ᴋᴏʟᴛɪʀᴀ ·sᴜɴsʜɪɴᴇ· ᴅᴇᴀᴛʜᴡᴇᴀᴠᴇʀ (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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futurology2016-11-06 08:01 pm
respired) wrote in futurology2016-11-06 08:01 pm
video; un: deathweaver
[ Koltira's sitting on a flat rock, long legs stretched out, a bottle of something dark and high proof in one hand--a souvenir from the remains of the saloon. He's surrounded by cacti and tall, spiky yucca plants; the silhouette of Perdition's Rest is not far behind him, due west. He's close enough to reach by a quick walk, but not so close that he's in the middle of everyone and their campfires and their singing and their camaraderie and so on. A thin dusting of snow coats everything, though close inspection reveals a mirror-like sheet of ice slowly crackling its way into being over the rock, as though animated of its own accord.
A few people have seen him since that terrible week, but not many. He's cleaned up since then. No more chains. Back in his fine, planet-appropriate clothes--long, black coat, stylish hat, boots with sharp spurs. He has new, red tattoos on one hand, and his pale hair is done up in a thick braid that falls over his shoulder.
He leans forward, pulling his right leg up and draping his arm over his knee. He looks miserable. And a little drunk. ]
No one regrets what transpired more than me. I was not in control of myself, though it's no excuse. An apology feels weak and inadequate, but you have it from me, a hundred times, a thousand times.
[ He takes a drink from the bottle. A long drink. ]
I will do what I can to atone, within reason. If you wish me never to look your way again, I will not. If you wish to strike me, you may, though I will defend myself against a lethal blow. If you have something else in mind, tell me.
I will work with Sieglinde, for whatever fruit that bears. It may bear nothing, but I'll endure the attempt.
[ The guilt in his expression, pulling at his mouth and furrowing his eyebrows, hardens. He clenches his jaw. ]
Yet, understand this. I will never be a slave again. Not to any of you, nor to anyone else. I will not beg, and I will not scrape. I will not kneel. And you do not have the right to decide my destiny. None of you do. That's my decision, and mine alone.
[ He sets the bottle down. Shuts his eyes. Last time this happened, he had given a lengthy explanation. He had laid bare the facts of himself: what he was, how he came to be that way. But not this time. He will not open a vein for nothing; he will not suffer dismissal on top of scorn. Not over his past.
Besides, as guilty as he is, as deeply and truly remorseful, he's still angry, too. ]
I have nothing more to say.
A few people have seen him since that terrible week, but not many. He's cleaned up since then. No more chains. Back in his fine, planet-appropriate clothes--long, black coat, stylish hat, boots with sharp spurs. He has new, red tattoos on one hand, and his pale hair is done up in a thick braid that falls over his shoulder.
He leans forward, pulling his right leg up and draping his arm over his knee. He looks miserable. And a little drunk. ]
No one regrets what transpired more than me. I was not in control of myself, though it's no excuse. An apology feels weak and inadequate, but you have it from me, a hundred times, a thousand times.
[ He takes a drink from the bottle. A long drink. ]
I will do what I can to atone, within reason. If you wish me never to look your way again, I will not. If you wish to strike me, you may, though I will defend myself against a lethal blow. If you have something else in mind, tell me.
I will work with Sieglinde, for whatever fruit that bears. It may bear nothing, but I'll endure the attempt.
[ The guilt in his expression, pulling at his mouth and furrowing his eyebrows, hardens. He clenches his jaw. ]
Yet, understand this. I will never be a slave again. Not to any of you, nor to anyone else. I will not beg, and I will not scrape. I will not kneel. And you do not have the right to decide my destiny. None of you do. That's my decision, and mine alone.
[ He sets the bottle down. Shuts his eyes. Last time this happened, he had given a lengthy explanation. He had laid bare the facts of himself: what he was, how he came to be that way. But not this time. He will not open a vein for nothing; he will not suffer dismissal on top of scorn. Not over his past.
