text; un: shitpost king

[hedonistic]

sup nerds
sorry to interrupt everyone's doom and gloom party over here, but with the whole zombie apocalypse thing going down outside, there's about 90% less shit to actually do and i'm super fucking bored, so

let's play never have i ever

which, if ur one of the stone age people, goes like this:
u post something u have never done
other people reply
threadjacking is encouraged
if u ever did the thing u gotta post urself taking a sip of booze of ur choice
(or u can just go honor system i guess if u want, i'm not the boss of u)

if ur like a tiny baby or are a lame person who doesn't drink u can have water or soda instead
the challenge for u is to avoid peeing as long as possible

so i'll start us off

never have i ever....had an urge to chomp on human flesh (◡‿◡✿)





(no i'm kidding. i'm kidding, that's not the real one. u can put down ur torches and pitchforks lmao)



ok here's the real real one: never have i ever been on a roller coaster

Comments

[skelepun]

[Probably. But in a fun way, honest.]

Heh... alright, kid. [And there it is. A single clavicle, quickly joined by a few more. Eventually, it's clear they're spelling something out.

Not as neatly or as uniform as his brother, but nobody was quite as good at this as Papyrus.]

OK?

[hedonistic]

[Hey he's a Full Grown Adult tyvm!!!! (only technically, kagari, only technically)

The bones join together into a word, and hey, that's one he actually knows in English! Have some thrilled clapping, Sans.]

That's awesome! What else can you do?

[skelepun]

Whatever happened to the whole drink thing?

[He waves the bones away, and they disappear like they were nothing.]

Keep asking me to do tricks and I'll run through my repertoire in about five seconds.

[hedonistic]

[aw....bye bones .....]

Hey man, you're the one who called for a draw.

[skelepun]

Yeah, 'cuz I'm drinkin' office supplies over here. [Wink.] Future-tense, buddy. Future drink. Oska's gotta have a bar, right?

[Please, lord.]

[hedonistic]

No bar, but they do have a magic kitchen you can summon alcohol from. It's pretty sweet.

[skelepun]

... Huh. [Sans voice is somehow both impressed and disappointed.] Far be it from me to argue convenience, but I'll miss the crappy stools and dirty glasses.

[And the standing excuse to leave rooms he didn't want to be in.]

Bartenders, too. Who's better to spill your guts to, amiright? [Wink.]

[hedonistic]

[Kagari's never had the distinct pleasure of chatting up a bartender while drunk, but the reasons for it would rob the conversation of its light and breezy tone, and that's not what he's here for right now. So instead, a joke:]

Other drunk people? Less likely to remember your shame.

[skelepun]

They're decent too, I suppose. Easy to beat at cards, anyway.

[Sans' mouth doesn't open, but brings a hand to his mouth anyway, making an impressive facsimile of a yawn.]

'Sides, there's nothing shameful about drowning your problems, what're ya talking about. That's just practical.

[hedonistic]

No, no, that's not the shameful part. That's the rest of what you do while you're drunk, like try to meow the alphabet or see what happens if you try to microwave tin foil.

[He offers a theatrical shrug]

A bartender, now he's gonna be sober for shit like that.

[skelepun]

[Sometimes it's refreshing, to be reminded just how old and boring he is. This kid's version of drunk sounded like Sans' version of strenuous exercise.]

Seems like you're the life of the party, kid. Dunno if I'd last a whole night. [Speaking of, he affects a thoroughly unconvincing yawn.] Tibia honest, I dunno if I'm gonna last five more minutes.

[Another stretch, this time accompanied by a loud crack of his neck as Sans rolled his shoulders.] It's been fun, pal. Let's do this again.

[hedonistic]

[Tragically, he does miss that last pun, due to his English still being somewhat limited. Alas.]

Well, far be it from me to keep someone from their bed. [is that...a slight eyebrow waggle....kagari no....... Don't.]

Next time with alcohol, make no bones about it.

[ONE MORE FOR THE ROAD, SKELEBRO]