text, @TARANTO, day after the saloon fire

[heavyhitter]

hey guys guess what: blankets!!! me and TF to the fucking rescue, we rustled up like 40 of these bad boys
super cozy, some nice patterns. one of them has a robot wolf on it
it was also all entirely legal

they're ALMOST free, all you gotta do is tell me a story then come get one (i'm by those spiky ass fat plants that bleed if you knock them over)

also since i have 40 and there's more than 40 of us, i guess also pick someone to get cozy with

Comments

2/3 jk

[competing]

Anyway, despite how awesome and cool and totally capable our heroes are, they still ain't got nothing on an entire alien army of evil bad guys. We'll call them the Skullra. But what's every hero got? A weapon! This weapon happens to come in the form of five — I know, super convenient, what are the odds — giant robot leopards, and when they all join together they form the mighty Soultron: Defender of the Universe!

But good things don't just happen to good people that easily. Our heroes had to look for each leopard, all before the evil alien empire gets their hands on them, because SURPRISE SURPRISE they want the weapon too!

As luck would have it, one of the leopards was actually on Earth this entire time, and Leo — our main character, ace pilot, popular with the ladies, super cool super good guy — was the one to find her. They formed a bond instantly, and he was flying that leopard around like it was no big thang before any of the others even realized what was going on.

Turns out? This leopard had a home, and it knew just how to get there. One wormhole trip later — not unlike the rifts ala ALASTAIR — and our heroes find themselves aboard another alien planet, but this one belongs to the other good guys, the ones who've been trying to fight the evil alien empire this entire time! They'd been asleep, but thanks to a very saucy kiss from our hero, Leo — did I mention the ladies love him? — the alien princess wakes up! Because of true love! Thanks to her and her advisor, she's able to tell our heroes all about the universe's plight... and thanks to their swanky alien technology, our heroes now have the means of getting all the other leopards! One of them is already there, in the princess' castle, and another two are on planets that were not too far from where they currently were...

but the last one?

[ pause for dramatic effect ]

It's on the Skullra's main battleship.

[ dun dUN DUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ]