video; un: white_lotus

[pummelling]

[The magitek's pulled back far enough to feature not one, but two members of Audentes... or, rather, one of them striving vainly to nudge his teammate out of the feed. It's the tail end of the struggle, though, and Kung Jin is fighting a losing battle. It takes half a second for Asher Millstone to shove his way into view, taking up half of the screen and speaking up before Jin can truly get a word in.

The law student looks more excited than ever when he starts speaking, and even lifts his arms above his head in a “raise the roof” sort of gesture.]

It’s time to get wiggity wiggity whack, yo!

Don't. [He nearly slaps a hand over his friend's mouth, but reconsiders, elbowing him back instead.] So, Audentes. Since we're almost all set to leave on our next assignment, it's come to our attention that not everyone here is from a world that people like Asher or I consider "modern day".

Whoa, you? Wait a minute. Last I checked, there was nothing normal about you, man. People in your world, like, rip dudes’ spines out through their mouths and crap!

[After he says this, Asher immediately turns from Jin back to the camera, and waves his hands emphatically in its general direction.]

Don’t try that.

[Jin casts a dubious glance at Asher and moves right along in spite of all the interruptions.]

Even if you look the part, you’ve still got to play the part, too. If you're looking for any advice or tips to blend in properly on-planet, we’re pretty much experts-- so let us know if you need a hand.

[The paler of the two pops up right behind him, leaning on the other’s shoulder.]

That’s right, baby! We’ll teach you how to be 90s.

Comments

[twinpeak]

[ Technically, Dipper knows she wouldn't have to change a thing. And yet... ]

Okay, lesson one. When you're greeting someone you know you ask, 'sup dude? Luckily, it's still cool to say.

[strictdiscipline]

[oh my god why are you doing this to me]

'Sup dude.

[Sounds.........reasonable, sure.]

But that's only for those you already know?

[twinpeak]

[ Pftt, she actually said it— ]

For the most part; it's a friendly, casual thing. Might not want to use it on, say, your super serious boss.

[strictdiscipline]

[Because she TRUSTS him. Her first mistake, tbqh.]

I see. [She doesn't see. But moving on:] What about phrases I should avoid saying?

[twinpeak]

[ It was a mistake. :^) ]

Hmm... [ Okay, so he's not actually expertly versed in 90s word usage, so he goes with the easy, simple answer: ] Like... all of it?

[ HOW HELPFUL!! ]

Okay, okay, but seriously—it's not like we're speaking a whole new language here. Just be normal! You'll probably slip right in better than others on the team.

[strictdiscipline]

All of—

[Dipper, what?? She can take the rest of his suggestion under advisement, sure, but as for that part—]

You mean everything Asher and Jin have been saying?

[That's the only logical connection she can make here.]

[twinpeak]

Yyyyeah. You'll be fine being who you usually are! And everyone's human with no magic powers and all that. It might even be a bit similar to what you're used to back home.

[ Maybe?? Like, there's not gonna be any internet, how super advanced could 1993 compared to her homeworld be. ]

[strictdiscipline]

[Well for one, they have TVs....Dipper's gonna have to introduce her to Duck-tective.]

That does sound closer to home than any of the other worlds we've visited so far.

[Which, in that case—]

Does that mean you'll be attending school while you're there?

[twinpeak]

[ Welp. His demeanor visibly deflates. ]

I don't want to, but it'd look too suspicious if I don't...

[strictdiscipline]

Do you not enjoy school?

[Not that most children do, but there are exceptions to every rule.]

[twinpeak]

I guess it's not awful, but outside the stuff I'm actually good at, it's mostly really boring.

[ And as curious as he is to see what highschool is like, Dipper isn't looking forward to being the "new kid" in a sea of total strangers, either. ]

[strictdiscipline]

Maybe we'll arrive during an off-season and you won't have to attend for a few weeks.

[Break. She means during break.]

[twinpeak]

[ Off season... Riza... ]

If only. If we have to plan for school at all, that definitely means it can't be summer vacation there.

[strictdiscipline]

Would you rather be infected by the Bristol virus?

[Just checkin']

[twinpeak]

—What? No, no, absolutely not.

[strictdiscipline]

School it is then. [Briskly:] Make sure you do your homework every night and go to bed at a reasonable hour.

[Have they even decided on fake family cover stories at this point, probably not. Is she still gonna mom him? Hell yeah.]

[twinpeak]

[ oh my god, she's starting to mom already. ]

But we gotta do the mission, too—

1/2

[strictdiscipline]

[Immediately:]

You can do it after you finish your homework.

[strictdiscipline]

[But actually:]

I'm joking. Focus on the mission first. I'm sure all of the teachers in the city will be more concerned with students and parents falling sick than a few missed assignments.

[twinpeak]

[ RELIEF...! ]

Oh. Yeah! Plus, y'know, moving to a new town's gotta be rough! Not that it's gonna matter much in a few months... Maybe I'll get to play hooky for the first time ever, ha ha...

[strictdiscipline]

[She's not even gonna say anything, just give him a Look.]

[twinpeak]

—For the mission! I swear!

[strictdiscipline]

[FIIIINE. But speaking of the mission, she softens a little.]

Take care of yourself, Dipper. I'm sure you know what you're doing better than most of us [what with the journal and his adventures in Gravity Falls] but I worry anyway.

[Gross.]

[twinpeak]

[ Aw... He offers her a tiny smile. ]

I'll be okay—promise! If I can survive one zombie army, then I can survive another.