever end up stuck in this situation
ill make sure to get paper to you
promise

_{[ He never breaks promises.
... Never intentionally, at least. ]}

[digophelia]

Do you ever obsess over something normal?

[naturallywavy]

<sub>[ He could reply with all sorts of things for this. His obsession over sweets, manga, being the main character it an extensive series, his iconic character design, etc.

The eyes of a pretty woman are something else he can obsess over.
—along with her ass, but that's not the point. He won't bring up these points. ]</sub>

do people normally not obsess over sweets
is it because theyre not in touch with their inner child

[digophelia]

Yes, yes, I know. Liking sweets is perfectly fine and there is nothing wrong with that.

[ She'd rather hear him talk about sweets than that. ]

[naturallywavy]

so what are you talking about that aint normal
_{[ all of these things he obsesses over.. it's normal in his world. ]}

[digophelia]

It seems rather normal for you. I don't think you would do very well with "eat me" cake and cookies.

[naturallywavy]

youre talking like youre supposed to do other things with cake and cookies
id be fine
_{[ I mean, Gintoki can think of several different things, but he doesn't feel right talking about that to somebody who is so much younger than him. ]}

[digophelia]

[ She's not being entirely serious as she explains it, it's her way of joking, adding bits of Wonderland, to see how he reacts. ]

Oh, no, it's much more than that. If you eat anything that says "eat me", it changes your size. You'll grow into a giant.

[naturallywavy]

can it make only specific parts about you big
_{[ GINTOKI .. ]}

[digophelia]

[ Thankfully, Alice has no idea what the hell he's talking about. ]

No, they don't, they never do. I don't know what you mean.

[naturallywavy]

_{[ A precious cinnamon roll. Gintoki doesn't need to corrupt her. ]}
it makes all of you big?
thats really lame

why would anybody eat that
other than if maybe it was strawberry

[digophelia]

Strawberry, vanilla, or chocolate. Anything that you could imagine!

[naturallywavy]

_{[ well I mean. that sounds pretty good.... ..... nevermind he doesn't understand this whole growing bigger crap. ]}

may i please have one
one of each

_{[ MANNERS ...???? THERE ARE MANNERS HERE?????? ]}

[digophelia]

[ That... is actually very touching. She isn't sure why, but it is. She's smiling and it takes a little time for her to respond. ]

Shall I ever find them again, you can have as many as you want.

[naturallywavy]

ill eat all of them
you might get one but if not you can clean the dishes
_{[ that touching moment is gone as quick as it came. ]}

how giant are we talking about here
like donquixote doflamingo kind of giant or something more like gekko moriah kind of giant

[digophelia]

Then you can eat all of them and I'll get you a bib as well, so you don't sully your clothing. I shan't be doing your laundry.

[ She's fairly amused he's humoring her. ]

Bigger than all of the taller buildings here, of course! Several meters high.

[naturallywavy]

_{[ doesn't even??? retaliate about the bib thing tbh ... ]}
thats great
but what happens if you have to poop and the toilet is too small

[digophelia]

Drink shrinking potion.

[ Not this again. ]

[naturallywavy]

does that also come in chocolate vanilla and strawberry

[digophelia]

It tastes like cherry tart, custard, pineapple, roast turkey, toffy, and hot buttered toast with each sip. I suppose neither of those would be stretch.

[naturallywavy]

so i guess not then right
_{[ GROSS. ]}

[digophelia]

Oh, don't be silly, it's not so terrible. That aside, how's about this -- I will promise to find you an assortment of cookies and you can have them all. Certainly not the ones that will make you grow. I don't want to think what you would do, truth be told.

[naturallywavy]

free cookies????
_{[ oh, he's really paying attention now. ]}

[digophelia]

Yes. I promise I will get you cookies.

[ Lucky for him, Alice makes good on her word. ]