video; un: white_lotus

[pummelling]

[The magitek's pulled back far enough to feature not one, but two members of Audentes... or, rather, one of them striving vainly to nudge his teammate out of the feed. It's the tail end of the struggle, though, and Kung Jin is fighting a losing battle. It takes half a second for Asher Millstone to shove his way into view, taking up half of the screen and speaking up before Jin can truly get a word in.

The law student looks more excited than ever when he starts speaking, and even lifts his arms above his head in a “raise the roof” sort of gesture.]

It’s time to get wiggity wiggity whack, yo!

Don't. [He nearly slaps a hand over his friend's mouth, but reconsiders, elbowing him back instead.] So, Audentes. Since we're almost all set to leave on our next assignment, it's come to our attention that not everyone here is from a world that people like Asher or I consider "modern day".

Whoa, you? Wait a minute. Last I checked, there was nothing normal about you, man. People in your world, like, rip dudes’ spines out through their mouths and crap!

[After he says this, Asher immediately turns from Jin back to the camera, and waves his hands emphatically in its general direction.]

Don’t try that.

[Jin casts a dubious glance at Asher and moves right along in spite of all the interruptions.]

Even if you look the part, you’ve still got to play the part, too. If you're looking for any advice or tips to blend in properly on-planet, we’re pretty much experts-- so let us know if you need a hand.

[The paler of the two pops up right behind him, leaning on the other’s shoulder.]

That’s right, baby! We’ll teach you how to be 90s.

Comments

[achaean]

On that matter, friend, we are agreed. Yet I know not where to begin.

[moneyballer]

Well! It might help if you have a buddy.

[Asher is dumb enough to volunteer himself for something this difficult, even though he'll have a full-time job on his hands.]

I'd pimp myself out, but-!

[kanyeshrug]

You probably have somebody else who knows you know better.

[achaean]

My dearest friend, whom I have accompanied since a young age, from whom I am inseparable in form or spirit, I have at last been allowed to rejoin here by the godlike will of ALASTAIR. That much is true. And as I seek counsel above all others his that knows me so well, I know also that he is ill-fitted for such a task. As for war-cry, or story-telling, both would be more suitable requests.

[moneyballer]

[...................]

So, no.

[achaean]

You are correct.

[moneyballer]

Well, you got my number pal.

[An expression.]

If you need anything or have any questions, feel free to hit me up! You might wanna avoid talkin' to strangers in general, though. Once we get there.

[achaean]

Indeed, Asher, son of Millstone, I doubt this is the last question I have for you and I have been meaning to ask; who then are your children?

1/?

[moneyballer]

[TIRE SCREECHING NOISES]

2/3

[moneyballer]

[he wants to say no he wants to clarify that there are no tiny lil sons of mill but oh god what about that one time at the frat party where he got really drunk and maybe didn't pull out fast enough but then the girl never called him again what about that?????????????]

[moneyballer]

[c-coughing]

I don't have any. At least, not that I know of.

[achaean]

...Why do you proclaim that you are a father, then, in place of a name?

1/3

[moneyballer]

2/3

[moneyballer]

3/3

[moneyballer]

[Very quietly:]

That's not what it means.

Re: 3/3

[achaean]

What then, if not to boast of your fatherhood!

[moneyballer]

[Things are silent on his end for a moment, as Asher contemplates whether or not it's possible to feed himself to the monster that lives in the lake.]

It's a different kind of braggin', yo.

[achaean]

[ He pauses as if to think of a comment, but instead: ]

Braggin'... Braggin'.

"Yo"...

[ He trails off in deep consideration. ]

[moneyballer]

It's...

[THROAT CLEARING]

A different kind of boasting. Don't worry about it.

It was a mistake.

[achaean]

Will you not explain this to me, Asher son of Millstone? There is much that I do not know of this world in which we are about to disembark, I require your expertise.

threadjacks

[slushfund]

I'd say you need to change this fucking username, but your face is priceless every single time someone asks. You did this to yourself!

[moneyballer]

[He is screaming:]

It was a joke and an accident and if I wanted to change it I'd have to-

[A deep breath.]

I'd have to speak with the higher ups.

[Basically, he'd be too embarrassed to do anything about it at this point.]

[pummelling]

[shaking his head in the background.....asher...]

[slushfund]

(CACKLING—)

This here is an idiot, everybody, an idiot!

[moneyballer]

[he knows]