Besides, as guilty as he is, as deeply and truly remorseful, he's still angry, too. ]
I have nothing more to say.
audio | un: Princess
I am uncertain of what may have happened as I was not here, but I think you must be strong for trying to atone. It is... not an easy thing to do.
[ It's what she's trying to do now, anyway. For all the fucked up things that have happened, all that she's caused along with their friends. Forgiveness seems impossible, but atonement... that is. That can be grasped through working hard and pushing yourself to make yourself better and stronger. ]
I wish you good luck in your endeavors.
no subject
Kind words, stranger. Would that I were strong enough to somehow resist this curse entirely.
[ But no such amount of strength exists--not in him, nor in anyone. Even his commanding officer was vulnerable to the endless hunger.
But, for as much as he's wallowing in self-loathing and guilt at present, he's still got a pretty keen ear. A moment passes, and he adds-- ]
You sound as if you have some experience in the matter.
[ Of atonement, that is. Maybe curses? ]
no subject
Not particularly, however, I am a princess in my world and that can carry reprecushions for my people. I understanding wanting to do my best, no matter what may lie ahead. It sounds like a difficult path, but I believe it is not impossible.
[ Really, she wouldn't be hurting her friends by admitting that was probably going to end up being their aim now they're waking up to a world they fucked over royally, but... she's too new to trust how that will go. ]
no subject
Well met, your highness. A crown is a heavy weight, indeed, and I cannot claim to know its rigors.
I am but a knight, though even alive that came with its own set of burdens. Yet somewhat easier to bear than my present circumstances, admittedly.
no subject
Of course. I would not wish to assume anything either, as I am unaware of the circumstances as I have said. However, I am a firm believer of those that wish to improve themselves.
Yet... something you said bothers me. "Even alive"... does that mean you died before you found yourself bound to ALASTAIR? I apologise if that question is too rude.
no subject
I died twenty years ago, along with the majority of my people. A few of us were not allowed the peace of the grave.
no subject
Were you revived in your world, or to come here? I admit I have not heard of such a thing before which is why I am curious.
no subject
I was raised long before I came here. If you know nothing of undeath, count yourself lucky, princess.
no subject
I apologise for asking again, it was rather selfish of me. However, just because I am unaware of undeath does not mean everything is well in my world either.
no subject
It does not trouble me to speak of it.
[ Interesting comment, though. He inclines his head to one side. ]
I would never presume such a thing of your world. Wherever there are people, there is strife. Only the shape differs.
no subject
Then thank you for sharing this with me.
[ Though no, it isn't that, just-- ]
Most people are dead in my world with no chance of reviving. I understand undeath being something I imagine is quite horrific... but I wish some of those people may have had a second chance.
no subject
[ achilles ]
But true resurrection is possible in Azeroth, as well--within certain limits. I had not realized this wasn't so in other worlds until very recently.
no subject
Then you truly are a good person after all. [ Someone who wishes to change for the better and wouldn't do that to their most hated enemy... if she could kill Junko Enoshima over and over she might consider it at this point. Who knows. ]
It is a strange thing for someone of my world, at least. Though the technology of my world may be like that for many others.
no subject
No. There is little good left in me. But there is something of honor, on occasion.
And on my honor, I say this: those who stand with me do not fall.
[ He said it to Sieglinde, he's saying it now, and he's likely to say it again soon. Because he believes it, fully. So long as he persists, so long as he has his power, Audentes will not fall. ]
no subject
[ It's better than damning everything for the hell of it, that's for sure. ]
Are you really that powerful?
no subject
[ He's definitely met many people who lack any sort of honor at all. Some within Audentes itself. ]
I am a death knight. Little is beyond me, though it comes at great cost.
[ He does not sound boastful or prideful; if anything, his tone is somber. ]
no subject
I see. Then I hope you can treat more carefully in the future. It does sound as though you regret your past actions, after all.