text, @TARANTO, day after the saloon fire

[heavyhitter]

hey guys guess what: blankets!!! me and TF to the fucking rescue, we rustled up like 40 of these bad boys
super cozy, some nice patterns. one of them has a robot wolf on it
it was also all entirely legal

they're ALMOST free, all you gotta do is tell me a story then come get one (i'm by those spiky ass fat plants that bleed if you knock them over)

also since i have 40 and there's more than 40 of us, i guess also pick someone to get cozy with

Comments

audio; un:unknownrealms

[headlining]

Oh? A story? That's it? Seems like a cheap method of payment. Is there any catch as to what kind of story we can tell?

[heavyhitter]

yeah make sure it's not a shitty one

[headlining]

Fine, then. Shall I tell it here, or in person, then?

[heavyhitter]

hit me, right here right now

[headlining]

Alright then, here's a quick little Irish folktale for you.

A man once had a son and wanted to see him grow up and make a difference in the world, but he was poor and did not have enough to send him to school. Unable to find any other means to get money, he became desperate, and decided to sell his soul to the very Devil himself to pay for his son's education.

His son grew up to be a very fine young man, and decided to become a lawyer. His father was surprised, disappointed even, but relented in the son's decision, thinking that as long as he was happy, then his bargain with the Devil was worth it.

One day, when the father and his son were sitting in their house, the Devil appeared before both of them, claiming that it was time to claim the father for good and drag him down into hell at that very moment. The son, lawyer that he was, stood up and protested, yelling out with a cry:

"Please, spare my father! I will make you a deal - could you allow him to live in piece until that piece of candle standing on our table has burned down to it's very end?"

The Devil looked at the lit candle, which was barely an inch tall, and laughed. Of course the candle would not last for long. He agreed, ever so amused...

Until the lawyer reached over to the candle, and, with a smile, blew out the flame and pocketed the unlit piece of candle. And that was that! The Devil had to keep his bargain, and the lawyer and his father were able to live in peace for the rest of their lives.

...So, how was that? Was it worth a blanket?

[heavyhitter]

hahaha oh shit, fuck you devil
see that's what people get for hating on lawyers though, you want that shit on your side

anyway yeah, come get your prize

[headlining]

Alright! I'm glad you liked it. I'm a story collector, really, so it's just one of many I've read over the years.

Coming right over. What are the other patterns, may I ask?

[heavyhitter]

if you're so story rich maybe i should charge 2 for you

uhhh how do you feel about plaid