video; un: PERIDOT5XG

[slapfight]

Since we have our new marching orders, and are preparing to depart relatively soon, I feel as if I should go on record admitting my one weakness.

[she makes an agitated noise.] I'm not good at blending in.

[she holds up her hands, suddenly excited.]

But! But I have learned that the one thing that sets me apart is that I'm considered to be very funny. So by using my natural gift for comedy, I will surely keep the natives off guard while we plan out our strategies.

The problem is I don't have many jokes. The one about the chicken, while hilarious, will probably lose its charm after awhile, so in the name of preserving teamwork, I ask of you, my fellow Audentes, to give me, the great and lovable Peridot, your best jokes.

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video | username: xXx_trueblue_xXx

[competing]

...Wait, if being funny is what sets you apart, how's that gonna help you blend in?

[ HE SEES A FLAW IN YOUR PLAN, SON. ]

[slapfight]

[HRGH] Because humans enjoy comedy, and by standing out in a way that appeals to them, I'll be able to distract them.

[competing]

I guess weird stuff is easier to digest when it's funny...

[ it's a compliment. really. ]

Alright — what've you got so far?

[slapfight]

As of this moment... Puns. The "knock knock" jokes don't seem to be working out.

[because Mettaton is a dick.]

[competing]

Knock knock's a classic, but the kind of classic only a small few can still appreciate. Like slap bracelets.

[ he rubs at his chin, considering this. ]

Puns are pretty tricky, though. You gotta be able to find the right balance between clever and cheesy. Too clever and you get called a hipster, and too cheesy and only little kids will laugh at it.

[slapfight]

[Peridot's first in-game poofing is going to come via slap bracelet incident, calling it now.]

...Wait. There's nuance to it? [UGH. HUMOR IS SO HARD. she growls.] Why can't I just count on everyone being charmed by everything I do?

[it might be a rhetorical question or she may be genuinely curious. it's hard to tell.]

[competing]

[ oops. it's a good thing they aren't going to the 90s in their next mission, when slap bracelets were Definitely a Thing. ]

There's nuance to charm, too! You never wanna be too much or too little, okay. It's an Art.

[ he speaks in the way one would if they were boasting some sort of mastery at the craft.

but lance definitely stand to listen to himself a little more regarding this... ]

[slapfight]

[they are so Self Aware.]

And this is an art you're proficient in?

[he seems confident! she must follow this logic.]

[competing]

[ ...








technically, comparatively, he is. ]

Yeeeee-up.

[slapfight]

[SEEMS LEGIT.]

Teach me. My charm might be the only thing I have in my favor on this mission.

[competing]

[ this feels like one of those moments that you should probably stop and think real hard about. ]

Uh — sure. Like. Now?

[slapfight]

Do you need time to prepare?

[competing]

...No! Of course not!

[ you guys wanna see a magic trick ]

In fact — that's lesson one!

[ watch this boy pull something incredibly ridiculous right out of his ass ]

Uncertainty! Too much confidence can really put some people off, so every now and then you need to sprinkle some uncertainty into the mix to let people know you're still totally relatable.

[slapfight]

You mean pretending you know less about something than you do makes people like you?

[this is entirely new information for a know-it-all like her.]

[competing]

I mean I'm not telling you to outright lie to someone — cuz that'll just get you into more trouble than you want. [ lance, whoever wants trouble. ]

But, you know... you don't always have to brag, I guess.

[ says lance "they call me the tailor" blue paladin. ]

[slapfight]

I see...

[well her constant bragging hasn't really gotten her anywhere...] That makes sense... You receive validation for your accomplishments by their own merits and not because you drew attention to them.

[competing]

[ now if only he takes his own gd advice...

it's different for him tho ok. he's a middle child. ]

Exactly! Plus, it feels ten times better when the praise comes unprompted. See? Stick with ol' Lance here, and you'll be just fine.

[slapfight]

Wow thanks. [for all that it sounds like a sardonic statement, she seems genuine... almost like... that's how she expresses sincere gratitude. thanks, steven.]

This is... new for me. It's impossible for a Peridot to stand out on her own merits when there's so many other Peridots.

[competing]

[ whoa that... that hits way too close to home. lance actually has to take a moment to reel from it. ]

What, you... you don't think you have what it takes?

[slapfight]

[hnngh] It's not that. [she shifts uncertainly.] Back on Homeworld for Peridots to receive the best jobs or the accolades, you have to stand out in some way, but we all look almost exactly the same and have the same skillset. If you're not willing to draw attention to your accomplishments, you're just... One more Peridot.

[something she never really thought about until she came to Earth and was the SOLE Peridot.]

[competing]

[ okay, he... he gets that. he gets that real well. ]

Well, if it helps, no one's gonna be looking at you like you're just "one more Peridot" here. We're all so different, we already stand out that much without even trying, you know?

[slapfight]

That's true enough... Now that Jasper's gone, I'm even the only gem left here.

[she has mixed feelings about that one.]

[competing]

[ who's jasper ]

Gem, right... What's that mean again.

[slapfight]

...It's what I am.

[gestures wildly to herself.] I don't want to say "sentient rock person," but that seems to be the definition that makes sense to humans.

[competing]

[ ...................................... ]

Neat.

[ sorta like the balmerans! or the balmera! or both. ]

I know some aliens that are sorta like that. They're real cool. Helped us out in a pinch a few times!