video; un: white_lotus

[pummelling]

[The magitek's pulled back far enough to feature not one, but two members of Audentes... or, rather, one of them striving vainly to nudge his teammate out of the feed. It's the tail end of the struggle, though, and Kung Jin is fighting a losing battle. It takes half a second for Asher Millstone to shove his way into view, taking up half of the screen and speaking up before Jin can truly get a word in.

The law student looks more excited than ever when he starts speaking, and even lifts his arms above his head in a “raise the roof” sort of gesture.]

It’s time to get wiggity wiggity whack, yo!

Don't. [He nearly slaps a hand over his friend's mouth, but reconsiders, elbowing him back instead.] So, Audentes. Since we're almost all set to leave on our next assignment, it's come to our attention that not everyone here is from a world that people like Asher or I consider "modern day".

Whoa, you? Wait a minute. Last I checked, there was nothing normal about you, man. People in your world, like, rip dudes’ spines out through their mouths and crap!

[After he says this, Asher immediately turns from Jin back to the camera, and waves his hands emphatically in its general direction.]

Don’t try that.

[Jin casts a dubious glance at Asher and moves right along in spite of all the interruptions.]

Even if you look the part, you’ve still got to play the part, too. If you're looking for any advice or tips to blend in properly on-planet, we’re pretty much experts-- so let us know if you need a hand.

[The paler of the two pops up right behind him, leaning on the other’s shoulder.]

That’s right, baby! We’ll teach you how to be 90s.

Comments

[slushfund]

Never seen you with it off. It's like somebody with glasses takin' 'em off... Now your skull looks weird.

[moneyballer]

[TO JIN:]

Did you just call me a thing?

[pummelling]

I meant the headband, dummy.

[did he just

yeah he just put it on asher's head.]

[moneyballer]

[it falls right over his eyes holy shit this thing??? is heavy save him]

[slushfund]

[pummelling]

This is how my skull always looks.

[ignore the baby forest animal in the corner of the screen.]

Anyway, while it serves a purpose, it's armor, just like what I wear on my shoulder. Nothing's stopping me from going without, especially if we're going incognito.

[slushfund]

So, what's your guys' plan? To make this kind of "old school" language a habitual thing, you'll need to hammer it into their heads within a very short amount of time.

(flipping a hand,) It might just confuse the shit out of 'em.

[moneyballer]

[He tugs off the headband with one arm, expression changing.]

You're right.

[There's a lot at stake this mission, especially for Asher.

This is his first, hell, maybe only, chance to prove that he's worth something.]

Teaching them to keep a low profile might be a better idea.

[slushfund]

Ah, a good idea. I'm not gonna take a dump on your fun, 'cause listening to you idiots bring up Vanilla Ice and high-waisted pants together is what my night currently looks like, but think seriously about the future as well...

(a mission success is so far out of their hands right now.)

There's a 0.01% chance this ragtag team will manage to get through this one.

[moneyballer]

[He casts a more serious look in Hiruma's direction, something the other will recognize.]

That's what I'm worried about.

A lot of the people here, they're not used to...

[Asher eyes Jin for a moment.]

They're not used to certain things being hard for them. I've tried to explain it, but they won't know until they get there.

God.

[He really wants this one mission to work out.]

If we screw this one up it's gonna be really awful.

[slushfund]

(a smirk, eyebrow quirking.)

It's heavy right now 'cause we're not in the thick of it, but don't freak out before the big game, Coach Millstone. Even if it's 0.01%, it's still not a complete waste of time. You have to pep these rookies up.

(a hand raising and waves.)

If we accept the rest of them are fuck-ups and things don't work out, then it's up to the average sons of bitches to pick up the slack. I, for one, was born ready.

[moneyballer]

[If anyone were to listen in, they'd pick up on some subtle hints.

It's clear these two are oddly familiar with each other, comfortable, despite having hardly been seen hanging around. Asher lets his guard down a little, offering the quarterback a soft flicker of a grin. Hiruma is so pragmatic and hopeful at the same time, it's crazy, but the old Millstone meatsicle would have to say that he's a fan.]

Yeah, I guess it's up to us.

You know what's really been getting my goat, though?

[slushfund]

(don't mention that "the old millstone meatsicle" is a fan, for your own sake. for your livelihood. for your future.)

...

What?

[moneyballer]

It seems like nobody's talking about the virus yet.

[To be fair, they don't know much about it.]

What happens if one of us catches it? It's not like there's a cure.

