un: sieglindesullivan / video

[grunehexe]

Greetings, Audentes. It is I, Sieglinde Sullivan- also known as the Green Witch. I am sure you are occupied with your own matters during this valuable personal time, but I must interrupt for three announcements, if you might lend me your ear.

The first is that Date Masamune, one lord of Oushuu, has been transferred to a different team. I know that not many of you have been with us since Chantes, but he was a valuable team member, and he will surely be missed.

[By her, perhaps most of all, but she manages to keep a straight face, hastily moving on.]

The second is that it has come to my attention some of our members come from worlds where literacy is not as prominent. Access to book learning is one of the most important aspects of an education, so I shall be using some of my time here in Oska to improve this situation. I am able to instruct in multiple languages, but I shall be focusing primarily on what many worlds call English, as I found it the most useful for communication during the period when our translators were defective. You may join open sessions in the castle library each day from an hour past noon.

On that note, thirdly, I need your assistance with one of those new pupils. As much as I prefer to work alone, I am afraid this issue deals with a delicate combination of spellcraft and science, and so I shall be opening up this project to others of like intellect hopefully differing experience. Graham, if you would like to say a few words?

[She reaches forward to turn her magitech brooch. revealing a certain rugged Huntsman. Said huntsman, for his part, was listening. Which explains why his first word seems more relevant to her second announcement than her third.] ...Pupil? [He's aware that means student, and feels as if he might have to explain to Sieglinde he can indeed read and write... though perhaps his handwriting leaves something to be desired...

That can be a conversation for another time, however. There's more important matters at hand to discuss now.]

Those of you present in Perdition's Rest might recall, I have been heartless for a long time. I've asked Sieglinde to help me try and find some kind of solution, though it occurred to me the secrecy didn't aide in finding a solution. [Talking to Koltira had reminded him of how much more he could do. He owed it to himself, and perhaps those who cared about him and wanted to connect to him better, to do all he could instead of asking Sieglinde to do it for him.] If you think you might be able to lend aide, or have any questions about my condition, I'm here to answer them. Even if there's no perfect solution, I'd ... I'd like to feel things, again.

[Feel things properly is perhaps the better way of putting it, but considering this is a great deal more than Graham tends to talk already, he nods and indicates that's all he has to say, and Sieglinde takes back the video.]

How anyone capable of lending a productive hand could deny such a sincere appeal I do not know. I have seen we have new recruits among us, so we look forward to hearing from you if you have experience with medical surgery, curses, or other magics.

Thank you.

Comments

[winces]

[ and so she cycles through the rest of the list, each time never giving hint or clue as to which one she will go to next. she waits until sieglinde has the full opportunity to feel them all, until the young girl then encourages her to move on, and the more she works, the easier she finds it becoming to manipulate. to mold.

of the list there were two emotions she purposefully avoided, feeling a tug at the back of her mind, something that felt a lot like guilt. but no matter how many emotions she did, no matter how well each one of them worked, sieglinde urged her to press on, continue—

in the end, she could do nothing more than acquiesce. she opts, in the end, for the simpler of the two emotions. simpler, but only because of its breadth. this she pulls back for, settling back on the subtlety of suggestion, like tiny whispers in the back of the mind. she figures it is not an emotion she will have to try very hard to evoke... ]

[grunehexe]

[With the more positive emotions there had been at least a modicum of resistance- that wasn't quite the word. Nothing actively fighting against the emotions, she was trying to be as open as possible in order to ascertain the way it worked, but there was a hitch in the beginning, the briefest sense of the unnatural. They weren't anything close to what she was really feeling, after all. The emotion only came on as strong as Olivia willed it, not picked up and carried by her once the implant was gone.

Until "sadness".

There wasn't a hitch, no resistance, only the frustrated attempts at preventing an inevitable, thinning lips, furrowing brow, gritting jaw, hunching shoulders-

Before hot tears start rolling down her cheeks.]

[winces]

[ olivia sees them, counts each one that roll down and spill over spread skirts and clenched fists. she swallows thickly, feeling her own emotions pang at the sight of them, but with no word from the young girl, her powers neither falter nor rise, but instead maintain that steady pulse of suggestion.

she should stop, she thinks, for her point here has been made.

but another, quieter voice in the back of her mind proposes that maybe, just maybe, there is yet a different point to be made here. ]

[grunehexe]

[At least for now she's able to pretend that this is only happening because of the emotional suggestion- and technically it is. She's been keeping things together quite nicely. In the public eye, at any rate. Sieglinde had spent the day Masamune left barricaded in his room, the sound muting music box ALASTAIR had gifted her open so that she could wail and cry without attracting attention, but she didn't want to show that to anyone else.

