text, @TARANTO, day after the saloon fire

[heavyhitter]

hey guys guess what: blankets!!! me and TF to the fucking rescue, we rustled up like 40 of these bad boys
super cozy, some nice patterns. one of them has a robot wolf on it
it was also all entirely legal

they're ALMOST free, all you gotta do is tell me a story then come get one (i'm by those spiky ass fat plants that bleed if you knock them over)

also since i have 40 and there's more than 40 of us, i guess also pick someone to get cozy with

Comments

[heavyhitter]

it's pretty likely i would have yeah
SOMEONE'S gotta look out for you right

[gutpunching]

[Whups. Well, that's no surprise. Superstrength: 1, outdated Oliver Queen bullcrap: 0. As he's not at all here to be Actually Helpful—]

Too bad, really spoils the whole theme. Presentation is everything, you know.

[selfimage]

[ there's a long silence. ]

You did this on purpose. :'(

[heavyhitter]

:)

so what story is it gonna be today

[fivenareff]

[He appreciates that straightforwardness. But let's see . . . a story that isn't depressing or discomfiting, hm.]

I assume you're at least passingly familiar with magic and the like?

[Not that Stands are magic, but that's an easy way to explain them.]

[selfimage]

[ there's a sigh in the text. ]

And what kind of story would you like to hear?

[ you have options, Ramir. ]

[dishearten]

does looking out for myself not count?
and you'll have to battle my brother for that spot, if you're quite insistent on it.

[endeudado]

[ Jesper chuckles. ]

He swallowed lockpicks and some explosives to blow the locks in case he couldn't actually pick the doors to our cells open.

Awesome, right?

[dbag]

Whoa, hey, no. You're asking for two stories for the price of one, and you aren't even gonna sweeten the pot?

[dokyuu]

Okay, fair enough. You got any left, 'cause I didn't bring a shirt to this shitty planet.

[And he's got stories.]

[heelies]

[It is hardly his fault that literacy in his culture is not yet so widespread as it will one day become, sequestered instead within its own narrow niche. Nonetheless he appreciates her willingness to accommodate him, for this seems to him the more natural way to communicate.]

Because you know not the stories of the Achaeans, for you, Ramir, I shall start from the beginning. Aphrodite sprung forth from the seafoam, into which devious-minded Chronus had cast the loins of Father Sky after severing them from the rest of the flesh. Being that she is of the sea, she holds in her visage all of its exquisite beauty: all pale in comparison to her fairness.

Yet just as the wine-dark sea is dangerous, its waves capable of swallowing the ships of men or dashing their hulls upon the jagged rocks, so too is such beauty dangerous. The gods feared the fierce rivalries that might embroil their hearts should so many of them fall in love with her, compelled as they were by her fair features - for who could gaze upon one so radiant and not wish to have her in his embrace? Thus almighty Zeus who bears the aegis decided that she would be wed to Hephaestus the famous craftsman. For his lameness and his features homely, he was hardly a contender for Aphrodite's love, and so all could agree to this union.

Yet Aphrodite was not pleased to share in the marriage bed of one so hideous to gaze upon. Thus she cast her eyes elsewhere, landing instead upon Ares, the fighter with the bull-hide shield.

[Here he allows for a dramatic pause, that she may digest all of this information.]

1/2

[pummelling]

Oh no. I'm calling you an """embellisher""". [ because he is one too lmao ]

Have it your way. Lemme see...

jk 2/3

[pummelling]

okay. got one.

Many years ago, there was a clan called the Shirai Ryu. They were all skilled ninja, incredibly so-- as their Grandmaster ordered, their targets were summarily eliminated. But the best and most fearsome warrior of them all was a man named Hanzo. He was fearsome, or so I was told. The Scorpion was one to be reckoned with.

Like you'd expect, Shirai Ryu weren't without enemies. The Lin Kuei, a rival clan of assassins based in China, had always been at odds with Hanzo and his Shirai Ryu brethren. Generations of a grudge. Only one clan could stand victorious in the end and both knew it well.

So one day, they acted. The Lin Kuei exploited the one weakness of the undefeatable Hanzo Hasashi: his family. And they offered no mercy. His wife was murdered first. The son was next. Grief-sticken, he too fell at the assassin's hands.

But his tale doesn't end there. His damned soul hungered for recompense, even from the depths of hell. A self-seeking sorceror gave him that very chance. Dark magic pulled his soul from the Netherrealm, gave him a body and new life... or an unlife, I should say instead. So consumed by hatred and rage, he had become something inhuman. A vessel for the justice his former self sought so desperately... a creature of hellfire and death.

Hanzo himself was no more. The undead agent of revenge, Scorpion, was born. And he wanted exactly what he was owed: the blood of the Lin Kuei.

[pummelling]

Annnnd he got it when he tore Sub-Zero's head and spine clean out of his body

I was like 2 and also not at the Tournament so I didn't see it but everyone who did was very very clear that his entire spine came out

[heavyhitter]

what the hell does your crazy healing thing work on cold too?

[heavyhitter]

holy shit
wait like right down to the pelvis? did he get the pelvis out too or did it stay?

also i'm gonna assume sub-zero was someone from the lin kuei, right

[heavyhitter]

holy shit
that guy's my fucking hero

wait important: did he barf or shit them out

[endeudado]

[ This is a totally legit question, Jesper understands. ]

Nah, he coughed them up. We didn't have time to wait that long.

[heavyhitter]

[ ah she'll be happy to take that pause for some interjections, she can't live without interjections ]

Hell yeah, Aphrodite is definitely my kind of lady. But hang on — why's Zeus pairing them up? Does he wanna get some sweet crafts out of him for it, or something?

[ she's going to ignore the point about why zeus decides who she gets to marry at all; that's a line of indignant questions for another time, maybe. ]

[heavyhitter]

oh my god okay fine, two blankets, be a hero and share one with one of these guys who suck so bad at stories
keep going

[heavyhitter]

Sure, yeah. [ She waves a hand, like she's bored of the idea (not that she actually is, but image is important). ] It's impossible not to be, here.

[heavyhitter]

something exciting, preferably violent, explosions are a plus

[heavyhitter]

oh my god seriously
have you tried going shopping

but yeah i got plenty, no worries there

[heavyhitter]

your brot

oh the wolf
he's not ACTUALLY your brother-brother, right

[heavyhitter]

uhhhh dark reddish i think
totally creepy, it's kinda awesome