[slushfund]

(he's read that briefing countless times and is thinking along the lines of the same thing — but there's no way to tell.)

Guess everyone's gotta stay celibate, keep their blood in their fucking bodies, and try not to sneeze into each other's mouths. (a brief pause, considering the virus and what it might mean for them.) I can only hope some of the people helping out at the hospital or in the labs will snoop around, try to see if they're covering anything up; cures, leads, whatever.

(a shrug, blasé.)

They always hide that shit. Nothing like a good murder-virus to make pharmaceutical company CEOs billionaires. They've probably already found the cure for cancer.

(other than that conspiracy theory garbage...)

Discovering the origin of the virus will be at the top of my list of things to do. My cover story'll allow me to do some heavy research, it should cast suspicion off me.

[moneyballer]

Damn.

[Asher breathes a sigh of relief as he runs a sweaty palm through his hair. He's not alone in thinking this.]

I thought I was just being paranoid.

It is weird, right? That it popped up out of nowhere, and the guy who had it...

He was in a public place. Why? Was it planned? Did a part of him want revenge for something...? I don't know. Sounds pretty fishy if you ask me.

[slushfund]

Well, on the flip-side, you see every virus-related horror movie ever? It always happens in public, like on a city bus or something. (a sigh, leaning onto his hand,) A gross bird fucks a pig and the pig takes a shit and a rat eats it and a fly bites the rat. Bam— you've got a deadly pandemic on your hands.

(his eyes flick to the side, though, considering the rest.)

But it does sound fishy. Maybe it's the Zymandis fuckers' invention and they're trying to lure us to another helpless planet for a cull. Beats me.

[pummelling]

[hey hello guess who conveniently tuned out to talk to others when asher and hiruma were talking about him? it's this guy!!!!!

re-summoned by mention of zymandis:] It doesn't sit well with me at all, either. If Zymandis was able to orchestrate something like the Taraxa on a planet like Q-65 and on a people as hardy as the Qorral, there's no telling what they're capable of pulling on average humans on an average human world.

[but that's his tinfoil zymandis hat speaking.]

As for the virus and us, I think we can leave it at don't get infected.

[slushfund]

(hiruma also has a tinfoil zymandis hat, so they're making a crazies club. with 90s bomber jackets.)

That's what I'm sayin'. I don't trust any of these guys as far as I can throw 'em and that's not very fucking far. Gotta hand it to 'em, though, throwing us onto the set of alien Coronation Street is really clever.

(a sigh.)

I hope it's their equivalent of '99 so I can watch everyone freak the fuck out about Y2K again.

[moneyballer]

I know but-

[Asher fires back, fuckboy visage fading.]

I wanna believe that'll happen, but you've both seen this team! I know a lot of 'em are just trying to do right, but-

[He hisses.]

They're impulsive, and violent. Somebody's gonna screw up, and if this place is anything like my world...

They won't be able to get away with it.

[asher hunni have u even seen the title of ur canon]

If Zymandis really is behind all this, they probably have a better plan than we do.

[slushfund]

Well, good thing I'll be dealing closely with the law enforcement there. Maybe I can learn enough to drag a few teammates out of jail by their fucking hair.

(shaking his head for the fiftieth time since this conversation started.)

Just calm the fuck down till we're planet-side, alright? Once things start to happen, we'll have a better idea of what to do. (a shrug, clearly making his hands busy with whatever time-consuming craft he's at next,) Ambushers always have the upper-hand in the beginning, but if we lose our heads about it now we won't be able to counter if or when the hammer drops...

(pricking his finger with his sewing needle, only a sharp tsk out of him as a result.)

As for me, I'll be wearing a medical mask in public. They'll just think I'm a pseudo-Chinese guy paranoid about smog or something...

[moneyballer]

[Asher observes the way Hiruma's fingers move carefully across the fabric, distracted by just how nimble they are.

He's got a point, there's no use in worrying now.]

Learn enough to drag them out of jail? Wait.

[Hiruma does not seem like the kind of guy who'd intern with the cops, as he's way too shady.]

What do you mean by that?

[slushfund]

(raising his eyes and a thin brow, staring at the video feed through messy bangs.)

I'm gonna be interning as a defence attorney. They set me up a gig at some criminal law office.

[moneyballer]

No wayyyyyy, José!

[stOP]

Don't tell me you're interning for Lye and Steel, too.

[look at how excited he is. a friend!!!!]

1/3

[slushfund]