What did they know about that man? About how she'd felt about him, and what he'd been to her, and what it was like to lose him? Nothing- so what point was there to sharing her tears with anyone? It wouldn't bring him back. It wouldn't make her feel less alone, when no one else had occupied the same place as he had- perhaps not even close.

But the luxury of being able to pretend has to end, because even like this she only gives it as long as she'd let each other emotion continue before she holds up a hand.

Head down, facial expression mostly hidden now by her long, dark hair, Sieglinde chokes the words out around held-back sobs, tears still plopping heavy into her lap and dampening her gown.]

Next-

[winces]

[ and so next it is.

quieter still, this next one comes. a dark, creeping thing, slipping into the cracks that that sadness had left behind, not quite filling them to their fullest, but never letting them close and heal either.

and whatever disappointment olivia might have felt in hearing nothing else from the other girl? that, she keeps to herself. ]

[grunehexe]

[There's only one more- process of elimination meant she knew which one it would be... and much like "sadness", there's not much prompting needed for Sieglinde to feel this last one.

Loneliness.

She had hoped the switch would make it easier to stop crying, but she's already started, and loneliness was close enough in nature to sadness that there's almost no physical change at all- just a change in the angle of her thoughts.

Masamune had left her alone. He'd promised her he wouldn't let her be transferred away from him, he'd promised to be her new family, to take her back with him to his world, and instead he was gone and she was still here.

The choked-back sobs lose the choke as Sieglinde loses the battle to the forcibly surfaced emotions, curling in tighter and clutching at her skirts, willing herself to not ask for the ability to be dissipated until the same amount of time had passed as the others.

But the second it does she holds up her hand, struggles for the words. As if it was fine. Just an experiment.]

Thank you, that- That is enough-

[winces]

[ and just like that, just like all the others, it stops abruptly, leaving behind no trace of its claws save for the tears on her cheeks, the dampness pooled at her skirts.

olivia waits a good, long while before speaking, taking care to keep her voice even. ]

...Would you like me to leave, Sieglinde?

[grunehexe]

[It was fine. Just an experiment.

It's what she keeps telling herself, as she struggles to bring herself back from the opening of the floodgates she's been working hard to keep shut, struggles to keep the sounds quiet, keep the tears from falling, keep her shoulders from shaking, keep the overwhelmingly negative feelings from clawing their way painfully out of her chest.

She might never see him again. Never feel that way about a person again-]

I simply require a moment-

[It might be hard to make out, but she gets the words past the tears, knuckles growing white in her skirts to combat the instinctive urge to wipe her eyes, which she knows will only smear tears and mucus across her face.]

Excuse me-

[winces]

[ this is good, olivia thinks, even though it pains her to hear the other one sound so distressed. this is good because this is necessary, and if recent trials have taught her anything, sieglinde will only come from this all the stronger.

yes, it may be miserable for a while. and it should be. it should hurt, because that time, that person had meant so much.

but like all wounds, it should heal too. but that, olivia knows, is all in due time.

carefully, she reaches forward. the touch is tentative, fingers curling softly around sieglinde's clenched fist. ]

It's alright, [ she says, just as evenly. ] Take all the time you need.

[grunehexe]

[In the stories she had read as a child, (years and years ago), emotions this powerful were fearful things. Heartbreak wasn't something you got over, it was something that sent young maidens to their graves, and brothers in arms to reckless deaths in battle.

And small witches to consumption via distraction, anything to not think about the absence of the person who had picked her up from the cobblestones on that Chantean night, given her someone constant, someone strong, someone who said to her for the first time in her life that she was valuable without meaning to my agenda.

It's tempting to pull away from that contact, just to make the point that she didn't need it, in some misguided attempt to look strong... but when she's already crying there's no saving it, is there? Part of her wanted to move the slightest inch she'd need to in order to hold the hand she's offered, but she holds back, still trying to maintain the illusion.

But she doesn't push it away, and for Sieglinde, when she's like this, perhaps it's something.

Like time.]